I remember reading another blog you posted ealier in the month about finally putting your foot down with him and standing up for yourself.
Did that ever happen? Because it sounds like you need to seriously find your voice in this relationship.

"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis

There is nothing wrong with feeling the way you do. There probably is something wrong with continuing the relationship while you have these feelings, though, and I think you did the right thing. You've been at this long enough to know that it's almost impossible to bring about any real change if you don't have a full commitment from BF and it's pretty clear that you don't.

What you are feeling isn't wrong or selfish or bad or anything like that. Your expectations are not unreasonable. Not to man-bash or anything, but I have a couple of problems with this guy... him getting drunk on the ride home from work and him apparently thinking that his job as a father is to just be an EOW babysitter to his kids. Neither one of those screams "responsible parent" to me and even though you are nine years younger, you seem to be the more responsible one. It's hard enough being a stepmother when you and your partner's parenting styles differ. It's downright impossible when your partner refuses to parent at all, and that's what it sounds like to me... he sounds like he thinks his job as a parent is to just pick them up every other weekend and make sure they are returned to their mother alive and well at the end of the visit. He's present EOW, but not really an involved participant when it comes to child-rearing. If you want children of your own someday, maybe this isn't the best guy to father them.

Hang in there and be strong. Relationships and family and children are all hard enough in a perfect situation, and this is definitely NOT a perfect situation.

♥ ANNE 8102 ♥

But it sounds like, from your original post, that you were already prepared to do what you needed to do with your BF and were getting ready, mentally, to do just that.

Anne made some very good points (she usually does). Even though you are younger, you are the more stable, mature person in this relationship, and this guy doesn't seem like 'father' material. Maybe he isn't the one you want to start a future family with. And because you had the opportunutiy to see how he treats his present children, it's a terrific indicator of how he'll treat any future children, don't you think?

You made the comment, "I broke up with him last night and told him I was moving out. I'm not sure he even really cares."
After 3-1/2 years, you'd think he'd care just a little bit more. Isn't that another big indicator?

I can't tell you what to do here, but you seem like a very level-headed woman. Stay strong and do what is best for you.

"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis

Fed up.. have the courage to stand up for yourself. Is it possible to be out by the time he comes back on Thursday???

I would just hate for him to think that you are just making empty threats.

Good luck, because you deserve better. You will also get better.. I am sure of that!!

or in your case living together, is the PERFECT opportunity to evaluate your potential future with someone. This person with allll this baggage is dragging you down. THERE IS SOMEONE out there for you. You are sooo unhappy and sad and lonely-----don't pick this for your future sweetie. There IS someone out there without all the obstacles.

Fed Up I echo my good friends advice from above, you deserve to be treated like an important part of your BF life not like a sitter.

we are here for ya!

"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."