Invited to SD wedding shower
Invitation came for MSD's shower and I was invited :(. I don't want to go! OSD and YSD isn't talking to me. OSD, my DD, and me were originally supposed to throw the shower. Then MSD invited her grandma (BM's mom, BM died of drug of overdoes 15 years ago) to help too. I was fine with this completely understand. Then MSD decides that her fiancee mother, sisters, and a friend of her should be host too. At this point there is now 7 host with me being the only one paying for anything and DD and I being the only one really talking about. Then huge fight between all the SD and my DD which made OSD mad at me too. DD dropped out of helping for shower. Then grandma decided to try to fight with me too when DD dropped out of shower planning. I really felt this was a plan on their part to remove us from the shower planning. I end up telling MSD she could keep all the money I had put down on the venue but I didn't feel comfortable helping with the shower anymore since OSD and grandma were no longer talking to me it makes it hard to co host a party.
This was all 3 months before shower. SD makes a big deal over her aunts stepping in last minute to help (no idea why since there were 5 other host!). We get the invitation this week and I'm surprised to see it did say DH, Me, and family. I really don't want to go! I told DH I would go to the wedding with him but I don't want to go to the shower. I have no desire to sit around with SDs and BM's hateful family! But I'm worried if I don't go it will start a bigger fight since part of the big blow out with my DD and SDs was that they never when to my kids stuff (graduation) . So should I stay or should I go???
I wouldn't go. That whole
I wouldn't go. That whole shower situation is ridiculous.
If you don't want to go,
If you don't want to go, don't. If SD bitches about you not showing up, skip the wedding(and gift giving) as well.
I wouldn't go.
I wouldn't go.
Why would you even consider
Why would you even consider going? Who cares what others that you don't care about think? No one can start a fight with you if you ignore them. No need to convince anyone that you "made an effort". Irrelevant people in your life should be --- well just irrelevant.
Just politely send in your RSVP with a decline.
I'm probably going to be
I'm probably going to be wrestling with something similar in a few months. Being invited to a wedding shower (for SS's fiance) that I don't want to attend. I was planning on sending a card of congratluations with a gift card and just saying, "sorry I can't make it," or something similar. That way, you are acknowledging the event without having to suffer through any SM-doesn't-belong-here type nonsense. BUT, it is 100% up to you. There are too many acronyms above for me to figure out what really went on, but maybe you could put off saying nay or yah for a while, until things clear up a bit. On the other hand, I fully understand the need to protect yourself at these types of events. Hence, the reason why it is up to you and you alone. I used to think you should try to go to these type of events just to be nice, so to speak, but seeing firsthand how quickly people who you thought were family can turn on you, I now feel you have to go with your gut instincts on these things and watch out for yourself.
How about saying, "I'm not up
How about saying, "I'm not up to it" - and you will be telling the truth. You wrote that SD was making a big deal about her Aunt taking over. Do you honestly think SD or her Aunt will send your money back like a person with integrity would? They sound like a disgusting petty lot. They will be mad at you if you go or don't go. No matter what you do it is a lose-lose situation for you. MSD will join her sisters in shunning you and not talking to you either. So what do you do? CELEBRATE!!!
I would keep as much distance
I would keep as much distance as possible between myself and this low brow,. etiquette-challenged lot. Having that many females involved in planning a party was a recipe for disaster.
I have to ask, who is paying for the wedding? Did you and your DH get milked for both events?? It sounds like a tacky gift grab to me. I would send a token gift on behalf of you, DH, and "family" (whatever that means) and be busy doing something somewhere else that day. Your instincts telling you to avoid these people are correct.
I would go late and leave
I would go late and leave early. Just so nobody can fault you for your absence.
I hope you're not paying for the shower as originally planned!
Not everyone sees things the
Not everyone sees things the same way. Who knows what msd is thinking or if she cares at all that she's hurting anyone in the process. I've found that when a young woman is getting married nowadays all they think about is "look at me, look at me" and it's very very frustrating.
Yeh, these ppl sound like jerks but you prolly need to go at least to make your presence known. And you won't have anything to tell us about how crappy everything is if you don't go see it firsthand!!
^^I like this answer.
^^I like this answer.
This would be idea except her
This would be idea except her shower is for males and females and we live over 2 hours away so DH and would be riding together
I'm still considering doing this and leaving to go visit my grandma who lives about 30 minutes away from shower but then I will have to go back and pick up DH.
There is this great book
There is this great book called http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Suzy-Welchs-Rule-of-10-10-10-Decision-Making...
It basically says that when you make a decision you should think about how it will affect you in 10 minutes, 10 months or 10 years. I highly recommend it for decision making like this. This link explains how it works. Good luck.