Is it a bad idea
for us to try to get full official custody of SD when she would really rather be at BM's? SD lives with us, and has 3 out of the last 4 years. As I wrote recently, we're seriously considering attempting a custody battle to establish full legal and physical custody. BM is a complete waste of space, an alcoholic, neglectful, and suffers from severe depression and anorexia, but she does love SD. SD is 11, and in GA she can choose at 14. SD's SF (a true a**h***)once told her that the "only time BM is happy is when she is with them." SD is aware that BM is depressed, but we're not sure how much of the alcohol issue she understands. She just thinks BM sleeps a lot and spends time in her room because she's sad.
However, if she didn't feel that terrible guilt and responsibility to be her mother's crutch, we think that she would rather be with us. We are much more strict than her BM (who doesn't give a rat's behind what she does), but she also gets to have a life with friends, activities and outings when she is with us.
We're tired of being at BM's mercy and her manipulation is much more effective now that SD is getting older. Has anyone had a court decision reversed because SK chose the other parent? Does an 11/12 yr old's opinion matter when it is clearly in their best interest to be with one parent over another?
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In Georgia
In Georgia your right that she can choose at 14 and yes unless you can prove BM is unfit she can choose where she wants to live no matter who has custody. At the age on 12 I know the court will put what she wants into consideration but won't leave the choice up to her.
They also factor if she has brothers or sisters and where they live, because the courts don't want to split them up.
~Don't fear the thorns among the Roses, but be greatful for the Roses among the thorns~
grrrr...
thanks... I hate this. We're just so torn. SD has a half brother at each house.
Do it NOW if you're gonna
Because once she is 13 or 14, she can choose for herself in your state?
And most girls that age are going to choose the house they can have the most freedoms in.
Trust me, now is your only shot if you are to do it. Is SD in counseling?
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
Have you thought about
Have you thought about helping her get into Al A Non. It's great for kids of alcoholics, it helps them understand what the parent is going through and also helps them to stop feeling guilty about it.
It's kind of a weird
It's kind of a weird situation. We aren't sure how much SD is aware of the drinking. She used to tell us how BM would sleep on the floor, and we have seen garbage bags full of beer cans & liquor bottles outside of their place, but she never mentions anything about it. All she will say now is that BM spends a lot of time in her room. BM must be trying to hide it from her. Her psychologist (she has been going to an excellent one for about 5 months) doesn't think she is aware of it either, and doesn't think she should be made to talk about it until she brings it up.