SD11 and her FB account
I'm new here and have been stalking this site for a while now lol. This is one of the many many problems in my blended family, I'm sure I will be posting more and would love to have some insight from you all:
I received a Facebook friend request from SD11. After looking at her profile I realized she claims to be 18 and she has her cell phone number set as public. This scares me and apparently it scares ONLY me, her bm and dh act like it's no big deal. I brought the ph# issue up to my husband and he "tried" to fix it but I guess he got side tracked and never followed thru on that(as usual). Her mom isn't on her fb page and dh doesn't monitor her page either. I don't even think he realizes she claims to be 18. I feel this is poor parenting and I don't want to say much about it because I already feel like a nag lately. (Just had a baby and nobody is helping me out with household obligations, etc)
Should I just mind my own business? He already gives his kids adult status in the home, they are SD11, SS13. I can't help but be a little upset though because he busts my bio son's (from previous) butt for lying yet his daughter can lie about her age on fb and he's ok with it. Advice???
And before anyone comes down on me for letting DH spank my bio son, he's the only father figure my son has ever had. Bio sons father has been completely out of the picture and I was single mom for 5 and 1/2 years, so I do allow him to assist me with discipline, but that all could possibly change soon, due to the double standards between kids
You can report the account
You can report the account anonymously.
When Facebook says users must be over the age of 13, it is a requirement NOT a recommendation. This is because of the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act of 1998 (COPPA). COPPA is a United States federal law, which aims to give parents control over what information is collected from their children online.
BioHo called my DH and pitched a fit when I did not accept PigPen's (then 12) FakeBook friend request. I said to DH, "You tell that f*cking c*nt that 1) my FB page contains content that is NOT APPROPRIATE for a 12 year old and I am not, repeat NOT, about to limit my postings to G ratings for one person. 2) PigPen is UNDERAGE. The FB age limit is THIRTEEN, so he has been on there ILLEGALLY for 3 years. And 3) I wouldn't care if he was 92. NO ONE TELLS ME WHO TO ACCEPT AS A FB FRIEND."
I probably should remove her.
I probably should remove her.
For the record, he does let
For the record, he does let them watch R rated movies....anything his children want to do, they get to do! Guilty parenting much?? It ticks me off to no end! They see nothing wrong with it....even stupidly came to me to ask if my BS8 could watch American Horror Story with them....I looked at SS and SD like they lost their damn minds if they think my child is going to be corrupted!
I'm not saying that they
I'm not saying that they don't but just because my child hears bad things in school doesn't mean I'm going to condone it and give him permission to hear or see it in this house. If you only knew the entire situation about his lack of parenting for his kids but is quick to try to parent my child and dole out the discipline you wouldn't be ok with it.
As I said in my post that I
As I said in my post that I was changing that. I thought my husband would genuinely treat my bio like his own and I'm clearly seeing that he is not. That was my mistake for trusting him there and I'm not allowing it any longer.
I'm not going to slack on my
I'm not going to slack on my parenting to my bio son because he doesn't parent his kids. He expects nothing more than the bare minimum from his kids....doesn't even make them do their homework...I'm the one that makes them do it. Why should I lower my expectations for my son to suit my sk's?? No. It's already been settled that as of now I will parent my own and he can parent his own and hopefully by the time the baby is old enough dh will see where he went wrong and come to his senses in the parenting dept LOL
I completely agree!
I completely agree!
BM pays for the phone, and
BM pays for the phone, and gives her all access to the internet. No monitoring going on whatsoever. SD was quick to let me know after she got it that BM said nobody was allowed to take phone away from her except DH or BM....so that was basically directed at me. DH still never got onto her for saying it so rudely to me.
Children need to have a
Children need to have a childhood. Helping them break the rules and lie (please, no offense intended) sets a precedence. When does that stop?
Allowing a child to lie about his/her age can lead to other things. That's how PigPen (then 12) met a 21yo female who thought he was 18. Which led to him stealing BioHo's car and driving 300 MILES before he got lost and called 'Ho. If 'Ho had monitored his account and restricted his computer/cell access, this would never have happened. My DH was on fakebook MAYBE 3-4 times a year and had no idea about age restrictions or the kid's fake age (until I told him).
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We don't pay for it. BM
We don't pay for it. BM does. He told his children upon my prompting that they aren't allowed to have passcodes on their phones when they are under our roof. SD wouldn't even give us her FB password when DH was oh so poorly trying to delete the phone# from the profile. She took phone from him and logged in herself. SS wont even let DH touch his cell phone, muchless give him any passwords. He won't even allow his parents on his FB page. Smh....
I will tell you my
I will tell you my experience. SD was 14 pretending to be 19 on social media. Boobs hanging practically out in every picture. BM was a friend/follower. DH doesn't do online.
I told him and asked him to make BM aware. Nothing changed. I told him again and let him know I was installing a keylogger on the computer. Nothing happened except I learned a few things from the keylogger.
Fast forward to just past her 16th birthday...she is pregnant and has her first baby while she is 16.
Then again, I'm not totally
:jawdrop:
Then again, I'm not totally surprised. PigPen turned 13 a few weeks ago. He'll probably be a father by the time he's 16.
Notify FB that she is 11.
Notify FB that she is 11. They will dump her account.
Masterfully played Sally.
Masterfully played Sally. Masterfully played. }:)
I guess I feel obligated to
I guess I feel obligated to keep her safe and to keep her innocence as long as I can. Idk. I think kids grow up too fast these days. Like when I was 11 I still played with dolls and rode my bike outside and climbed trees, used my imagination. My SD is all about her cell phone and getting her eyebrows waxed (bm takes her..not me), when we are visiting with friends she won't go hang with the other kids, she stays right there with the adults and tries to give her input in whatever conversation is going on...she has no desire to be a kid and wants to be grown up...it's just sad to me. But I guess I should use the "not my kid not my problem aporoach"? I haven't been a SM very long so I'm just rolling with the punches here and trying to figure it all out.
If I shut it down she will
If I shut it down she will just make another one I'm sure. Dh and Bm are letting their kids grow up way too soon....I hope my 2 bio kids stay kids for as long as they can.
Funny how everyone is talking
Funny how everyone is talking about facebook and kids. The kids aren't on facebook anymore, they are on instagram. And there is no age limit on instagram. Here's the thing. You can be all legalistic with the age thing, but realize it's just a way for fb to cover their ass if something should happen. My kids have fb because we homeschool and it allowed them to communicate with kids that they didn't get to see all the time. And you know what? I know everything that's going on in their lives because their communication is right there. I have all passwords, I can see which kids' parents don't check their stuff because of how they act online. I know a lot about kids and which ones I need to limit their time with. My kids both got gifted used iPhones this year but don't have phone service. What's annoying is kids who are attached to their phones who can't even socialize irl because they are texting and crap. Adults are doing it, too. Even in homeschooling circles; my kids will sit there, the only one at a table not doing something on their phones. It's really sad. But the age thing...they have to lie in order to set the account up.