My oldest SIL has had ill feelings towards me since June 2006. Why? Well, SD was visiting DH for a few weeks and SIL wanted to take SD to a water park on the exact day I was going to be flying home from my brother's funeral. DH didn't even go with me because we felt it was more important for SD to spend time with her father and his family instead of being around a bunch of strangers for a week. Well, not only could DH not afford to go to this water park, SIL told him if he did not go, then he was a bad parent.

In the end he did not go, he picked me up from the airport, we picked up my son and went home. A few hours later, DH and SIL were screaming at each other on the phone over this and in my extreme grief over my brother, I just lost it. I grabbed the phone and started to talk, but she hung up. i then sent a pretty nasty email telling her that I was tired of her always treating her brother like he was a child.

Well, that started WW III. She dis-associated herself from us. She and DH eventually started talking again, and I apologized for my outburst a few weeks later and she said she just wanted to move on. Well, we found out 8 motnhs later that she was still upset over this event and that my apology was not genuine. During this 8 months, I kept my distance from her, as she wasn't talking to me anyway thinking she just needed some space.

This SIL treats her other siblings like dirt, expects everyone to worship the ground she walks on. But she is expecially tough on my DH, her only brother. We moved to another state as we were both offered jobs that would make our lives and careers better and she felt that I "stole" DH from the family.

A year later (so 20 months total now), she still has not accepted my apology. As we are going to be at her house for Easter, I am planning on bringing some flowers and a handwritten note with another apology. I am well aware that this apology will most likely be rejected. But at least I will have tried.

Truth, I was sorry about how I acted two years ago, but in my defense, my brother had just died at the age of 37. To this day I still deal with some very extreme grief and am taking steps to deal with it. It just upsets me when DH and his sister do not get along because what she doesn't realize is life is way to short to have these ill feelings.