Well, I have been still looking for a job but everything is so far away. The gas prices keep going up, and we are at least 30 miles from the city where most of the work just starts. Life around here is mostly focused on agricultural farms and manufacturing work which pretty much leaves me out. I can't drive a tractor and I know nothing about industry. I am really trained for the wrong vocation around here. It gets to be pretty frustrating, because available jobs are so few and far between, and I'm not local. So, you get turned down before you even step thru the door. And my SD's support plus all the ridiculous medical bills she is wracking up as a hypochondriac is really wearing on me.....I hesitate to even purchase my own medication that I truly do need for my high BP and heart arrythmias, as they are expensive. Overall, we are paying a minimum of $800 per month now, which is pretty sickening, and disheartening.
Before we moved here to GA, I was working, so I could at least offset what we paid out with my income, but now, I can't even do that. My hands are pretty much tied. The phone is starting to ring from the recruiters interested to interview me, but I hesitate because the drive is so long, knowing that it's over an hour.
And I can't make enough money to offset the gas costs, because wages here are so much lower. It's just mind boggling. I am trying to keep my chin up and just hit the pavement and will dress up and try to find an edge somewhere this week.
My SS finally did arrive late Saturday evening. Of course, we got nothing but BS excuses. It was nice to see him, but I wish that things were truthful. That would be something new. I am always waiting for another shoe to drop. I don't mean to seem down....maybe it's just that I'd like to lift my head up once in awhile and get ahead. It gets depressing. I don't see my SS very much, and now if I try to call him, I get nothing but my husband's ex, trying to chew me a new a-hole. So, the tears just well up. I would like to say, don't you care your Mom is such a **$$##@@!!**&^%$# that she's doing this to me? But, he didn't even apologize for missing my husband's BD even though I mentioned it twice.
So, I'm like HELLO. I could probably take something for a headache and sleep for a week and no one would notice. We go to court for my husband's speeding ticket Thursday so I would speculate that the ticket will probably be around $100 if he won't get the points on his license. It's always something. I wonder if any of the rest of you feel that you never get ahead. My mom wonders why I don't tell her when I am having problems and I have told her, because she can't fix things, and there's no use for her to worry. But you know you never hear from your kids (the adult ones) unless they need or want something. For instance, my SS didn't call until hours before he was on the road, when he was sick, so I had to go to the store, because he was nauseous. From what---I'll never get the real truth about that one. But he was 2 days late in calling and at least a day late in arriving.
Just once--I'd like the shoe to be on the other foot and the kids to find out what it's like to really need your Dad for something. And let them wonder and worry if he'll come thru for them. B/C over this weekend, I've come to the conclusion, that things with the kids, their attitudes, way of life, etc., will never change. And so, as parents, we will always be waiting around, because we are so desperate to the see the kids. And if you don't believe me, just look at your husband's face--you'll know exactly what I mean. And there's nothing you can do about it. What a day.