wake up call
picture it...st. louis. 630 am. FH and i are lying in bed trying to wake up, kissing and snuggling like we always do when lo and behold...text msg on his cell! now, who do u think this is from?? its a visitation weekend w SD so naturally its the nutcase. she feels its important to text at 630 to tell him that she is staying home w SD today. so he will be picking her up from her house instead of daycare i suppose.
now i know that since he usually gets her at daycare and she wont be there that BM needed to text...but at 630 am?? he doesnt get her til like 530. its just the point of her texting and reminding us we have to deal w this crap for the next 15 years. i know its really minor but i just dont need a wake up call (pun definitely intended) from her so early in the am. FH said hes going to tell her that she cant text that early unless emergency...but that doesnt work. hes told her before. and i know its my fault for letting something so little get to me, but its just the prinicple of it...she doesnt need to text so early and shes just doing it to be a bitch. it just starts the weekend off on a wrong foot for me.
thanks for letting me get that off my chest.
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looks like....
he may have to tell her, that if she is going to text/call that early in the am., that his phone will be off~between the hours of midnite-8am. It will just go right to v-mail, and then he can still get message at reasonable time....if she says, "what if there is an emergency between that time", simply say...."If your really worried about that then you wount call - text so early,for non-emergencies, your giving me no choice. ""~waiting on the world to change~"
oooh good one chel!
its just the invasion of privacy and the rubbing it in my face i cant stand, u know?
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
o we hate this too
BB has called at 3 am befor because she was drunk and needed directions home from the bar she was at haha. We had ss so Dh didnt answer... but she does that at ramdom times, txting or calling at inappropriate hours, so Dh has the phone on vibrate or silent when we go to sleep. Even if there was some sort of an emergency, we just figure theres not much we can do from another state. She a big girl, she can figure it out.
Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.-Erma Bombeck:
FH has the Control
If this is something that gets to you, then you have to let your FH know! Why does he have his cell on? Can't it be on vibrate?
My DH used to do this as well- keep his phone on ALL the time- JUST IN CASE there was an emergency with the girls. In five years, there has NEVER been an emergency. But there have been a ton of ridiculous unnecessary phone calls and texts from the crazy ex at all hours of the day and night.
Until I told him how much it bothered me and that I did not like the fact that SHE called him more times in the day than I DID!!!
So now we have a new plan. DH always keeps his phone on vibrate at night from 10pm-7am. And if it's HER even during the day, he NEVER answers- he lets it go to VM. And if it's important, she'll leave a message (she rarely does). And if she does by some miracle, he'll call back when it's convenient for HIM.
Now that DH and I have this new plan in place, our home is much more peaceful, AND the amount of phone calls have drastically dropped. I guess she figured out he wasn't interested in playing her game any more!
"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis
it was on vibrate
but we keep them in our room so we could still hear it. his only got up to check it bc his son is away so he thought it might be him.
he doesnt answer her calls ever and doesnt text her back unless he absolutely has to. hes managed it well. i just have a bug up my ass about it all rite now and so it irritated me. trust me, i DID let him know! i cant keep my mouth shut when it comes to BB!
like i said just the principle of it all...no woman likes to be reminded first thing while shes lying in bed that her husband has a kid to another woman...or maybe thats just me!
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
you're 100% right
there's been many times that we've been...um...'together' and his phone is vibrating on the desk (of course he can't hear it) and I just KNOW it's either the crazy ex or the kids calling with some nonsense.
Which, of course just totally ruins my mood completely!
"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis
we'd rather her text than call
we didnt have an attorney bc we are broke thanks to CS (i digress) and so we didnt get ANY form of protection whatsoever when we went back to court. we had evidence of her harrassment, wanted to limit communicate (non-emer) to email, public exchanges, etc. they said to it all. left us open for more communication than we had before.
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
Once, SD's BM called DH on Father's Day at 8am
To tell him BM got herself a puppy. He didn't answer because it was Sunday, his only day off at a job where he got up at 4:45 every morning, M-Sat to work, and SD was with us so he didn't see any need to pick up. She wouldn't leave a message either. Called about 4 times (no waiting in between, just re-dialing til he finally picked up with a "YES?????"
She was giddy/manic. Didn't call to tell SD or anything. Didn't pick up on his angry statement, "You called me at 8 am on a Sunday, Father's Day...to tell me you got a puppy?" She said, "Happy Father's Day." Then proceeded to continue telling him all about her new puppy.
CRAZY....
