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Here we go again

debiamia's picture

Submitted by debiamia on Mon, 01/21/2008 - 7:30pm

DH is out of town till Thursday and we were waiting for SD16's grades to be posted. I told him I would check the ParentConnect web site when I came home from work. Apparently he got a call from BM saying that she had called the counselor who told her that SD16 had failed all four of her finals and had actually flunked a class.No credit for that one at all. BM started screaming at DH over the phone telling him that she was bringing her back to our house TONIGHT! He told her that we would not take her back as the SD had put forth no effort, wouldn't speak to us, was disrespectful to us and our home despite our efforts to help her. Then she screamed even louder and asked why we hadn't FIXED SD and her problems.DH said he almost laughed at her. BM has been so inconsistent with discipline that SD knows if she persists she can get away with anything and everything.SInce the skids were really small DH has been trying to help her with parenting but she never sticks with the punishment. The whole thing ended with BM and SF scratching their heads over what to do. After all they wanted her back and felt SD coming home would be best. We had been telling them all along that she was failing, playing the waiting game and had learned nothing from her mistakes.In the meantime BM tried to be the disciplinarian tonight and DH told me that SD stormed off, got in her car and went to her BF's house.

Comments

sixxnguns's picture

Submitted by sixxnguns on Mon, 01/21/2008 - 7:33pm

if BM is being the inconsistant parent I say let her deal with SD...she's the one who turned her into a monster..you guys shouldn't be punished for her short comings...this is what our BM is doing to SS, I can already see this happening to us in the near future...:(

debiamia's picture

Submitted by debiamia on Mon, 01/21/2008 - 7:38pm

I said the same thing- she created this monster.Let her tame it.This kid isgoing to destroy her BM and SF 's marriage but not mine.

Sasha's picture

Submitted by Sasha on Mon, 01/21/2008 - 7:44pm

The first thing I would do is take away her car. She should be suspended from driving until she brings her grades up. After all, driving is a privilege, not a right.

Just my opinion.

debiamia's picture

Submitted by debiamia on Mon, 01/21/2008 - 8:02pm

The car, cell phone, computer. Then as she gets her grades up give something back.My BD had to take the bus to school until she was at the end of her junior year because we moved and she couldn't get a parking pass. It didn't hurt her but made her appreciate being able to drive.

debiamia's picture

Submitted by debiamia on Mon, 01/21/2008 - 8:52pm

DH is blaming himself- for being responsible for bringing her in the world, for marrying somene who was inadequate to raise the first child.SD16 is old and smart enough to get 10O percent on one homework assignment then 50 percent on the next. SHe can do it when she wants and does need to be held accountable because she will be so when she is employed.Besides at 16 almost 17 the parenting skills are to the point of being refined. You are basically done with teaching the morals, work ethics, etc. The final touches just need polishing to help them make good decisions which is our goal as parents- to raise healthy,independent kids.