Okay, I'm new to being a step-mom with partial custody. We, my DH and I, have very full work days so we've just let the BM have the two boys for the weeks and we had them on weekends. Things changed a month and a half ago due to the 10 year old failing 4th grade and BM not saying a word to us about it (she never told us about the report card or anything). We assumed everything was fine with the 10 year old until a letter arrived from the teacher. I'm a teacher so I flipped out to find out SS was failing 4th grade and we didn't know about it (from a teacher point of view it is frustrating that parents can't communicate on this level for the benefit of the chile). We took action and met with the teacher, found a babysitter to bring the SSs to school in the morning on our weeks, found after school activities/day care for the boys and totally flipped our worlds around to help both boys succeed in school. Things went very well right from the start and continue to go well, except for the BM. She is a very controlling person and has done everything in her power to interrupt our weeks with the boys or somehow make things difficult for us. She interrupted our dinner by driving a sick cat over (in 5-degree weather) for the boys to say goodbye to (standing outside), she has changed doctor appointments on us (during our weeks), she has taken one of the boys out of school for an eye appointment (a half hour appointment) for half of the day on our week and not told us where he was until 40 minutes past our pick up time. Now I find out BM changed a doctor's appointment, that is on our week, without telling us (this doctor's appointment is very important). There is a big meeting at school for SS because of his failing the 4th grade scheduled that BM says she can't make because she has other things going on. This is typical with her, not putting her children first. I'm so frustrated with her power hungry actions. I'm frustrated with the fact that she is unwilling to get along with DH and do what is best for the kids. She doesn't understand that she is only hurting the kids (I'm an adult and will work through this frustration).
The boys are great and we get along very well, my frustration is with BM and DH who has been fairly passive until we didn't know where SS was for 40 minutes last week.
Thank you for "listening" to me vent. I need to vent because we get the boys on Sunday and things will start all over again, with her interruptions and all. I needed to clear the air so I can be there for the boys (and not let my emotions run me when they are here), afterall they didn't ask to be put in this situation.