Stepson, 8, is making me insane
Long time lurker,first time poster.
My two stepsons live with us full time. SS1 isn't biologically my husbands child, but he is the half brother of DH's bio spawn (SS2), so we have custody of both kids.
SS1 is a damn perfect angel--Helpful, kind, considerate, polite, funny, cute and just a pleasure to be around.
SS2, my DH's biochild is................none of those things. He is insolent, dirty, pee's the bed, breaks everything he touches, eats with his mouth open, has a snotty attitude, has horrible manners, kicks people, shoots dirty looks at adults (mainly me!), abuses his brother, and on and on and on.
I despise this child. Dear, lord up above, I finally said it. After four years I have finally come to the conclusion that I can not stand this child. Everything about him just sends me over the edge and I wish with every fiber of my being the little shit would fall out his bedroom window one of these days (he has come close! He is CONSTANTLY sitting in the window pushing up against the screen).
He was recently diagnosed with ADHD (after three years of me begging, pleading and finally threatening to LEAVE my husband) and put on meds, which help him (somewhat) during the day at school. By the time he gets home, the meds have worn off and he's just a right asshole until bed time.
I'm over it. No, I'm over HIM.
His birth mom has an entire DSM of mental health issues, and I can see where this is headed with her faulty genetic code running through this child's brain chemistry.
My marriage is beginning to suffer, and quiet frankly, I believe I'm okay with it ending.
I just can't any more with this kid.
2nd dose after school usually
2nd dose after school usually works.
The child is 2? Have you guys
The child is 2?
Have you guys tried to be parents?
You know give the dirty child a bath. Put the kid in Pull ups over night. Put breakable items out of reach. Teach manners and social skills.
I mean anything that a parent should do with a 2 year old.
I don't think she's saying
I don't think she's saying the kids are 1 and 2...though that was confusing to me at first.
She's saying SS1 to mean OSS and SS2 to mean YSS...not realizing the age thing here. If you look at her title, you see the kid is 8.
OP...for future reference. When there's a number behind the abbreviation, that typically indicates age. So I have SD21, SS19, SD17...or I refer to them as OSD (Oldest Stepdaughter), SS, and YSD (Youngest)
I still say this isn't all on
I still say this isn't all on the kid.
The child is 8. There is a lot that can be done to shape this child's behavior.
If the kid is dirty make him take a bath.
If he's wetting the bed checking to make sure there are no medical issues and get some pull ups.
If he breaks things there's consequences be it having to do chores to help rebuy the item OR if they belonged to him "tough lucky buddy."
If he's being inappropriate at the table he gets sent away.
If he's rude parent's call him out on it.
It's an 8 year old not a teen. Be adults.
There's no law that says you
There's no law that says you have to live with a man who refuses to parent. Nor do you have to live with an abusive child. If you've tried for years to no avail to get dh to hear you and take consistent action, it's okay to remove yourself from a miserable situation... because if things continue as they have, your reward for staying will be wrinkles, weight gain and resentment. Glad you realize that ending it is a viable option for your own sanity. It doesn't make you a failure. Your dh is the one who is failing you and his child.
I can attest to the weight
I can attest to the weight gain. I think it's from all the stress.
I've always been slim (size 2-4) but ballooned up to a 10 or 12 when I first married DH and started having to deal with his kids and finances and all the other associated crap.
Down to just YSD now, money's gotten less tight...and I'm now an 8...leaning toward a 6. Thinking when YSD ages out in 2018 and CS stops completely, I'll get back to my normal self finally...