First I want to say welcome

Secondly, don't worry so much about biomom. The things that you're worrying yourself with are things that never are going to change. Biomom is bitter, vindictive, angry, psycho...that's never going to change. What can change is your actions or reactions toward her. Don't do anything to encourage her behavior. When she says mean things about you and gets you feeling like you need to justify yourself to her, don't! This is exactly what she wants. I know it's hard but try to take the things that she says as exactly what they are - craziness. You can't change how crazy she is, but you can change how much you let it bother you.

Biomom used to email me constantly and I would let her and respond to most of her emails because I felt like if I could just convince her that she was being irrational or that her actions were unjustified, she'd stop or change the way she thinks about me. Trust me, she won't. No matter what you say to her or what progress she lets you think she's made, it's all just a game to her to see how far she can get you to let her suck you in. Don't play her games with her. Don't respond to her emails. If she calls you, say "bf's not around but I'll let him know you called" and hang up, or just let the machine pick up. If she calls back, ignore it. You have to take the power away from her or she will use it to make you her marionette and she will try as hard as she can to make your life miserable. Try to remember when she's being ridiculous what her motivation is. Is it that she's trying to do what's best for the kids? No. You don't need to reinforce that behavior. We can't change the way they think about us or how crazy they are, but we CAN set firm boundaries and let them know that we will not stand for that type of nonsense. Pick a strategy and stick with it...trust me, nothing will bother her more than knowing she can't "get to you" anymore. Everything she does is a form of her trying to exercise her "powers of manipulation", these women love to believe that they're the world's best manipulators...but the more you ignore her the more she'll begin to understand that you're not playing into her game.

I've been ignoring biomom's emails for weeks now. The first couple of weeks she would send two or three a day trying to bait me into an argument. Now she may send one or two a week as a desperate attempt to get me to talk to her. Nope, sorry! I've set my limits and I'm sticking to them. Understand that talking to this woman will not help your relationship with BF. Don't let her make you feel guilty for anything you've done. Her pain is not your problem.

If any of this comes across as brash or insensitive, I apologize. All of this advice is coming from a woman who let BM's actions get way out of hand. I spent far too long encouraging and "counseling" her because the nurturing and sensitive side of me thought that was the right thing to do. That is not the side that you need to let BM see, or she will see your weaknesses and exploit them.

Good luck, keep updating and let us know how everything goes

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

place..

How old is this woman?

young.. We are the same age.. Wow.. I would never do that.. to my ex.. if he can find someone to make him happy and she is good to our children GREAT..

Even when I was alone and lonely I would not call him.. Yuck.. He is the father of my children.. That is it..

I actually would love to deal with his GF all the time then him.. She is a nice person with a heart of gold.. And I know she loves my kids..

It will all work out believe me.. Keep ignoring her and she will soon get the hint and maybe even grow up.. LOL ( maybe )

Crazy vindictive BMs never grow up. My SD's mother sounds quite similar to the one you're dealing with and she's almost 53 years old!! It's not a question of maturity, it's a question of insanity, jealousy, insecurity, bitterness, hate - shall I go on?