I just can't seem to let this go
I am thankful for Steptalk because I have no one else that I can share my stories. Maybe writing this one down will help me get over it. I am still "angry" after 3 weeks.
About 3 weeks ago, my SD20 contacted her daddy dearest about her upcoming birthday...at that time it was 5 weeks away. She has only seen us a handful of times...less than 8 this calendar year and less than that the 2 previous years. She has refused to come and get her Christmas presents or visit at Christmas, but for some reason the last couple of years she has organized her birthday with his family. So this year she informs him that what he can get her this year is the tabs for her car and pay for her license renewal.
Now this may not sound all that unreasonable...but but but..... both of our vehicles are in my name for a couple of reasons. On my birthday in July I had both registrations and my licence renewal PLUS the water bill in excess of $200 was due the exact same day. I told him that was a bit of a problem and he basically denied me extra help with those added household bills. So out of my pocket on my birthday was over $500.
Now I understand he provides money on a weekly basis for household bills, but these are not the regular bills. I was not given any extra for those. It totally irks me that princess can just inform him what she is getting and how much...but I can't get help in covering the registration even for the car he exclusively drives. It is just plain WRONG.
The argument is over. He thinks I am done with it, but I am still stewing. He knows that next July the registrations are his...both of them. And I won't forget. But that doesn't fix the fact that I am here all the time and respectful... I feel like I deserve automatic better treatment that this.
It's simple. Back in July he
It's simple.
Back in July he didn't want to help you pay the extra expenses. He didn't want to dip into his money, and he knew you would cover it.
But when his Princess calls, he DOES want to help her. After all, he's Daddy.
I'd be SOOOOOOO pissed.
I had a similar situation
I had a similar situation situation... Too long a story to say..
DH is now living elsewhere. I couldn't continue to be ok with how I was treated over how he treated his daughter (SD21)....
I told him to marry her instead. I'm done!
Good luck.
That is exactly what I'm
That is exactly what I'm afraid of. He tells people how when she was 14-15 that strangers would mistake her for his wife. I think he is proud that she looked old or he looked young. I think that her body language was acting like she was his wife. She doesn't know her place. And I doubt she ever will. Scary place. I feel your pain.
It seriously hurts me because
It seriously hurts me because she continues to hurt him and my mother in law, but no one will stand up to her. It is ridiculous.
My argument??? Why bother? I
My argument??? Why bother? I replace said husband with a new and improved model!!
Next... I say!
This decision was met with
This decision was met with quite great opposition. I like your idea and may start an excel document of my own. I know it would be skewed... I just resent being treated like a second class person. At least I treat him with respect on a daily basis...she can't bother to do that once a month most of the time.
"but I can't get help in
"but I can't get help in covering the registration even for the car he exclusively drives". Don't ever pay for his car or his registration or anything of his. Sorry if that sounds blunt and not very romantic. When skids are involved, in my opinion, there has to be a business/financial relationship. If he wants to go broke spoiling the princess, that's on him. FDH would also do the same with his princess. We keep everything separate and I insist on it that way. I am better able to say No to my own kids than he is. I learned a long time ago that paying for a man meant that I was paying for him to stay with me (I think I felt that he would not love me if I didn't pay him to). I was much younger and have since realized that a guy needs to love me for ME and not for the money I can give him.
I'm pretty sure that for my
I'm pretty sure that for my birthday I want my car registration. That sounds great. I can use the extra money to splurge on me. No question that he will be paying for his. My new plan. And I didn't make her gift easy on him at all. Right up to the meal out I let him know my opinion. He knows I never argue unless I am sure that I am 100% right. No point in wasting my effort.
this happened to me when dh
this happened to me when dh told me that he had to go easy with anniversary gift because of family emergency bills. dh is always shelling out for his worthless family who never worked for anything. so anniversary comes around and he gives 500 dollars to sd to pay for her sports equipment. otoh i get a handful of cheap trinkets of less than 100 dollars.
now dh tells me again that we have to go easy on christmas because of family bills yet birthday is coming up for one sd. i can see dh getting crazy again and spending hundreds of dollars on her. thank goodness i like to treat myself with my own money.