So, here is how yesterday went:
1. SD14 Alerts me that BM is picking her up in 5 minutes
2. I say "Not cool, I just bought dinner. Did you ask your Dad?"
3. SD14 says "No, Mom just picks me up whenever she wants to, I thought it was OK?"
4. I say "Not really, let me get your Dad to sort this out"
5. DH says "Your Mom needs to confirm with me before she picks you up", but we let her go anyway... not worth the fight PLUS BM owes us $200 for child support because we are taking the kids for the whole summer. This is 1/4 of what he pays a month. She is dodging him because he doesn't want to pay AND we just found out that BM cheated on DH while they were married several times, now she is deflecting and making up malicious rumors about me... kids are starting to turn on me blah blah blah....
6. BM pulls in driveway and DH asks me to motion to her to wait while he puts on a proper shirt. I do this and she gives me the double middle finger. I just wave her off and begin to go in the house, she isn't worth it.
7. BM gets out of her car screaming and yelling profanities at me, and then spits in my face... all while her daughter watches. I yell back to get off my property. DH chases her off and we decide she is no longer allowed to pick up and drop off from our home.
Sounds like your typical Ex vs Current spat... right??? WRONG!! For 5 years she has been somewhat pleasant, and seemingly a good Mom. I have actually stuck up for her in the past and have been EXTREAMLY flexible. I have included her in Holidays and Birthdays as well. When her alcoholic boyfriend goes on a bender, I give her a shoulder to cry on and take the kids off of her hands time and time again. She has called me a MILLION times about advice with the kids and even though I wouldn't have ever considered her a friend or ally. I didn't see her as the enemy... until now.
DH found out she cheated on him while they were married... this fact she eventually came clean about when confronted with it. This matter is SO NONE OF MY BUSINESS... so when this little snake called me to cry about it, I just listed and told her it was ancient history and DH will most likely move on from it within a day or 2, and just to lay low until things blow over. Well, she then decided to fake NUMEROUS texts that I "Sent" her and showed my DH. Which is HYTERICAL because I would NEVER EVER put ANYTHING in a text that would be incriminating to myself or him. Needless to say this had caused MAJOR issues in my homes life (Sidebar: my time at my home is drawing to an end as I cannot put up with all of this anymore, and I am quietly making plans for an exit, but I have about 60 more days there until that can happen. This is not a case of "I will be leaving soon just let it go". I would like to get a restraining order against her. Can I do this?
If I cannot, I would like to make her life as miserable as possible. So ANY suggestions are encouraged and welcomed. I have fed her children when she and DH had no money, I have paid for school items, clothing, shoes, entertainment, and the list goes on when no one else would or could. NOW 2 Skids who I always had a beautiful relationship are rotten to me because they "Don't like how I speak to their Mother" and the BM had poisoned their minds to be little nightmares now.... I don't WANT to take it out on the kids... but I do feel they need to know what their Mother is doing.... She told the kids I am nothing but "Trash" and come from a low class family... which is HILARIOUS because I am the ONLY person in their life who has a professional career and a stable head on their shoulders. BM allowed her kids to live with a drunk for 5 years... I know what its like to live with someone struggling with addiction and I have always been empathetic, but I think enough is enough... I know she is getting desperate because she needs to move from the place she lives in now my Sept 1, and she cannot afford to buy her own condo or even rent an apartment. I know desperate times call for desperate measures... but I am NOT going to sacrifice my sanity for the sake of this bitch.
Not acceptable behavior for a BM, mine used to scream profanities in our driveway, show up unannounced and walk right into our house, if we weren't there she would make the kids open the door for her and then walk in, she would stalk us at night, parking in front of our house for >20 minutes each time multiple times, she would drive up to our mailbox and steal our mail, she would open accounts in DH's name (using his SS# from old Tax papers) and run up charges.
YES! you can get an RO against her, collect all your police reports and fraud reports and FILE! I did, and it served me well!
My BM is SO OUT OF CONTROL! she violated the RO TWICE! I also have a No Contact order and No trespass order through the county sheriff department!
I used to bend over backwards to help this woman, even took a day off work to help her out and within 30 days, she trashed me to the skids and screamed profanities at me in the driveway, because she wanted to talk to DH and he wasn't available at the time she showed up (unannounced)
NEVER respond! I never never never responded, I would stand there quiet when she behaved like that, then I started to video tape it, then I would call the police!
Video it and call the police!
Helping an abuser does not keep the abuse away, staying away from an abuser keeps the abuse away.
