It's a bride to get him to love her more..even when he's with you. Plain and simple. There's NO reason a child that young should have a cell phone. But they're cool, and all the kids want them. You're seeing "buying love" in action. Welcome to the club.

Stepup

stepup is right. All of the kids want them. We went through the same thing with my ss's Bm. She wanted to get him one last year for his 11th birthday. We don't think he is responsible enough yet. Maybe when he is in 8th grade. Since he is with us for most of the month, that would mean we would be the ones dealing with it when it was lost or broken or given to a friend to use or whatever. When we told her that we weren't going to be responsible for it, she didn't get it. Of course that made us the uncool ones but oh well, that's how it had to be.

If I were you, I would tell her the same thing we did. That you guys won't be responsible for what happens to the phone. Tell her up front.

Dawn

My ss is 3 so obviously a cell phone is out of the question at this point. But she does tell him that he will get a new toy when he comes back to her house... every single time... and she does it. BRIBES BRIBES BRIBES- The way I look at it, he has to be bribed to see her, he comes to our house willingly. He will hopefully take on the morals your house is setting for him and see her for who she truly is.

He's 8. The only reason he ever uses the phone is when BM calls him when he's with us. She actually only got it for him after telling US that we couldn't get him one. We had offered to get him one of those little Firefly phones on our plan that just have the button for Mom, button for Dad, emergency button, and that's it...BM flew off the handle and gave us a dozen reasons why we couldn't get him this phone, then not even 6 months later got him a full-fledged $300 cell phone with all the bells and whistles. She calls him about 10 times each visit that he has with his Dad which are only 8 hours long to begin with. The only reason she got it for him is so that she could call and interrogate him when he is on visitation with his Dad. We just turn off the ringer when he's with us. He also plays with the phone all the time and gets on the internet, downloads games and ringtones, etc...we all know that this costs money but we're not going to stop SS from doing it because we offered to get him a phone which he could not do thiese things on to incur additional charges and she made it a huge issue and told us no. Fine, you pay the $400 phone bill that your son has racked up using the services you gave him only because you didn't want us to. Not my problem!

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

I know that cell phones are really popular- I have ones for my kids but they are older-the only problems I have had is with my 12 year old-- she now realizes how much-texting/downloads costs- we did it for emergency purposes since they get out of school before I get home. Here is my view though-This is me- so I am sure you all know my H and I deal with a very psycho/sick EX for real-- court psych eval and all coming up--Anyhoo- When they got divorced she began the game of not answering phones- and told the kids they couldn't answer the phone either-- meaning my H hardly ever got through to speak with his kids. Because of this vindictive behavior, my H bought the kids a cell phone he paid the cell bill, repairs the hole bit that way he knew he would be able to reach them and since he produced that in court she couldn't deny the kids the phone or the calls to/from dad, well about 5 months after the new girlfriend came into te picture--that being "me" and the kids not only wanted to talk to dad but also wanted to talk to me she decided that she "needed" to be in charge of the cell phone-- they could still get calls but she "needed " to make sure it was dad that they were talking to- her new rule --" since the phone is for dad/kid use" that is all it is to be used for- no one else may be on their phone-- meaning me.Jealous are we?? well long story longer-we are no longer able to get a hold of the kids on their phone- he finally speaks with the EX who tells him that the screen on the phone does not work, so for "security reasons" ( yeah right!) the kids can't use their cell phone any more and she won't pay to have it repaired, she also denies him having it fixed( most likely because it is not really broken)-- so he will have to contact them through her phone-- basically we are back to her restricting call time, coaching phone conversations and monitoring ( again with no basis) or just plain not answering at all.unlike your situation sounds like she is trying to buy the childs love-- so let her pay for "her love" as well!as we are learning as they get older they really do realize that morals and earth bound love are more important than -what kind of phone they have or what they will park in their garage.My H doesn't try to "buy" his kids love but since she can't afford a lot of the things they need he wants to provide that for them-- she denies this as well at the children's expense due to her jealousy of us and insecurities- when are these EX's going to remember that it needs to be about the children not petty bribes and mind games?
Kristilibons

