Just a water bottle?
OK, maybe I'm reading waaay to much into this, but I have noticed for the last year or so, when it's our weekend, BM has been bringing disposable plastic water bottles to every game SS11 has and giving it to him. (It started with Gatorade, which DH requested her to stop bringing) Even if he already has one, and even if it's after the game is already over. And normally SS11 brings a reusable water bottle from our house when he has a game on our weekends. Lately he's been saying he doesn't want to bring one, he'll just use the bubbler (water fountain for some of you), but then always takes BM's water. This bothers me and DH only because we try our best to avoid as much use of unnecessary plastic as possible.
BM has been manipulating skids from day one, and I think she's using this to undermine DH and use it as a tactic to subconsciously remind SS11 that he always needs her. Am I crazy, or could she be manipulating with water?!?!?
If so, is it worth mentioning to DH to send her an email to stop? I mean she can do whatever she wants when they're with her, but DH and I are also trying to teach him to waste less and reduce/reuse.
Sending an email won't do a
Sending an email won't do a thing but make you guys look petty. "My ex and his new wife are freaking because I gave son water during hjs dad's time." :jawdrop:
She's giving the kid water in a public place. There's nothing wrong with that. Now if she decides to deliver cases of bottled water to your home, then that would be wrong.
I happen to be one of those parents who think drinking from a water fountain is gross. Some little kids put their mouths or tongues on the darn things. Some kids and adults spit in them.
WOW!! Thanks for sharing the
WOW!! Thanks for sharing the article.
HRNYC doesn't think that way
HRNYC doesn't think that way (SM's don't die on weekends), in her mind they don't exist at all. Technically she's correct that the weekend is the father's parenting time, but what she likes to pretend is that the SM isn't a part of it. Like SM isn't really spending her weekend going to skid sporting events. You know, the SM sitting and cheering on the skid weekend after weekend isn't 'really' happening , the OP is really instead home locked in the closet until Sunday evening or whenever it's appropriate time or Dad to let her out
Why can it not be their
Why can it not be their weekend together as a family? In our situation we say "our" weekend and bm says "ours" too, referring to her and her fiancé. Is it ok for bm to do it though? Such a petty thing to get irritated about.
I wouldn't make a big deal about the water. Whatever floats her boat. I would bring along the water bottle and if he takes bm's "special" water, whatever. Bm always would have her fiancé go buy the kids Gatorade when we had already brought them water and then gush about how amazing he was. It's all part of the game. I get irritated too, but smile and don't show her it bugs you!
Ours is a plural possessive
Ours is a plural possessive used to indicate the shared spending of prime weekend time with the skid. Plural means more than one, so since both MamaBass and her DH are spending their weekend time with the skid, MamaBass is therefore correct in using the term "ours." This is how words work in the real world.
I'd buy enough reusable water
I'd buy enough reusable water bottles for the whole team and rubber band an encouraging note about how one reusable bottle can take hundreds of disposable bottles out of landfills.
http://www.reuseit.com/facts-and-myths/use-and-toss-plastic-bottle-facts...
You likely wouldn't see another disposable plastic water bottle in your SS's hands.
This is so odd in a way. It's
This is so odd in a way. It's all in context. My daughter does gymnastics, I drive my daughter, and her friend. The mom drives them back. The mom always for some reason gives my daughter a disposable water bottle, even though my daughter has her own re usable. I thought it was odd, I asked my daughter. She just has water bottles for the girls. I don't know why. After the initial conversation with my daughter months ago, i never gave it a second thought. Til I read this. I guess it's context. This is a nice lady and we share rides and I do not care if giving the girls water bottles is her thing. Make it a divorce situation, and a it's extremely annoying at best. Such is the ugliness of divorce with kids.
Sometimes a water bottle is
Sometimes a water bottle is more than a water bottle, especially where nutty bms are concerned, but in this case you're probably going to have to let it go. The skid's growing up in two different households: one where recycling and caring about the environment are paramount and one where they aren't. I know, except in my situation, "our" household places an emphasis on education and culture while BM's doesn't (unless owning all 6 seasons of the Jersey Shore count).
All you can do is try and lead by example. When the skid's at your house, give him reusable water bottles, etc... But there's nothing you can do about what happens at BM's house, or when BM happens to be at the skid's sporting event. Maybe at some point the skid on his own will take a stand on reusable water bottles, but until that time all you can do is continue to give the skid reusable bottles and hope for the best.
If you want to get the
If you want to get the message clearly to the kid and to BM teach the kid a mantra - "Mom, we don't use disposable plastic products. They are bad for the planet. I have a reusable bottle. Thanks."
From my perspective this whole situation is not worth the time it takes to think about it. Not your water bottle. Not your problem.
She's sticking it to you with
She's sticking it to you with those plastic bottles, just ignore.
Ignore... so many other
Ignore... so many other battles with BM, this is not one of them.
I live with an engineer and have one in engineering school. Their theory is recycling methods keep getting better and we are ensuring engineers have jobs. It was years before I finally got DH to recycle. Now he does but he is anti recycling.
this is the thing about
this is the thing about "blended" families. the children's other parent is involved and will influence their child. inevitably, one parent is going to have higher standards/morals than the other, undoing a lot of the teachings of the more moral parent. this is why us as stepmom's need to disconnect from most of the stuff. this isn't our child, we influence them very little, even while giving 100 percent. it's like beating your head against a brick wall. let this go. you and your dh has an awareness of what plastic does to the environment, bm doesn't. bm's way is easier for the kid. kid chooses her way.
My husbands x use to send
My husbands x use to send skid over with slings, hand wraps, foot boot that f'ing stunk. Old things that came from the other kids. BM tried to play dr. It was mainly for the skid to attract attention to hersf. They would come up with the most stupidest self diagnoses for them self, "hairline fracture" lol . The skid would take it off and leave it and I just tossed the stinky thing in trash. The foot boot stunk bad! Ewww
Maybe it contains her breast
Maybe it contains her breast milk... :sick: