What a joke
So FH decided to go ahead and call CPS...they said she's not doing anything illegal. A 5 year old can be outside while you watch from a 2nd story apartment window, I guess and it's ok for a child not to bathe unless their hair is greasy...One more for BM I guess..this woman gets away with everything. And he can wear clothes too small for him and it's ok. The worker doesn't suspect any abuse. whatever...ugh...I give up
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one more example of a bad BM just not being "bad enough"
this sucks. im sorry for u and for yr SS. the court system sucks...so pro-bm, no matter what. im sure if she wouldve called on yr FH, the story woulda been different.
So bad...
CPS was called on my ss's Bm once. Ss had cigarette burns on him when we picked him up from Bm's. He said it was from his Aunt(Bm's sister). We took ss to his therapist, who reported Bm. CPS was at our door to interview ss but no one even contacted Bm or her sister!!!! We couldn't even find out what the results of the report were. We got a complete run around!
It's a bunch of crap!
Dawn
what I don't understand
is why they didn't investigate it anyway? I mean for preventative measures. Like one of my regular customers said the other day, she's going to screw up FSS and than the rest of society is going to have to deal with him. And it's true! The kid has NO boundries and stability in his life at all...ugh...and I'm so sick of him bringing his stupid habits and behviors into OUR home. I know it's not his fault, it's his BM...but it gets old...
and what I also don't understand is
when my child was 5 I got reported for the SAME thing( i let my daughter her bike where I could see her from my floor level apartment building and the worker told me I had to be out there in case something would happen to her), which is why I told FH to call...I was told it's a state guidline for anyone under 7 years old to be IMMEDIATELY supervised when outside playing. That means you have to be outdoors with the child. Obviously they changed this guidline because the worker said your 5 year old can be outside alone as long as you can see and hear them. Doesn't make any sense to me.
maybe try again??
maybe if u call again and get someone different???i dunno, just an idea but i know lots of times ive called places and was given one set of info then called again and was given another.
I called
my daughter's therapist because she used to be FSS's therapist and she knows the whole pathetic situation. I'm waiting on her to call me back to see if she can give me any advice. I doubt she can comment on it but it can't hurt to ask!
That is why
Jay and I are working to get that advocacy group se up for dads. In our case, SD witnessing BM use cocaine, watching her mom be beat while she hid under the bed, burns from curling irons, withheld medication for asthma as punishment, two cases of sexual misconduct, being pushed down stairs... the list goes on. And CPS STILL claims that BM and her family are fit to take care of SD.
There is absolutely no justice in our country for children when it comes to non custodial fathers!!!
"I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on ebay."
Reunification
The ultimate goal of the child services division is to educate parents and work toward reunification. So, unless there is an immediate physical risk of danger to the child, they won't do anything long term. They might tell BM to supervise her child, but if there are no obvious signs of abuse/neglect there's not much legally they can do.
I know this :)
I've been through the CPS ordeal and they helped me out with a parent aide who comes to your home and gives you tips and advice about effective parenting, and they were very understanding and easy to talk to. I thought maybe they would go over there and do kinda the same thing. We are not looking to get him taken away from her, nor do we want full custody, we just want her to start being a responsible parent
Frustrating
I'm sure that is frustrating. I'm no expert, but my sister is a social worker. There are so many horrific stories, I think they may get a little jaded. In other words, they see so many truly bad situations that one where the parent needs to be educated but otherwise isn't doing a BAD job just isn't a priority for them. Know what I mean?
would threatening her help?
maybe if FH said, if u dont start doing X, i will take u to court for more time aka less cs? maybe since the thought of losing her kid doesnt scare her the thought of losing her paycheck will? u could even fabricate and say youve talked to an atty or whatever and u have a strong case...
well, according to your
well, according to your explanation above, my DH should have CPS called on him as his ex is threatening to do today, because we allowed a 7 and 9 year old to ride their bikes down the street 3-4 blocks away, while we were on our porch and could see them. The 9 yo "forgets" to apply her deoderant, so I am sure she could claim that we send sd back to her stinky and claim she is unbathed.
It's all about perception.
CPS is a joke!!
We have called CPS a dozen times atleast in the past six months since bm been around and not one claim has been looked at!!! even when she brought ss2 and ss3 at our meeting spot with no carseats, ss3 had size 12 mo clothes on.. that was just one report they blew off. We had to take ss2 to the emergency room for head trauma, they wouldnt look into it, they basically told us they won't do anything unless they are seriously injured....they are rediculous!! So i know how you feel!!
What a joke
CPS is a complete joke, what's happening IS neglect! Is there any way to get a child advocate or evaluator involved? Don't give up!
I don't know how to go about that
FH has already been denied a hearing twice by the same judge and it will cost him thousands to keep fighting. I don't know how to go about getting a child advocate up here..if you know how let me know!
we had a GAL ordered
when we went back to court...they were all ready to sign off on the mediation papers and then BM claimed my SS molested SD...nice eh? so my FH said i cant agree to these terms anymore and wanted to give up custody. the judge wouldnt let him but ordered a GAL to find out what was going on. nothing was, and nothing happened to BM for lying. BUT i think if u would file a motion to modify, and u can w/o a lawyer, when u go to ocurt u can tell them u think the kid is being neglected and the judge may order a GAL. he cost $1000 and my FH was ordered to pay $750, even though he was ordered bc of BMs lie. the only thing is, if they find he is being neglected, u may get more custody.
We also tryed CPS about BM.
We also tryed CPS about BM. She has a serious drug problem , Her family knows and wants her in rehab. We have all tryed to talk with CPS and to no avail. The kid basically has to get beatin and negected to the point of close to death before they step in. They must be overloaded with cases and understaffed i guess.