How do I connect
Forums:
Ok. Background. My H and I met just as his divorce was finalized. We dated for two years before making he proposed. My three sons, 32, 31, and 26 like H and I Thought his 2 adult daughters, 27 and 24 liked me. To my face they have been ok but at rehearsal dinner for wedding they were rude and evidently said some things about me and my family in front of H. H put them in their place and they chose to leave that night and did not come to the wedding. It has been a month and they are still not talking to either of us.
Is this irreparable?
Go on with your life. Do not
Go on with your life. Do not chase them. Adult daughters are the worst. Read the posts on the Adult stepchildren forums.
I have three adult SD's. They are all horrible. I have not seen any of them in five years. Married for ten years now. It is sad not to have the blended family we thought it could be. But his daughters are what they are. I cannot change them.
Look up the article on disengagement.
Be happy. Congratulations on your marriage.
Ughhhh...your honeymoon was
Ughhhh...your honeymoon was over even before you had one, huh? Though I know it is hard to find humor in this situation, try to....
Mine did the same thing, oddly enough...not at the wedding...but after we bought a home together a year later. Initially, I found them quite charming (actually enjoyed their company), but noticed they were highly judgmental and gossipy about many others in their lives...hated his EX before me terribly etc... Also, I was told by all of them they were more than they were actually, which I eventually had to figure out for myself...just silly lies.
We dated two years and were together another before we bought our home, and it was like a light switch....They instantly despised everything about me, regardless of all I had done for them prior. All of a sudden, I was the enemy. it took me another year or two to realize they did not want me around, period. It would not have mattered what I did, how I did it, or even who I was...they cannot allow daddeeee to have another woman in his life who gets his time, support and attention...It is that simple to me.
At least your husband put them in their place, what a time to pick to show your true colors.... But, with 80% of the SD's not liking the step mothers the liklihood of success for most of us is about 20%, regardless if you are a great or horrible person.
Good luck, prepare yourself...for what you cannot control and welcome to the world of step fun....fun...fun...
Now that you know how they
Now that you know how they really feel about you, why would you want to connect with them?
Don't chase them, they will just use that to their advantage.
Your husband's relationship with them is his business, I would not worry myself with repairing that. The 3 of them can do that on their own... or not.
Concentrate on your new marriage and your life with your husband. If his kids don't want to be a part of your lives, so be it, that's their choice. Perhaps, one day they will grow up.
Be glad that your husband put them in their place for disrespecting you, a lot of them don't.
What has your husband said about this month of no contact? Is he sorry he said anything to them? Has he tried to contact them?
Ya, there's something coming
Ya, there's something coming down the pike! And I'll bet Granny is right on. All of a sudden, after all of that time, and they finally accept that you are a permanent fixture in their lives? Something is just not right, and it smells of money.
Heh heh and who is the one
Heh heh and who is the one working right now? StepAside. Oh, that would be a funny request. "Gosh, you're asking me to pay for your college, when you're in your 30's and I am not blood? I mean, you said so yourself HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
You have some serious slow
You have some serious slow learners on your hand SA, dang 24 years and they finally get it.....wow, brain transplants perhaps? Electrical therapy? Or.. just in need of money?
CRAZY....
Did you ask DH what happened
Did you ask DH what happened to make his mother and daughters come to this realization? And what is it his mother expected him to do with his life before? Stay single forever? Why was it any issue to her? After 24 years your prayers have been answered? Hallelujah!!! As if you should have a reunion now....."now that you realized I am not going away, how about we renew our vows and have a big party!!!!!" How can he expect you to do anything but never want to see these people again?
It absolutely amazes me to no
It absolutely amazes me to no avail how much SMs are blamed for their husband's actions. It is beyond belief!! They'll believe the rumor mill on BM's side right off the bat every time without even checking with DH, even tho. a simple, "What happened with that, dad?" would have easily cleared up any mystery for them.