One Week Of School Left...
Only one more week of school left, and no word on if HHB will get her credits or not. She may be scurrying to get them, because she supposedly WILL be in color guard next year, and if she wants to participate the first 3 weeks of school, she has to pass everything the last grading period of the school year. Of course, she is probably crying her way into her credits...getting teachers to let her turn in work 4 weeks late and stuff. Part of me is furious that the teachers do this crap...pass students who don't deserve it...and part of me thinks about the extra year of child support that will have to be paid if HHB does not get her credits. For new folks here...yeah, I know that the child support shouldn't concern me, because it is DH that has to pay it, not me. Only problem is, I'm already covering part of DH's obligations to this household, because I make more than he does, and because of child support, he doesn't have enough money to cover his portion of things. The loans I've taken for BS20 to go to college come due about a year HHB is supposed to graduate, and it would be really nice to have DH start covering all of his portion so that I can start payments early on those things, or pay off other stuff as to not feel the pain of the college loans as bad. As long as DH has to pay child support, money comes out of my pocket! As much as I would hate for HHB to get a diploma she didn't earn, I want that girl out of school ON TIME! Of course, BM isn't concerned, because she wants to collect child support as long as she can get away with it. Two more years TOPS is all DH should have to pay...I don't like the idea of having to "reward" bad parenting for paying child support for an over-18 child who didn't graduate when they should, because the custodial parent couldn't do their job of making sure the kid did their work and didn't miss more school days than they should!
At last conversation several weeks ago, HHB had to make up the 4th and 5th grading period in chemistry on the computer, because she had a 28% for the semester at that point. She also had failing grades in English and History...though not as low, and supposedly could pull those up to passing with the 6th grading period and her finals. Oh...and finals. She failed nearly all of her semester finals the first semester! The only thing that saved her butt on her semester credits was that I was looking at her grades and was always on DH's butt to be on HHB's butt, because I wasn't about to have that girl living in my house longer than she should. Then, she had a fit, and moved back to BM during winter break, and now no one is on her about her grades! She texts ALL DAY at school, and stays on the phone until all hours. The entire first semester, she missed maybe 1 day of school. Since being back at BM's, she has missed more than the 9 days allowed per semester, and I know the girl has to make up hours (they can do this staying after school or doing Saturday school, which I don't know if she has been doing). I know this because she always posts something stupid on her social media during school hours when she misses school...like "Watching Ellen...life is complete" or "Hangin' out with mom watching movies".
Oh, and supposedly...according to DH...the driving without a license causing an accident charges have been dropped, because she apparently completed her community service, class, and paid the fine. What does that mean? With the charges dropped, they don't show on her record, and if they aren't on her record, that means she is eligible to get a driver's license! UGH! That thought makes me sick to my stomach! WHY? I'm just waiting for BM and HHB to start bugging DH that HE needs to pay for drivers' ed and a car! Oh hell no! Last thing that girl needs is a car! She already has crappy grades and gets into trouble! Seriously...girl is 16...time for her to find a job! There are tons of jobs within 1 mile of her house...fast food, retail...GET A J.O.B.!
Okay...that is my rant for the day. Was just thinking about the end of school, and how pissed I'm going to be if the girl doesn't get her credits. I know there are a few of you others out there wondering the same thing, or if their skids are even going to graduate!
Oh, and it also occurred to
Oh, and it also occurred to me the insurance that I pay for...yes me! Why, because DH's insurance isn't crap, so money is taken out of MY check for HHB to have insurance, and I surely don't want to continue to pay for that! I plan on dropping that girl in 2 years!
HHB's excuses would be that
HHB's excuses would be that color guard takes too much of her time or that she can't get a job without a car because BM doesn't drive and her step-dad doesn't want to take her to work and pick her up. Not my problem! Not enough time? BS20 spent a whole lot of time with football in the fall, and track in the spring (he threw shotput and discus)...much more than HHB would ever spend on color guard. He still worked, and he worked a lot! There at the end of high school, after he turned 18, they were working him 40 hours a week...5 to close most weekdays and on the weekends. They would make concessions for him for his sports...he would just have to give them his schedule ahead of time. Oh wait...HHB never knows what is going on because she never pays attention, and doesn't tell people she needs to be places until the night before or day of!
