I'm giving him back the ring
It's been over 2 years and I can't take anymore. All we ever do lately is fight and it's always about BM or SS. I'm tired of having to put our lives on hold because of BM and her inability to live a dram free life. I'm also tired of taking care of SS when all I get is grief from him and Fiancee (soon to be ex) doesn't discipline (he states he doesn't know how).
I'm so tired of being resentful, angry and hurt. I want back my drama free life and the first step is to give him back the ring. The second step is to get my own place. I'm giving that until the end of August, which will give him time ot figure out about getting someone else to start picking up SS from daycare when he works late and getting money together to pay the mortgage on the condo without me.
I'm just not cut out for this - I guess BM finally pushed me out
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do what you have to do to
do what you have to do to make yourself happy, why stay miserable. i would do the same if i was you. being a stepmom is not for everyone, i've been in that relationship for 7 years now and I still don't like the idea of it all. i don't consider myself a stepmom, just an aunty. bm and ss has put me thru too much pain and i don't plan on considering them my favorite people. ss ignores me and doesn't speak to me when all i do is be nice and giving. i give up. i just pretend they are not in my life and focus on my daughter & my happiness. good luck to you and keep in touch.
-happy mom
I'm sorry to hear.
Is there any chance of saving this?
Only, sounds terrible, I wouldn't give the ring back. I'ld stop wearing it to make a well needed point. I don't know what the proper thing is to do. I know when my sister broke off her engagement, she kept the ring and used it as a down payment on a car.
Do what you need to do. Keep us posted.
Best of wishes, Jo
"Why, if Juan Valdez had our beans, he would have shot his donkey and burned down the mountain." Jessica - Soap
update
He's swearing that he's going to take care of things - no longer giving BM the control etc... I told him that I'm not wearing the ring until he can prove it and that he's got until August to prove it because that's when I move out.
I told him I'm keeping the ring even if I end up leaving - I deserve it after all I've put up with
RE:
You do what makes you happy, but try not to blame this on the BM. She's not the one who didn't teach your SO how to discepline his child, and she's not the one who allows her to be an issue between the two of you. She's not there when you two do nothing but fight. Your relationship has its own set of problems completely independent of her. If you both can work together to fix those problems, it won't matter how much of a bitch she is or how dramatic her life is. BM will always be present but she is not the reason you two are falling apart. If you have a strong relationship, you'll be able to laugh at her antics together, present a united front against her BS, and not allow her drama to seep into your lives together. I understand that she may be an issue for you, but she's not the reason you two are having problems.
Maybe you could get the book that Anne and her husband have been using. I've heard a lot of great things about it.
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
It's true
we need to work on some things as a couple but a huge amount of the issues stems for BM. She's now in the process of filing a anti-harrasment suit because we sent her a letter asking her if she was going to take SS for the summer or any portion of it.
She's also now got us wrapped up in court to keep us from having SS stay with my family or our friends while we get married.
Fiancee does try to stand up to her but she waits till the last minute to tell us what she wants to do about visitation so that we can't make plans, she's always filing one motion after another that are always thrown out but she does it because it wastes money and time (ours).
She just hates not having control. Example: She talks to SS every night at 9pm (not because it's reguired but because we were being nice). We told her we'd get a seperate phone and to start calling that because we'd use it only for SS but she won't. She keeps calling Fiancee's cell because she wants to make sure that he's always home a 9pm and that we aren't out. She throws fits when he's working late or misses the call. We are no longer answering her calls and will offer the other cell via a letter so that we can cover our back.
We really don't argue about much other than when she is to involved and starts trying to mess with our lives
Good for you
Miss Angie,
It is none of her business where you guys are on your visitation weekend. See doesn't set your schedule and you don't even have to answer ANY phone if you don't want to. I am sure there is voice mail for emergencies. I hate BMS that try to control our households. My skids BM is the same way. There are 7 days in a week and she has unlimited phone visitation but she never tells us when she is calling. She as of late has stopped calling entirely but when she does call takes a fit that we are not home. She left nasty messages on our answering machine so as of late we started forwarding the calls so she is sure to get a hold of the children. She complained about the fact they are not at the house when she calls but in my opinion tough shit. She can talk to the children if she chooses. We don't have to be at home waiting by the phone in case she decides to call. And why always on a Saturday night when we are more likely at a movie, shopping, etc. Incredible!!!