11year old wild and bm says we are crazy

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:jawdrop: ok here we go. Sd is 11 just turned 11 a few weeks ago.
She wears make up that a grown women would foundation all the way to eye liner
She has all the social media accounts. Instagram Facebook snapchat
She has a cell phone
Her mom has no rules what so ever. When she gets off the bus no one is home she hops on her bike and runs the city wild.

Last weekend we went theu her phone like we do every time she comes over. ( a few months ago we caught her posting very inappropriate pictures online), well we found out she was talking to two grown men. Both had beards and seemed to be in there mid 20s. BM says oh it's her cousins, and that we have no right to go thru her phone and if we are going to she will just keep it with her on the weekends we have her and not send it. We also found a text where some one asked SD where she lived she replied with her address and who is this!!! She gave her address to where she was home alone after school to a stranger!!!

Well of course last night I go thru it to check on her, and she had deleted all text, unsaved all passwords, right before we picked her up.

So here we are no way to see what's going on, worried to death because her mom doesn't check her phone but teaches her to delete it all before we can see it. She didn't delete her call logs, we see where she pranked called 911 a few times, then a number that has no name saved to it has a bunch of calls back and fourth. Do a little bit of research ( type number in Facebook) a man in his 60s who been arrest many many times who lives in the same town she does.

What can we do? We already tried for custody once after BM was drinking and driving with her in the car, let some guy who already touched a 12 year old live with them

BM will not coparent we are horrible people a child that age needs privacy is what she thinks and then teachers her child to delete all texts and lock all social media accounts. At this point I am wondering should her BF download a tracking app on her phone.

I hate stuff like this- it

I hate stuff like this- it makes my blood boil esp when you see the aftermath

If you are going to do anything here you need to have lots of evidence available.
So screen shots of the numbers on her phone will the number of calls back and forth logged, screen shots of all the numbers as they are looked up and who they belong too.
Then emails and texts to biomom saying things like 'we are very concerned about this and I am sure you are too. Sd has it seems being talking to xxx person who is xxx age. We really need to make an effort both ends to ensure she is safe and well' - all of this stuff must be on your partner accounts. He must have the screen shots and the emails. He needs to compile a whole entire folder of biomom threatening him and saying he is crazy and of the people she is talking to. Do you still have evidence of the pictures too?

I would also deffo have a tracker in the phone if you can. This child is an assault waiting to happen

Is there any worth to speak to her at all about her behaviour? Finding out why she is talking to these men and thinks it's okay? Is this something her mom has told her is okay? It's prob a Hail Mary at this stage doing that

I think they key thing here if you are going to do anything is get the evidence and call child protective services. You need enough evidence to out do a golden uterus so you guys will need a lot

It isn't hard to load a

It isn't hard to load a tracking app and actually recover deleted pics/texts from up to 2 weeks ago.

It sounds like your DH is concerned and wanting to do the right thing, to me, by monitoring her social media and cell interactions. So, I would support him. There are apps, depending on the phone, that can be loaded and record without being detected. I would also load a gps tracker.

I think BM is a dumb*ss. A freaking 11 year old should not have a snap/fb account. And she shouldn't be chatting with grown men. This is a serious safety concern. I would record everything. She's 11, she's not entitled to online privacy.

Links or recommendations?

Totheend, Indigo, I am sorry,

Totheend, Indigo, I am sorry, just seeing this.

Wondershare Dr. Fone for will retrieve last 2 weeks. There are options to install and continue to monitor. Here's a link to a review: http://www.bestphonespy.com/ The review explains what each does and for what system (hopefully, not a windows phone.)

For gps, we use a free app called Life 360. You install and send a request to whomever. You can see everyone in your circle so if you wanted stealth mode, accept and install on kid's phone. Then, on kid's phone, disable notifications and delete the app icon. There are plenty of apps for gps so look around. Some of the phone spy programs do gps as well.

Give DH the information and hope for the best.

Great referrals. I'm going to

Great referrals. I'm going to bookmark this until I can try some of them. It's a constant issue.

I don't have to worry about SGD12's phone anymore ... her father got mad at her and threw it in the toilet.

Every time we talk to sd she

Every time we talk to sd she fake crys and says she didn't know. If we bring it up to bm she says we won't see sd again.

He cares but he is scared if he pushed it to much we won't ever see her again.

If he doesn't push he might

If he doesn't push he might never see her again for horrible reasons! Check out news articles about the Kik app! It's scary!!!

I agree that this effort

I agree that this effort needt to be led by DH, not you, because if it goes badly (like his precious snowflake deciding to live with BM), YOU will be blamed.

So my advice to your DH is: no cell phone. He should help her "loose" it, repeatedly. BM will get tired of buying new ones.

If the cell phone is putting her in danger it needs to go. Get rid of her access to the internet when she's at your house.

It's ridiculous for a child

It's ridiculous for a child to have a phone with such capacity. My 17 yr old son does not have an iphone and will not until he can buy it and pay the bill himself. All the phones I've bought my kids are cheapies, with the capacity to call and text only.

As many say on this board, "you can't care more than their parents." DH is the one who has to set the boundaries with his daughter and deal with BM. DH should go through her phone, you should not be doing any snooping on her phone.

BM is "threatening" to make the phone stay with her on the weekends. Good, less time for the 11yr old to chat with older men.

Figure out which police

Figure out which police department she called and have them send an officer out to talk to her about what can happen to her for falsely calling 911.

BM doesn't decide if he sees

BM doesn't decide if he sees her again, so he needs to stop being intimidated by her. I'd run it by CPS, personally - though coming from the other parent, they might be skeptical.

Poor kid. She's going to be pregnant at 14 by a 25-year-old.

Definitely save everything and gather evidence.. What happened when you went to court for custody? They wouldn't even give DH 50/50? Can he talk to the schools? They most likely share many concerns.

Did you tell the police about

Did you tell the police about it? It's really creepy when a 11 yearl old communicatues with 60 year old unknown man.

I'm using mSpy app to look after my daughter's messages, calls and location. Have a look at it https://mspylite.com/iphone-tracker/how-to-spy-on-iphone-without-having-... if you're interested to capture the evidence.

Whoa! It really is creepy, I

Whoa! It really is creepy, I can't find the proper word to dicribe it... But if you want to save your dauther you need to talk to her or you can spy on her phone. It may sound a bit weird, but I know that you can do it without access to her phone, well come on, on https://topspying.com/spy-on-a-cell-phone-without-accessing-it/ you'll know how to do it, she's your dauther

IMHO your DH has to get the

IMHO your DH has to get the authorities fully involved. If he doesn't his daughter will be the tragic victim of sexual predation, and worse, the predators will move on to destroy the lives of more kids.

My ILs chose not to press charges against my SS's SpermIdiot for statutory rape. He had underage victims before my wife and he had more victims after my wife. All because none of the parents of these teen girls had the stones to take that POS out and put his ass in prison.

My DW was 16 when SS was born. The Spermidiot was 23. Several sets of parents of underage girls could have solved the problem that the POS Spermidiot represents. By doing so they may have saved 4 kids from being cursed with his shallow and polluted gene pool contribution.

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11year old wild and bm says we are crazy