Turning the other cheek, can be a valuable practice, wish I had done so on a number of occasions. It makes it easier to move on w/ your own life in a positive way, and also getting in a few laughs watching BM make an ass of herself, going for broke. JMO.

mostly, we turn the other cheek, but let me tell you there are times when enough is enough and we just have to put our foot down. So, I guess it depends on the issues at hand.

For now, we would love to take BM1 to court because she is in contempt of court right now, and like to have our custody schedule and support straighten out, balanced so to say. But at the moment, we are in proceedings to get one started for SD with BM2, so we can't do much because of the financial load. So, if we get slammed by the court with BM2's support amount, then we will most diffidently take BM1 back to court and get her to conform to the order, so to say and balance the scale. Right now, we have let things go. No harm in it as long as it doesn't effect SS or SD, in my opinion.

These out of control exes love the drama, controversy and constant battle...it is a way for the exes to maintain contact with their ex. I suggest setting limits, rules, and boundaries so the crazy ex knows that you will not let her/him run wild and control/influence your new family's life. However, if you play their game it is only a reward for their primitive, childish and selfish behaviors. Let them make a fool out of themselves, let him/her waste their time, let them get all upset over the trivial things....My general philosophy is that once you give in (to the immature behaviors) it only rewards them and fuels them to continue their behavior...remember most unbalanced, under-developed people (like some of our beloved partner's exes) live for the fight--it is out decision to end it (for our sake, the sake of the relationship, and most importantly, the children's sake).

For the most part we turn the other cheek. Truthfully that is usually the best way to deal with it. Once she realizes we are not interested in fighting with her she'll let it go. Then there are times when what BM does affects the kids in a negative way--such as discussing adult issues with our 10 year old--that's when we usually fight back.

Our situation is different in that she only threatens to take us to court, etc. She's never actually went through with it.

Alisha

This is a toughie!

Our personal outlook is to try to turn the other cheek when it is a personal issue (ie, she insults us, yells and so on). I admit I said "try" for a reason...it's hard for us to fight the "put the shoe on the other foot" mentality

If she is in contempt or breaking the law though, I would say that you and your BF have every right to stand up for your rights. If she feels hurt...oh well, you're just protecting your best interests. Sometimes it takes a higher authority for the vindictive BM's to see that they do *NOT* actually get to get away with such behavior

Best wishes for you

We ignore personal insults..etc. with BM. And we dealt with any illigal activily swiftly and directly throuth the courts..we did not engage any verbal back & forth.

I took her to court for a restraining order over showing up at my home to cause a scene in front of my children..and keying my car..harassing phone calls. No discussion with her at all..just served a summons to appear.

Also served her with notification under the "protection of Property Act" so she could be fined for stepping on our property from that point on.

Any divorce related after initially no co-operation. and "I'll take you for everything threats and bogus affidavits etc."...everything by the book..legally documented.

She was so out of control.....we had to maintain our composure...or things would just spiral downhill....

We knew she was nuts...we just couldn't let her make us crazy too.

It's sooooooooooo hard to do sometimes......
I put my energy into making sure the court got the picture....indirect 'payback' if you will..for all the nasty comments, damage to the car, phone calls, lies, etc..same for hubby. She pretty much hung herself..and the more we didn't engage her the more the more she set herself up to look like a fool....

Pretend that their is a judge standing over judging you & your behaviour and reactions to her.....and that eveything you say & do can & will be used against you in a court of law.

* Karma *

Sometimes things will take care of themselves.....;)

PS
I wouldn't sit back though.....
I would be gathering evidence, preparing affidavits, (adding sections as required with substantiating documents/e-mails/voice messages &transcipts)...just like I was going to court next week.

SO that when the time is right...your good to go.
We didn't put up with anything from the start...your kind of into something where the boundaries are not strictly set in place and adhered to.
I think you need to figure out where the boudnaries are..in absolute..unquestionable..terms.
And do not put up with any overstepping of the boundaries once they are clear...from that point on....

DO what you must.... if that means court to set the boundaries in stone..go for it....
Make sure you have no culpability in the boundaries being fuzzy.

I'd say gather up your documents and put them together and see what kind of case you may or may not have....and see if it's worth pursuing and what it'll resovle.

You know we just really don't respond anymore. My ss mother is spineless. She mostly just gripes and trys to fight with us with thru letters. We just read them and have a good laugh and go on with our day.