Finally after a couple minutes of him holding the phone away from his ear giving me an inquisitive look he said, "You're unbelievable. We are still in bed. I will have SD call you later when we're all awake if you want."
BM stammered and stuttered an "Oh...sorry....ok that's fine," and they hung up.
It was RIDICULOUS.
But as you titled your post, it was a "wake up call" and a sign of things to come.
Your DH needs to tell her that he would prefer that non-emergent calls or texts come during normal "business" hours (on weekdays, and later on weekends.)
BM used to call DH at 4 or 5 am to tell him something about SD, especially when she traveled to Europe a few times to see a BF who was stationed there. If you don't give them limitations (and sometimes even if you do) they will continue to do things that seem to go against common courtesy and common sense!
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
he has sita
nothing works w her...u know that. he will tell her again though.
i guess i should be thankful that she hasnt been calling when we dont have SD, bc she used to call/text ALL the time about NOTHING. not having SD during the week is probably the reason for that though bc when we do have her, she hasnt laid off the nonsense.
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
FH prefers that BM text
FH prefers that BM text because he can't stand talking to her. Usually she will text him about the kids but occassionally she will call and then proceed to try and talk to him like they are best friends and it just drives me nuts.
She called him a couple of weeks ago on a Friday night, when we didn't have the kids to tell him that they were both spending the night at a friend's house and that she wasn't going to be available because she had plans. He was like WTF do I care if she has plans, this was her pathetic way of letting him know that she was going out. Hey loser - he really doesn't care if you managed to pay some poor schmuck into taking your fat ass out for the evening...
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin
LOL!! arent they ridiculous??
BM has mentioned during exchanges "im going out tonite" or this was a classic..."i had 2 dates last wkend and one was w a very wealthy man" YEAH RITE!!! wealthy men dont go out w white trash unless they are paying for it and no one would pay her for anything. FH's response..."good!" like he cares. PATHETIC
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
pathetic
i think she surpassed that when they were together and she bought HERSELF an engagement ring and told people he proposed!!! all her family! so he had to tell everyone i did NOT propose to her nor will i ever! this was after she got pregnant on the sly. she was forcing a family on him...no wonder she hates me bc now i have what she wanted.
that takes the cake, no??
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
It's friggin hilarious that
It's friggin hilarious that she thinks he really cares about that sort of thing. We feel nothing but pity for any poor f**ker she ropes into actually dating her.
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin
ours cant get a date
wonder why??? she said once before that she wants to be single and has NO intention of bringing a man into her kid's life...translation: no one wants to be part of my life.
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
It's the same for FH's ex as
It's the same for FH's ex as well. I guess she has had a couple of so called BF's since the divorce but they never last and to be honest any guy that would want her is probably not the greatest quality person anyway.
FH told me that part of the reason he stayed in the marriage so long was because he knew that she would latch onto the 1st guy to pay her any attention and that this guy would probably be a loser and he didn't want his kids around that kind of guy.
Not only is she incredibly unattractive but she has a muffin top - yuck!!
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin
She's not invading. You're letting her in.
Turn the phone off. She can leave a msg. If it's a life or death emergency, someone will get in touch with him, even if it means having the cops drive by to let him know.
________________________________________________________________
ANNE 8102 ♥ GEORGIA
DH ex accually told the
DH ex accually told the court that DH called her on the day we got married and said he still loved her! I'm not quite sure WHY she thought CS court needed to know this... Plus she thought we got married the middle of April and we were married March 30th!
When we were dating (all of 1 month) she called four and five times a day to tell him how the girls were and that she missed him and loved him still. He started keeping his phone off since I also had mine. I put a stop to the phone calls though.
I started answering the phone for him. I would ask her "Are they bleeding?" She would say no and I would tell her he would call her back. For the late night calls I would tell her the time and say if their not bleeding to call back at a normal hour.
I don't care the womans hated me from day one. All because I got her man, her bread winner. I'm sorry but she's the one who cheated and he left her and found someone better.
Her new thing is sending the Skids their wedding pictures in the mail b/c she thought they might like them. She's been sending one a month. GGgrrr... I'm going to find them all when the kids aren't home and hide them till their 21. Then they can't wave them in my face everyother day!
Don't fear the thorns among the Roses, but be greatful for the Roses among the thorns
I agree with
I agree with 5teensathome...no reaction is best. Although for me...easier said then done for sure! We also have a new "rule"...the BM may only call our home phone. This has alleviated much of the nonsense calls to my DH cell phone. BM doesn't want to risk ME answering her calls so they are few and far between...at least for now!