I am with you happy mom- That is how I have been feeling for so long.I guess that's what the above needs to realize it is never about the phone, the shoes, medication doses-- it is about however she can interfere, behave in a deliquent manner and tries to use the children to get even with my H- and that- yes- I have have what she ruined by her behavior.She is obviously soooo unhappy with her own life and so insecure-- my feet would hurt at the end of the day if I had to walk around in her shoes- I told my friend happy people don't behave so violently/vindictively/irratically- happy secure people do not do the things she has done and tried to do to our family. My H was a wallet to her not a husband.She got so used to running up credit cards and taking out loans ( that he would pay off) that she didn't know what to do with herself when she was suddenly single-- as she stated in her own words after my H told her she needs to spend more time fulfilling the childrens true needs and her own instead of trying to hurt all of us on a consistent basis and that he would be calling a mediation soon for the children's sake-- her only reply was "to get what you want is going to cost you alot of money and that money will go to me" proving money and being vindictive is more important to her than what is best for the kids.I could not sleep last night due to the up coming court case with her, we have not heard her response yet and we should have. I can only imagine what lies she will create this time-- Like I said I don't know if there are any left-- over the past 2 years she has pretty much covered all basis--( At least we are confident that since they are just that- lies- they don't hold much water and she has never gained anything but emotionally abusing the kids and us by telling them- that is a gain I don't understand someone wanting to have) We know that she lies to the children about us and we have caught and documented her telling the children to lie to us, I see them so little anymore due to either her limiting interaction between the kids and I or her trying to exploit and harm my Neice who now lives with us after being the victim of a crime--she refuses my 12 year old neice to be "near the children" her belief is that since she has been the victim of a crime she will now be a predator--this is to be blunt --ridiculous! my neice and her kids had formed a bond last summer that she once again severed due to vindictiveness, delusional behavior and thoughts--She has tried and I am sure is continuing to try to make the kids afraid of all of us as she has even stated derogitory things about my kids to her kids in front of me to cause my H's kids kids to feel a sense of fear or hesitance of being around my kids and I- They will be at our home for the first real overnight the first weekend in April, this will be the first time all of the kids will have been together in the last 2 years since her behavior began to become more drastic due to mental/emotional instabilty.In one frame of mind I am so happy that I may get a normal relationship with the step children that I had only begun to know before she yanked them out of our life, the other side of me knows that it will just go back and most likely become worse than it was before as she was-- driving past our homes to spy on us and the children during his time with his kids, calling and leaving nasty messages, calling the kids every hour on the hour all weekend, us having to call the police- OH I am sure we will get friendly visitors in blue due to bogus calls she will make just like in the past,I am sure she will go back to interrogating the kids as they come back home ( if we don't get full custody)before they can even take off their shoes.. The kids used to tell us they were tired of her when they had to go back home because she would question them about me and my H and my kids before they were allowed to take off their coats and have a snack. How sick is that? and what a terrible place to put your young children in mentally.I say this because I don't know what other lies she has told them about us and I don't know how they are going to act around our family, I told my H that they will need lots of counseling to undue the damage she has done, so we will get there when we feel the time is right. I am fighting with loving my husband and wanting us all to be a big happy family, but-- I fear, instead of my weeknds being spent baking cookies and going to the park, floating on our lake on the inner tubes next to our beautiful suburban home minutes from the mountains- I will end up spending all the fun times that I should be spending with our kids-- installing security cameras, double locking doors, closing all of the blinds at sundown for the feeling that she will be watching is very great ( as she did this in the past)I will make sure my dogs are in view at all times to assure they won't be shot at or called on that they are "vicious" as she has done in the past-- I fear that instead of barbecuing steaks and playing bad mitten in the back yard I will be out front having a police officer fill out an incident report, I have finally built my life where I wanted it to be- I bought the house we live in-- I want the dream I had in mind for myself-- I don't want every weekend to be something you would see on a daytime trashy talk show, that is not what I want, so we really are doing everything in our power to see that it doesn't happen- but in my gut I just know there will be continuous problems with her.The latest-Since she has reduced my H to only seeing his kids 1 hour a week at McD's in her town, she has decided since she is pissed that we are heading to court with both barrels loaded( figure of speech) that for the last 2 weeks she has not showed up with the kids to McD's- Last week even though his kids made sure every night on the phone that they would see dad that Thursday-- she pulled a no show-- we still don't know what she reason she gave the children that they couldn't see dad. This week he heard from his son that this Thursday they are playing their first baseball game of the season but she will not tell my H where the game is or what time- she won't even return calls anymore, doesn't she realize how this will make her in court?? And how are the kids coping with this behavior?? we know by voice tones on the phone that they are not coping very well. Anyway just needed to vent-- a little off topic from the phones!! We will buy them a new one we are trying to figure out how to make sure they have it and she doesn't have access to it-- I guess I will buy it-- then if it "breaks" again LOL! I will take her to small claims and have her pay me back--I don't make alot of money but sad as it is I will always make enough to shut this lady down- it has gone on to long now--EWWW! did I just refer to her as a lady?? My bad!

Kristilibons