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It's Hitting the Fan and I need advice...

patient but frustrated's picture

Submitted by patient but fru... on Sat, 08/18/2007 - 11:25am

We are having a birthday party for ss in a couple of hours. BGranM (AKA Ex) has been doing everything to sabotage this. He is turning 8 next Sat, but this is our weekend. Ex just called and told child "We are doing this and that with so and so and such and such..' and if you would rather do that there is nothing they can do to stop you blah blah...Child hung up the phone with her and announced to us after he opens his presents he is leaving to go to such and such and that there is nothing we can do to stop him. Boyfriend says "Whoa I can stop you and you don't talk that way to me." Child starts crying and said That is what she just told me to say..." So after a few minutes of "damage control" and child goes to play Boyfriend says to me I guess I have to let him go or I will be the bad guy. I said "What?" are you kidding? "that is the most spineless thing that I have heard you say. He said "what do you want me to do?" I just said you do what you want. To me that is sooo rude to the people and kids that are coming to play etc...and it is rude to us who have put all this together to give him a great party..just open his presents and leave. We are waiting to hear any advice, comments etc before boyfriend makes any decisions. Thanks.... (If I didn't make a lot of sense I apologize..I am upset!)

Comments

OldTimer's picture

Submitted by OldTimer on Sat, 08/18/2007 - 12:11pm

What is BF afraid of? The kid not liking him? That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard, and it's your time, your plans and yes, tooo f'n bad for BM to make plans on YOUR time.

I'd just be straight up with the kid, let him know that is was RUDE of BM to make plans on Daddy's time, that this is Daddy's time to be with him, not BM's. You made plans for him and his birthday just for him, and he's not going to be rude to all his guests. Leave it alone after that, and than let BM know that he's not going, you have plans... that's it. Leave it at that.

Wink StepMom

Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...

patient but frustrated's picture

Submitted by patient but fru... on Sat, 08/18/2007 - 12:17pm

LOL thank you sooo much ....it is so good to hear someone else who sees it this way!!!! Much thanks Smile

goingcrazy's picture

Submitted by goingcrazy on Sat, 08/18/2007 - 2:19pm

and tell your BF that he is going to have to stop being so passive because that is when BM's learn they can cotrol the situation. He also needs to go to court and get an order forcing BM to stop telling child those things. We had to do that for my SD and the judge ordered her grandparents and mother to not say anythig harmful. Granted they still do, but it has gotten alot better. Make SS stay. BF will not be the bad guy and SS will not hate him for those things. Actually as SS gets older, he will lack respect for his dad by not standing up for him. It will seem to him that his dad was always ready for him to leave. It is time BF grew a set and stood up for his child and the family that he has with you.