And there have been times BS20 didn't have a car...his car is broken right now (was in a wreck before leaving for college, and it is finally going into the body shop next week to be fixed...been a year without a car). Does that stop him from working? No! I take him to work, and either DH or I will pick him up when he gets off of work. If we can't do it, BS20 has friends who will help him out, and he will arrange a ride. I bet if asked (instead of assumed), the step-dad would GLADLY help with work transportation if HHB got a job...that is stuff that BM and HHB isn't asking him for when the child support runs out on things like clothes and makeup! Like I said...plenty of places to work within 1 mile...BS20's job is 15 miles from our house because we live in the country! Closest place for him to work is down by where HHB lives. I will be so glad when his truck is fixed...LOL!
Well, college isn't in the
Well, college isn't in the court orders...thankfully! It says that child support is paid until HHB's 18th birthday, or she graduates high school...whatever happens later. After that, DH's legal obligation is over! If she is having to make up grades on the computer, I'm not too worried about her trying to go to college. NCAA has strict requirements to enrollment. At the Div I level, you can't have any credit by computer. At the Div II and Div III level, you are only allowed 1 full credit by computer. After that, you have to consider community college, and transfer to a university from there. One of BS20's friends found this out the hard way, and is just finishing up his one year of community college, and will be transferring to a university next semester. The ONLY school HHB wants to even go to right now is a known party school, and DH has already said that if she goes there, she can forget asking him for any help! He will not spend money for her to party! She wants to major in dance! I'm like, "Really? And that is going to get you a job doing what?" BS20 is hoping he makes the NFL. I think he can do it, but he does have a plan B. His degree is in physical education, so that he can got to work as a PE teacher or coach after college if the NFL doesn't pan out. The school district here is known for hiring alum with teaching degrees who come back and want to teach/coach. BS20 said if he doesn't go on to the NFL, he would love to come back here and coach.
One thing that does scare me is BM thinking she can ask for child support as long as HHB is living with her, regardless of if she is graduated or not. Yeah, I just know the woman is going to pitch a fit when DH tells her that's the last payment! "But she still lives with me!" Sorry...she will be an adult...tell her to get off her lazy arse and get a job!
I agree that HHB is going to
I agree that HHB is going to have to learn to get off of her butt! I hope she gets passing grades so your finances don't continue to go to her! Spring 2017 will be your time to celebrate! Fingers crossed for you!
If she got her GED before her
If she got her GED before her 18th birthday, DH would still have to pay until 18. If HHB graduates on time, DH is only pay 3 months beyond her 18th birthday.
I told DH today that I can see BM throwing a fit after the next 24 payments are done...if HHB graduates on time. I told him, "You know she will whine that HHB is still living with her, so she should still get money!" He doesn't think she will try to have a fit, but he regularly underestimates her. 99% of the time, I call it on the nose!
I'm wondering if HHB has to go to summer school. DH said that BM started bugging for the child support money 2 days ago! Child support isn't due until the 10th of the month, but BM is really worried about getting that money like right now! DH already told her he will bring it to her tomorrow morning, and she called him again tonight asking if he was sure he would be bringing the child support tomorrow! Yeah, something is up...and my guess is that it is summer school, which she would have to pay for ASAP.
Either that or BM can't
Either that or BM can't afford her rent, so she needs her "income."
Step-dad pays all the bills,
Step-dad pays all the bills, and he actually has a decent job. Either HHB has to go to summer school, or she is throwing a fit that she "needs" something...maybe out of eyeliner and step-dad is like me and says he isn't spending money on her. If BM and HHB can't budget out the child support to last all month, not his problem! He's already paying rent and utilities, while BM doesn't work at all.
