My SS therapist is driving me nuts
My SS therapist does not understand that DH and I have jobs. His therapist works 3 days a week and really short hours each day. Like 5 hours a day and expects us to drop everything and come in when she wants us to. SS isn't like crazy or any big issues (just normal kid stuff but BM flips out over everything and thinks he has issues) If SS had serious issues DH and I would drop everything and show up but really kids get in trouble at school it is normal. I don't think we should have to drop everything because SS talked back to BM so we all have to talk about it. If you ever want to make a ton of money and hardly work go be a child therapist. The therapist gets upset when we can't show up when she wants us to. We have work and other kids. Anyone else have issues like this?
The therapist wants all
The therapist wants all parents and stepparents to come once a week so we can all learn how to work together. Umm I think she is out of her mind to believe that 4 working adults can all drop everything once a week to show up and talk.
As the therapist if she wants
As the therapist if she wants to get paid? My guess is that if all 4 working adults take time off work once a week for any period of time, they won't be working anymore and therefore there will be no money for therapy! }:)
BM is all for us all showing
BM is all for us all showing up. I told DH to tell her she really wants this he will stop working and she can start paying us child support. It hasn't come to that but I am sure that would go over well.
I am not pissed that she
I am not pissed that she includes us. I am pissed that she doesn't understand that we can't reschedule everything last minute to make these appointments. Plus the cost is insane. I honestly think she is out to make money. DH found a co-parenting class and she said it wouldn't help at all.
I am sorry your DH wasn't included at all. I don't think that is right.
We pay out of pocket
We pay out of pocket completely when it is only the adults in the office and trust me she is making about $300 an hour for these "discussions" Then she bills insurance for $100 an hour when it is my SS in there then charges us another $70 an hour. BM pushes for SS to see a therapist and this is the only one in town that sees kids with a "high conflict co-parenting" situation. We live in a smaller town so there are not many options. But yes this lady is making so much money that is why her hours are so short.
BM won't agree to it. And it
BM won't agree to it. And it has to be both parents agree to switch any doctors, therapist, or school.
Both parents have to agree on
Both parents have to agree on everything? How does this ever work? It sounds like it's really what BM wants is the default.
I agree 100% but I have no
I agree 100% but I have no say on it. BM believes SS has issues and needs help. I believe he has a crazy mom that is out of her mind and needs it to someone else fault. But none of SS behavior is outrageous in fact I believe it is very age appropriate. But yes she has labeled us as that because my DH would rather communicate through email and does not like to talk to BM at all. BM has anger issues and I believe should be getting some serious therapy (if it was up to me I would have her admitted into a institution) Also, BM lives way out of her means and is/always has been in a lot of debt and upside down on everything so the money doesn't bother her.
You do not have to
You do not have to participate - EVER. I wouldn't.
I am so glad I am not a
I am so glad I am not a horrible person for hating the therapist. I am already not a huge therapy person and this experience made it worse.
Firstly, does the therapist
Firstly, does the therapist have a treatment plan with an outcome goal and a date to reach this outcome for SS? If not, she is planning to drag this out indefinitely for monetary purposes. Any good therapist draws up a treatment plan, with defined outcomes for the client and an approx date to reach your mutual goals. The ones that don't are unethical and money grabbers. Would you agree to have chemo every week for ever with no anticipated treatment outcome? That is the real issue here and how you can weed out the rotten therapists. Mental health professionals do have treatment outcomes and goals for improvements.
She does not. I have never
She does not. I have never thought about that. Thank you I think I will bring that up
Therapists are human and
Therapists are human and biased just like anyone. I had a marriage counselor who was really a social worker since the state I lived in allowed licensed social workers to be therapists and she also had a background in nursing. ExH and I went to see her and she completely sided with him because he'd had some previous medical issues. They sat and talked about his health and made me out to be the evil wife for daring to have ever disagreed with him.
Next LMFT was a guy hired by exMIL to counsel DD14 (now 20). She had all the teen issues, parents now divorced PLUS exMIL who was PASing and running custodial interference. She claimed that I was a horrible mother and should not be raising dd14 because I wasn't part of the said church anymore. I was the cause of all dd's problems, her depression, running away, etc. Funny she did not want my three sons, apparently I was good enough to raise them, just not her precious granddaughter. exH didn't want dd14 because he'd remarried and didn't want dd's issues to torpedo his relationship/step family situation. dd ended up running off with a 17 yr old boy who was later jailed then she was send back to her horrible mother, me. The whole time the extremely biased LMFT who went to the same church as exMIL was siding with her. Oh then when exMIL had enough he sided with her again. LMFT called me to discuss my daughter returning to me and then sent me a bill. Thanks for nothing asshat!
I do believe there are great therapists out there but they should be researched and tailored for your specific needs. Lots of bias towards whoever pays the bill though.