OK now I think it is
OK now I think it is working... here is my RANT:
So, here is how yesterday went:
1. SD14 Alerts me that BM is picking her up in 5 minutes
2. I say "Not cool, I just bought dinner. Did you ask your Dad?"
3. SD14 says "No, Mom just picks me up whenever she wants to, I thought it was OK?"
4. I say "Not really, let me get your Dad to sort this out"
5. DH says "Your Mom needs to confirm with me before she picks you up", but we let her go anyway... not worth the fight PLUS BM owes us $200 for child support because we are taking the kids for the whole summer. This is 1/4 of what he pays a month. She is dodging him because he doesn't want to pay AND we just found out that BM cheated on DH while they were married several times, now she is deflecting and making up malicious rumors about me... kids are starting to turn on me blah blah blah....
6. BM pulls in driveway and DH asks me to motion to her to wait while he puts on a proper shirt. I do this and she gives me the double middle finger. I just wave her off and begin to go in the house, she isn't worth it.
7. BM gets out of her car screaming and yelling profanities at me, and then spits in my face... all while her daughter watches. I yell back to get off my property. DH chases her off and we decide she is no longer allowed to pick up and drop off from our home.
Sounds like your typical Ex vs Current spat... right??? WRONG!! For 5 years she has been somewhat pleasant, and seemingly a good Mom. I have actually stuck up for her in the past and have been EXTREAMLY flexible. I have included her in Holidays and Birthdays as well. When her alcoholic boyfriend goes on a bender, I give her a shoulder to cry on and take the kids off of her hands time and time again. She has called me a MILLION times about advice with the kids and even though I wouldn't have ever considered her a friend or ally. I didn't see her as the enemy... until now.
DH found out she cheated on him while they were married... this fact she eventually came clean about when confronted with it. This matter is SO NONE OF MY BUSINESS... so when this little snake called me to cry about it, I just listed and told her it was ancient history and DH will most likely move on from it within a day or 2, and just to lay low until things blow over. Well, she then decided to fake NUMEROUS texts that I "Sent" her and showed my DH. Which is HYTERICAL because I would NEVER EVER put ANYTHING in a text that would be incriminating to myself or him. Needless to say this had caused MAJOR issues in my homes life (Sidebar: my time at my home is drawing to an end as I cannot put up with all of this anymore, and I am quietly making plans for an exit, but I have about 60 more days there until that can happen. This is not a case of "I will be leaving soon just let it go". I would like to get a restraining order against her. Can I do this?
If I cannot, I would like to make her life as miserable as possible. So ANY suggestions are encouraged and welcomed. I have fed her children when she and DH had no money, I have paid for school items, clothing, shoes, entertainment, and the list goes on when no one else would or could. NOW 2 Skids who I always had a beautiful relationship are rotten to me because they "Don't like how I speak to their Mother" and the BM had poisoned their minds to be little nightmares now.... I don't WANT to take it out on the kids... but I do feel they need to know what their Mother is doing.... She told the kids I am nothing but "Trash" and come from a low class family... which is HILARIOUS because I am the ONLY person in their life who has a professional career and a stable head on their shoulders. BM allowed her kids to live with a drunk for 5 years... I know what its like to live with someone struggling with addiction and I have always been empathetic, but I think enough is enough... I know she is getting desperate because she needs to move from the place she lives in now my Sept 1, and she cannot afford to buy her own condo or even rent an apartment. I know desperate times call for desperate measures... but I am NOT going to sacrifice my sanity for the sake of this bitch.
Not acceptable behavior for a
Not acceptable behavior for a BM, mine used to scream profanities in our driveway, show up unannounced and walk right into our house, if we weren't there she would make the kids open the door for her and then walk in, she would stalk us at night, parking in front of our house for >20 minutes each time multiple times, she would drive up to our mailbox and steal our mail, she would open accounts in DH's name (using his SS# from old Tax papers) and run up charges.
YES! you can get an RO against her, collect all your police reports and fraud reports and FILE! I did, and it served me well!
My BM is SO OUT OF CONTROL! she violated the RO TWICE! I also have a No Contact order and No trespass order through the county sheriff department!
I used to bend over backwards to help this woman, even took a day off work to help her out and within 30 days, she trashed me to the skids and screamed profanities at me in the driveway, because she wanted to talk to DH and he wasn't available at the time she showed up (unannounced)
NEVER respond! I never never never responded, I would stand there quiet when she behaved like that, then I started to video tape it, then I would call the police!
Video it and call the police!
Helping an abuser does not keep the abuse away, staying away from an abuser keeps the abuse away.
Collect your police reports and file an RO!