I also brought up to DH that he should start making the suggestion that HHB get a job...I mean, before the flood of extras they want DH to pay for start coming in. Forget that we paid for everything for two years, no help from BM, including extras like color guard and makeup! DH pays more than half of what it should take to tend to HHB's needs and SOME wants...it is up to BM to start doing her share, and start expecting HHB to work to get things that are not needs, like makeup and particular brands of clothes! When I was a teen, mom always told me...she was only required to provide clothing. If I wanted more expensive clothing from the mall, I could buy it with money I earned by working! I raised my bios the same way! When BD24 found out HHB expected us to buy her makeup when HHB lived here, BD24 said, "Are you kidding me? You never bought my makeup! I always bought with my own money! Girl needs to work!"
GED and early forced
GED and early forced emancipation. What a gift that could be.
}:)
A good friend of mine forced emancipation on his middle daughter when she pulled a bunch of crap and pissed him off. That woke her ass up. She couch surfed her friend's parent's houses and mooched until she finished high school a year early. Her dad would not allow her in the family home. Once the judge ordered forced emancipation he wrote her off until she pulled her head out of her ass. Ten years later they are very close but there were many very rough years before they worked it out.
DH dropped off child support
DH dropped off child support today, and HHB was trying to cry that BM and step-dad was broke. Sounds like a setup to me to get ready to ask DH for a bunch of extras! DH did mention to HHB that she should start considering a job. She responded, "Yeah, probably."
As for grades, she is still failing chemistry and geometry. HHB seems to think she can score high enough on her exams to bring up her semester grade to passing. Keep in mind, HHB made 60's on both of these exams last semester! I reminded DH of this, and he said, "Not my problem!" I told him, "But it IS your problem, because if she ends up being a 5th year high schooler, you are paying another full year of child support!" DH then said, "Oh, I'm sure that won't happen! If it comes to that, HHB won't stay...she would drop out before going another year!" Oh, so DH does get that HHB doesn't care about her education!
And as I suspected, girl is starting to hint about a car! Over my dead body will DH help her get a car when he can't cover his portion of the household stuff! The thought also came to me that there is no way step-dad will pay to get HHB insurance. No way in hell is she going on ours! Our rates would double...hell no!
And we stopped to eat today close to HHB's house. Sign said they were hiring...paying $10.50/hr. I mentioned to DH that HHB would work there.
DH: I don't think HHB would survive!
Me: You don't think she can handle the dinner rush?
DH: Not that. She wouldn't deal too well with smelling like grease!
Me: Oh well! Lots of kids deal with it! It's a job!
Isn't HHB one of our pet
Isn't HHB one of our pet stanky not changing the underwear for weeks on end don't shower BO Queens?
And she would have a problem smelling like grease? It seems to me that grease would be an improved odor for HHB if I am not mistaken.
You all make me giggle! Oh,
You all make me giggle! Oh, the thought of HHB's uniform if she worked fast food...EWWW! Remember, she rarely washes clothes! I bet she would get sent home for smelling bad! Yeah, it is funny that DH would comment about HHB not wanting to smell like grease, while she has her own stench!
I worked in a burger joint in high school. Seriously, every night when I got home...didn't care if it was midnight (it was a 24 hr place), I would take a shower, rinse out my uniform, and hung it to dry for the next day. Any I had to wear one of those awful polyester things...it was brown, orange, and yellow (80's baby)! On my day off, I would wash it and my other clothing. Kids today are lucky most uniforms involve some sort of polo shirt that is much more easily washed than the uniforms some of us had to wear!
My first career was in the
My first career was in the restaurant business. Ultimately I owned several of them as a founding partner of an investment company that owned and operated restuarant franchises. The smell of "restaurant" particularly back of the house operations can permiate the poors never mind clothes. Grease, produce, cleaning supplies, etc..... Definately a distinct smell to have to deal with.
Like you I showered as soon as i got home from work. Rather than wash my work clothes I had tehm laudered and had two separate ward robes and closets. One for work clothes and shoes, one for non work attire. Even when professionally laundered their was always a slight grease odor in my work clothes.
I had several 3rd country nationals working in my stores. Counseling them to bathe regularly and launder their work clothing was a constant effort for the 7 years I was in the restaurant business.