Confused
I had this weird dream that made me remember something my step dad did a long time ago. I'm trying to let it go, but maybe I should just let it out first, so here it goes.
I was going to college & working full time in the evening shift. I had to be at work at 1:00, & work unitl 9:00. My step dad at that time worked as a truck driver for a local company. Sometimes he would cat-tail it to the house for lunch (meaning he had the truck but no load.) Now, the driveway was paved so that about 4 cars could park across the front of the house. One day he came home for lunch & parked the big truck - his work truck - behind all the cars, uncluding my truck. I didn't even notice I was blocked in until I walked outside. I went in & asked him to move his truck & he told me I would have to wait until he was done eating. This is the man that taught me to be responsible & put me down for not being responsible enough. Anyway, the neighbor wasn't home, & it didn't matter, because if he had parked partially in front of her house he still wouldn't have blocked her driveway. Basically, he parked that way deliberately to block me in, & he knew I had to go to work. He knew I would get into trouble. So I tried reasoning with him & when that didn't work I started yelling at him. I yelled at him the whole time he ate (cuz I'm stubborn too) & I was nearly in tears by the time he finished - yes, finished - his food, got his stuff together, got in his truck & went back to work. In the middle of the yelling he told me to start parking my truck in front of the neighbor's house. Not my work truck, my regular truck. I told him why should I park there, I live here?! He said he lived there too & had a right to park his work truck anywhere he pleased.
To this day I still go WTF?
Comments
And also...
When I got home that night from work we continued the fight because I refused to park my car in front of the neighbors house. Even at the time I thought it was rude to make that decision without even consulting the neighbor. Anyway, my mother was there & started to take his side & tell me to start parking there when my grandmother got involved. You see, my grandfather had that house built & left it to my grandmother & we were living there with her. She said oh hell no, Hipi's parking her car in the driveway & when he brings the work truck home he can at least leave her room to get out so she can go to work.
Look, I can understand it if I was going out to party, but I was going to work. And it's not like the truck was his... it was a big company truck, not his own little pickup truck. When he had come home for lunch that day, he had left his own truck at the job site & came in the big work truck. And when he told me to park my truck at the neighbors it was like he was telling me shouldn't live there. At least my grandmother always had my back.
Hipi
When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.
Sounds like you and your grandmother
need to kick your mom and step dad out of the house. Or just your step dad. No, both of them. Cause if you only kick him out, you'll have to hear your mom whining about it. But I guess you could also say, "if you don't like it, Mom, the door is right over there".
At least your grandmother gets it along with you of course. I don't understand why your mom and step dad think it's okay to treat you like a third class citizen? Forget making him a cake, EVER! He doesn't deserve it. I don't know you from Adam, but it doesn't make it right how they treat you so poorly. Please explain if possible...and if I've missed something and am spouting off erroneously, I apologize, but you seem to be such a nice person with tons of good advice and sense! I just don't get it.
MamaJenn24
Some men are like martinis: dry, very cold and they think they are fabulous because of the two olives dangling down at the bottom of their swizzle stick...Anonymous
I'm on my own now
And thankfully, which is probably why we get along a little better... just as long as I don't ask him for anything. I really don't know what his problem is, except that he's just jealous of my relationship with my mother. He needs to grow up, but at 52 I doubt he will.
At the time I was maybe 20/21 or so. I was in college FT & working FT & honestly partying FT. I did party, after school & after work was done. Hey! I was about 21 for crying out loud. I bought a new car, & I didn't pay any other major bills but I gave my grandmother about $50 a week. I think I was doing pretty good since no one was forcing me to do it. It was a fight just to get her to take it. I took care of the house, taking out the trash, taking care of the yard - that's right, I mowed the lawn, not my SF - took care of my mother's pond, the animals, I vacuumed... and since I was the last one to go to bed I usually put the food up & made sure the house was locked up at night. I don't know how I had time to go out! MY parents both worked, came home & watched tv. My mother would water her plants & do laundry. My grandmother would cook & wash dishes. My step dad would fix things occasionally. They really missed me when I moved out.
I know it's cliche, but if I had known then what I knew now I would have told them both to bite me & I would have moved out on my own then. I would have done whatever I needed to, but I was just so caught up in college & my job didn't pay enough for me to afford my own place & have my new car. Ah! The folly of youth!
Hipi
When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.
Sweetie
You sound like you have so much hurt inside of you. I am so sorry. Although I think it is great to vent, sometimes reliving this stuff isn't helpful any more. I know that when I had great pain I used to relive that horrible moment to the point where I would break out in a sweat & actually FULLY RELIVE THE MOMENT. I stopped doing that when I realized the damage it was doing to me. It is easy to say let it go, but put all those memories in a big trash can and put the lid on them. Then seal the lid with cement glue. It might give you a little peace for your life. You need not give mean & ugly people/thoughts one minute of your life.
Thanks guys
It was my intention to just let it go, but I really wanted other step parents' opinion about it since it came up. Really I hadn't thought about it in a long while. I don't plan on dwelling on it anymore.
And frankly I'm tired of most of the people I know defending him. It's like he can have this right to treat me like crap but I don't have the right to be offended by it. However, when I put it in those words they see my side of it, but he refuses to. I think that's what's most frustrating.
Hipi
When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.