Children are naked daily at home
I am a SM, and am confused as to what I need to do in order to stop the madness. Neither child ages 12 who is a girl and 8 who is a boy wear clothing at moms home. Mom does not wear clothing at home either. Recently I found out that mom takes bathes together with the 8 year old boy. She also sleeps with him naked, they both sleep naked on a nightly basis. I don't know what to do? Please advise.
How do you know what happens
How do you know what happens in their home? How did you get this information? If you really think it's true, call CPS.
it has been no secret, the
it has been no secret, the kids confirmed it all.... And recently a ex-friend of mom contacted dad and told dad that mom takes baths with the 8 year old and that mom took a picture of her and the boy in the bath tub together. we filed an PFA order this summer regarding: mom sleeping with the son naked and nothing has happened.
He does not agree... and
He does not agree... and wants help.. I posted on this site because he needs help and I really don't know what to do to help him or his children.
Call the child abuse hotline
Call the child abuse hotline and report it. They are obligated to investigate.
If it doesn't stop call again.
When ex friend tells dad these things he should tell ex friend to call the child abuse hotline and report it. (In most places they will not tell the mom who called if the friend is worried about retaliation.
I will tell dad to call and
I will tell dad to call and report what is going on. I just don't know if the state will consider this abuse.
Ew. Well, there has been this
Ew. Well, there has been this photo circling on the internet "worst family photos" and the whole family is in the nude, mom, dad, kids of all ages, lying on top of one another. Some people actually do not think there is anything wrong with it. I think it could be very damaging, especially for a child reaching the age of sexual development. I think it falls under the category of sexual abuse by exhibitionism.
Do the kids say it bothers them? I think your husband ought to go for custody.
I don't know what a PFA is, will have to look that up. I know there was once a poster on here with two stepdaughters, and their mother was sleeping naked with them.
Protection from Abuse....
Protection from Abuse.... what makes me concerned is the fact that the 12 year old watches inappropriate content on the internet at her moms home. I would hate for lines (molestation) to get crossed between the children.
I personally watched a judge
I personally watched a judge take parental rights from a man who kept allowing his 12 year old daughter to watch pornography. In the courtroom, she ordered the father's rights suspended, no contact, and the child to undergo an evaluation at our county's facility for child victims of sexual abuse.
She didn't say so, but you could tell the judge was suspecting him of abusing her and that he had sexual motives of his own for allowing her to watch this stuff.
That's one of the worst
That's one of the worst things I've heard in a while. Really glad that Judge took a stand!
A prominent Christian member of the community that SS goes to school in shot himself. Found out he had been raping his adopted daughter who is 13. I NEVER would have guessed that's what was going on.
The guy in your comment sounds worse.
It is tricky as nudity is not
It is tricky as nudity is not inherently wrong, it is just unusual in most families. There could though be something more going on. What does BM say when your so has asked her about it?
I don't know if being a
I don't know if being a nudist is abusive but it's definitely odd to me anyway. I cant even walk around bra-less w/out my sons clearing the room. If dad is really concerned then he needs to take action. Is this all new or was this behavior going on when DH was living in the home too? Was he a nudist as well?
I can't go braless in front
I can't go braless in front of SS. It freaks me out. He's a 16 yo boy and I remember being 16.
The behavior was not present
The behavior was not present when they were together. In the last three years mom has changed a lot in regards to her parenting. Before dad and I were together he would make his kids put clothes on when he would go over to moms house. He has objected in this practice from the beginning, she doesn't care and states that something is wrong with him for not wanting the children to be naked. my biggest problem is that mom and son are sleeping in the same bed together, naked, every night. And, mom taking a bath with her 8 year old son. BM is defensive and does not care what dad wants for the children.
I guess the question is if
I guess the question is if mom is insisting that the kids be nudists in dad's home? What she does in her home (barring abuse) is her business. I am not comfortable with the nudist lifestyle but cannot support an argument against it just because it's "weird" or "different". That line of thinking is what got Jews murdered for the last couple thousand years.
Is there anything to suggest actual abuse in mom's home?
So you're saying that in 3
So you're saying that in 3 years time BM and the children went from civilized clothing wearing people to nudists? I'm having a hard time imagining a nine year old girl who is on the verge of puberty suddenly switching to being completely nudist, especially in front of her little brother. I know my own kids wouldn't have gone for it, at least my daughter anyway, though my younger boys would have happily ran around naked LOL.
Consider that DH may be concealing some of the truth from you. They may have been a family of nudists and now he's not proud of it and denying it. I don't know if there's a solution to this besides DH aggressively getting social services and the courts involved. But if it does come out that he was in on this lifestyle too then he'll look like quite the hypocrite.
It's not your children, stay
It's not your children, stay out of it, you have no say what goes on in BM's house. How would you like it if she starts telling you what to do in your house? This is for the father to deal with.
So what if they are nudest, nothing to do with you but I would talk to the boy and say he's to old to be bathing and sleeping with BM, he's turning into a man and should be doing these things on his own. - again this is for their father to handle.
Thank you for your comments.
Thank you for your comments. But, I am on this site and actually posted because the dad doesn't know what to do and I wanted to get advise from other individuals so I can support him. This isn't about me but him and his children.
A few years ago, a Family
A few years ago, a Family reunion was held at a vacation house, 18 people staying in it (we were at a RV park, thank God!) anyway, sgs8 (at the time) for whatever reason decided to strip down naked and went to shoot pool in the game room with his uncle. Half of us thought nothing of it, but the in-laws from another state, were FREAKING OUT! I poked my head in the door and said "hey, (sgk8's name) are you comfortable?" he said "sure" and took his shot. I was worried about the kid being scared from the ones freaking out. That was before I knew their church requires them to wear certain underwear!
That uncle he was playing pool with,S-SIL, now has 2 kids sgs10,sgd7 and they have a pool in their back yard with a 6ft solid fence on both sides, no fence from the house behind but it's his mothers house, he's a stay at home dad and they swim naked, dad believes noone should be ashamed or offended by the human body!
My point is, no chance in H _ L L I would ever do it, I won't go naked accross the hall from the bathroom to my bedroom even when no one else is here! But, I personally would wonder why my BS would even notice if I wasn't wearing a bra! (when he did still live here).
But if people want to or allow their kids to run naked in their own homes or private yard, so be it. I have heard of MANY people co-sleeping, again personally No EFFING WAY! My kids NEVER slept with me, not even at at day two,three, or four. Never. Some people think it's a good thing.
As for the 2 together, nude and sleeping together, does seem really off. Are the kids being FORCED to be naked? Or Forced to sleep with their BM? Or are they fine with it? I'd be more concerned if either of them express discomfort with the idea. If they have said something,go by that. If not, casually bring it up and see how they feel about it.
Child Services may not get involved even if reproted, they may see it as a life style choice unless the kids are being forced.
Being a nudist in your own
Being a nudist in your own home or at a nudist facility is one thing. Sleeping nude wth your child is another. Being nude in a public place may get you arrested. Your lifestyle choice can have consequences.
I'm just imagining how fun
I'm just imagining how fun pick up and drop offs must be. "Oh hi BM, would you mind putting a robe on when answering the door?" "Hey kids we're going to the car now can you please put on some clothes?" FedEx and Pizza delivery guys must love going to that house. Not to mention the neighbors...wow
The part that is terrifying
The part that is terrifying is that the children have been seen naked through video chat by at least one of moms boyfriends. The boyfriend told BD after BM and the boyfriend broke up.