Actually have had issues with my BS(5) not wanting to sleep in his bed, but with me in my bed...and he even shares a room with his older brother and his younger brother. We've done things like putting several night lights in his room and buying him his own big flashlight. When we put him down to bed, he picks a stuffed animal to sleep with and we talk about how tough his stuffed animal is and how it will protect him from all the scary things so he can sleep. I also have to sing him a song every night (the alphabet song...it drives me nuts) and tuck him in. He's done a lot better since we did all that and keep to the routine when he goes to bed.

If she's splitting so many nights between families, it's probably all just anxiety. My BF's son is also 6 and had some problems coming in to his dad's bedroom at night. For awhile, my BF was letting him watch movies in his room to help him fall asleep, but that got to be a problem after awhile - he couldn't sleep without movies and would wake up when they ended.

Right now, he seems to have gotten into a good sleep routine - we bought him a special night light (ok, they're spiderman christmas tree lights - but the kid is convinced he's spidey's long lost brother, so the lights seem to do the trick), and some music that we play on "reapeat" on a CD so it plays all night. I thought we would use classical music, but the kid likes what his dad likes - Death Cab for Cutie and Jack Johnson. He loves the Curious George soundtrack. His dad also sits in bed with him before he falls asleep and does the traditional reading thing. If he wakes up, his dad re-tucks him a time or two, but after that we tell him we'll turn the music off - which he hates. Since he now hates to be without music, he stays in bed instead of having it turned off.

Anyway, I think instead of sending her back, if you walk her back in a time or two, it might be more reassuring. With some consistency and repitition, it might work. Also - have you tried getting her a body pillow? Maybe she misses the presence of a person, but might settle for snuggling up to a big long pillow?

Our thing now is trying to teach him not to wake us up on the week-end until at least 8. Tomorrow morning is the first morning we're going to try the "wake up on your own" routine. We bought him his own alarm clock and will tell him that he can knock on our door when the digital clock hits 8. Until then, he's allowed to play in his room or get a juice box from the fridge and go back to his room. The music should still be playing and it's like freakin' Toys R Us in there so he should be able to entertain himself.....hopefully!

SD 5 does this when she would come back from spending time with BM who would let her sleep in the same bed. Don't blame her because BM is the one at fault. She is creating a dependancy. Someone needs to give BM a reality check that at six years old that shild need sto be independent. There is literature that you can get online or at a local child therapist to show evidence that she is harmoing her child and enabling her anxieties. Once the BM stops this behavior, then you will see that she will get better at your house. Remember that she is not doing it to be bad, so I don;t feel that punishment is the right answer. When we are feeling anxious, scared, or insecure we wouldn't want to someone to punish us. SO go to the source. We had to have our attorney write a formal letter to hers requesting that she stop treating SD like a baby and insisting that she sleep in her own bed at night. If she didn't comply with our request, we would go before a judge and show that she is emotionally disturbing the child. It worked. Good luck. I know how crazy you feel!

Lovers do not finally meet somewhere, they were with each other all along.

I would love any links you have to those websites as well. We just got home with ss 6 last night(first visitation in 1 year and half) and found that at home ss sleeps with his bm every night although he has his own bdrm. As dh and I are a married couple, and we have been restricted from seeing ss for so long, it is extremely uncomfortable in sooooo many ways, having him want to sleep in our room with us.( We have a wonderful bdrm here for just him and also offered to let him sleep in bioson's, 11 bdrm with him, which still wasnt an option he wanted to do. Besides the fact that I agree that at 6 a child should be independent enough to sleep on his own.Get back to me if you can with ANY info you have...hugsssss Stephanie

I think I like what DaddysGurl has to say ... not so sure discipline is the issue, because she isn't doing it to be definat. Maybe some counseling for SD, or let her know, when you tuck her in, that it's okay to wake up, turn the light on, read a book or something to feel comfortable, but she doesn't need to wake you guys up every time. Maybe offer her some sort of reward if she can find ways to deal with it on her own. See if you can find her some other means of coping with sleeping alone, a night light, music, something.

I like the body pillow thing too ... and the routine. We have a routine too. SS used to wake up crying several times per night. All of the things mentioned here work for us too, story before bed, tucking in, music on, night lights, etc.

~ Katrina