I am the bad guy
Isn't it always?
Dh gave me hell for being disengaged from his family at the football game. They slept over and I had to spend dinner and breakfast. Was I rude? Probably. Was I anxiety ridden the whole time? Yes. I don't like conflict. In hindsight I should smiled and engaged.
So. Stupid me told him I did not his father's comment about the birthday card from his daughter.
I got told that the comment was not directed to me and " the whole world doesn't revolve around you."
So I shot back that I READ the card and was confused about her comment going to the UK with her father, esp as I have been actively discussing a trip.
So I get blown away being told" why can't we can all go together.....why not have B join us? When are you going to put this down. It is old. ". (( I have not laid eyes on them in over six years.))
He tells me that I am unkind and "you are not the victim here." I tell him he can engage anyway he wants with his daughters. "But it is not the same". "You need to stop running from every slight you ever get..."
So in hindsight I should have kept my mouth shut.
Blows me away.
I asked him if the older daughter has started paying her college loan of 25 dollars a month yet. The one he cosigned and she actually took back her first payment and kept him chased by the collectors.
No....but this is one of his daughters that I am to welcome.
Quite honestly I feel such anxiety and uneasiness being around him or his family.
And what is it that you get
And what is it that you get from being married to him?
Nothing. I know. However I
Nothing. I know. However I have a pack of elderly dogs I am sure he would try to split up and I love my dogs dearly. Crazy me will stay married until they pass. That really is my intention. I don't like conflict.
Seriously? Then I got
Seriously? Then I got nothin'.
If you said hello and goodbye
If you said hello and goodbye without using any f words you did enough.
I can tell you from
I can tell you from experience, it is not you. But you, cannot change this situation-alone. Until then, you need to completely stop everything to protect your own sanity.
I have a fabulous husband in every other way. We are so much alike (except for being cowardly with these people), it is scary. The only way I can stay married to him is to stay away from this crazy situation, since he is the only one who can fix it and will not, obviously.
If I have to be around them and take their abuse, along with his excuses for their highly inappropriate rude, crude comments, I would rather not be married to him and we would divorce too.
"If I have to be around them
"If I have to be around them and take their abuse, along with his excuses for their highly inappropriate rude, crude comments, I would rather not be married to him and we would divorce too."
Thank you for making me feel like I am not alone. I have spent hours pouring over these posts to find that I am not alone. I went to HS with the BM, raised her kids who are now 21 and 26. She is a horrible, evil lying person. Her kids are now no different. I have spend the last 15 years taking the blame for their behavior and listening to excuse after excuse from my husband who has NO balls to tell these kids that they should have respect for me. These kids are hateful and always have been. They continue to be brainwashed by their mother even getting in my DH head this past weekend to the point he told me that I bore some responsibility. I cannot stand my skids, I want nothing to do with them. They are hateful human beings who need a good ol' fashioned ass whooping!!! I am tired of the constant battle with them or that the SD only comes at Christmas or her birthday.
anyway, thank you for your words.
You are justified for feeling
You are justified for feeling like you do but it appears it will be hard to convince your DH of it. He would rather argue with you than confront SD and FIL about their inappropriate behavior. So why even waste time arguing with him? Just say, "No, I'm not going to the UK with SD." End of conversation. Or, "The card was totally inappropriate for a daughter to send to her Father. Your Father was out of line." Period. Tell your DH when he is willing to discuss these issues with you reasonably and non-accusatory, you will listen. Otherwise he can visit and communicate with his family without you.
I would play the equity life
I would play the equity life partner veto card on your UK vacation being usurped by the StepSpawn.... and keep rubbing DH's nose in the stench of his useless spawn's loan default.
Yes, he is looking for any
Yes, he is looking for any opening regarding including his dd on vacation. You gave him the opening to start the conversation regarding including her when you gave your opinion about what she wrote. As sandyde stated, just say no!" In fact put the thought of her going with you out of your head, do not give it space in your head, because by thinking about it, you give it the power of intention. Once you say no, you can soften it by saying it is time to recharge your marriage, vacationing with just him should do the trick.