"I will always take her side"
My husband said this to me when talking about SD. He was referring to an incident the previous day where I had yelled at her because she had pulled on my seatbelt while driving, so much so that I had jolted and my foot had come off the accelerator and the belt actually hurt my 16 week pregnant belly. I had yelled her name as it happened to get her to release the belt and he turned to me and said "there is no need to talk to her like that". No "are you ok" or similar.
I shouldn't be surprised when he said to me that he will always take her side, it's the usual occurrence in our house. If I discipline her in any way his response is to interrogate me and yell at me for daring to tell her not to do something. Once he even told me I need to show her some respect. I feel as though this being my house I should be able to tell any person in my home who is disrespecting the rules of the house not to do so.
I'm to the point where I don't want to be here when she is around. We have a 12 month old together and a second on the way. I'm worried that the kind of favouritism he shows her will eventually be evident to our kids and they will start to resent her like me.
I don't talk to anyone about this because I hate to make my husband seem "bad" or similar to other people and I'm to the point where I don't know whether I am in the wrong because I am constantly told so by him.
Thank you for letting me vent - I feel a bit lighter already!
I can't believe this wasn't
I can't believe this wasn't happening before you got pregnant the first time. Why did you have kids with a guy who places his kid as your superior?
The question is no different
The question is no different than the why did husbands have kids with/marry types of BMs questions that are posted here all the time.
I'm also wondering why anyone would continue to have kids with and remain with a man who treats her this way.
I don't see a response, but I
I don't see a response, but I agree - nobody should ever mess with the driver, they could have been in a serious accident. Also, it seems the SD was strong enough to pull that little stunt, so she can't be that young. Either way, that situation was unacceptable.
Counseling so he can hear
Counseling so he can hear what a dick he's being from a pro and neutral person.
Go before this gets worse. Go alone if you gave to. Counselors are used to seeing the nice ppl who are trying to cope with the jerks in their lives who don't believe they need counseling.
Maybe you will learn if you even want to be in this for the long term. You wouldn't b the first mom raising two kids alone. With child support. Hum, maybe thoughts of more child support pmts would get his attn.
Amen Sue. I was waiting for
Amen Sue. I was waiting for her to say he's perrrfect in every wayyyy. (Except his kid hates her and he puts his first kid before her and his other children.)
While I agree with most of
While I agree with most of this, SD sounds pretty awful that she would pull the seatbelt that hard - I really can't see any nice or innocent explanation for that. They're both wrong.
I'm to the point where I
I'm to the point where I don't want to be here when she is around.
You do realize that it's because of the way your HUSBAND acts when she is around that you feel this way, right? You are resenting the girl because of your husband, he is the one you should resent. He is where the problem lies.
Find a good counselor and get some marriage counseling. Whether it be an intact family or a blended family, this dynamic (where a kid comes first) doesn't work. Your husband needs to be shown that, and you need to be shown how to stand up for yourself and your marriage.
This is no way to live. Time
This is no way to live. Time for a change. Hope things get better for you once you have made some changes.
I would have slammed on the
I would have slammed on the brakes right then and there and refuse to continue driving until he moved into the back seat along with his daughter.
That was a very stupid and dangerous move on her part. I don't care who you are to me-mess with me while driving and you will regret it.
Your SD acts the way she does because she knows Daddy will do nothing about it.
So he's just as big of a douche canoe as his daughter.
Take separate cars if possible or make him drive and she can sit up front with Dad where he can keep a better eye on her.
If my stepkids pulled that nonesense-my arm would have went flying into the backseat.
My DH sided with his adult
My DH sided with his adult daughter (SD21) who didn't live with us, and condoned her rude behavior towards me ONCE! After not "getting it" I asked him and his son16 to leave. I refused to be in a marriage where I was considered a nusence and some princess entitled rude bitch was given wife status..... No way.
We are in counselling living separately. It's not ideal and everyday I still question if it's worth it. We married in April this year. Stop tolerating his poor bahavior towards uou... He will continue what you allow. He is allowing his kid to be rude and he is supporting her wishes and not yours. It will continue if you don't put a stop to it. Be prepared to walk as these DHs are so used to having their o n way that they refuse to back down. Fine... Why stay in a marriage where you have to lose who you are in order to stay married??? Not me.
Maybe it is because I was a
Maybe it is because I was a single person with a great fulfilled life - but I have never felt a requirement to accept the unacceptable.
Disgusting obnoxious people can eff off as far as I am concerned. I do not care how they may be related to me step or otherwise.