Sadly it is normal. When I met DH he had a nice new truck, and loved going to nice places and seeing live music. He had a roomate but they lived in a nice condo. Fast forward to now. He makes more than I do, but after CS is taken out his bring home is so much less than mine. It really does bother me. When I was single, I had my house, and was able to do everything on my own and still afford luxuries like getting my hair and nails done. Now, I haven't been able to get my nails done is 4 weeks and they look horrible, my hair...hasn't been touched in over six months. Oh but did netflix, xbox live, and WOW come out of the bank this month?? It sure as hell did.
It is very frustrating, but it is something that we're going to have to live with. sigh.

im fortunate.

my fiance and i make about the same. what he pays in CS, i compensate by placing the same amount into my 401K.

we were also both blessed to walk away from our prior marriages with no debt and money in the bank.

if you had a paid off house, why on earth did you buy another one AND borrow from his 401K to boot??

Don't wait until you burst out over windshield wipers. Speak up early. This is really hard for women. But once you teach it to yourself and practice it, it gets easier. Write it on the palm of your hand: Speak. Up.

I understand how you feel. Surely he sees everything that I see and why wouldn't he do something about it? The fact is, HE DOES NOT SEE WHAT YOU SEE. He's going la de la down Candy Lane happy with his hot new wife thinking life is grand and all of the sudden a banshee is screaming at him about windshield wipers. Really, that's how he sees it.

So the remedy is take a hot bath, pour in lots of Calgon (you know what I mean, whatever makes you feel pampered and relaxed) and when you are feeling really calm and loving, open a dialogue with him. Take a deep breath and tell him you are feeling dissatisfied with the way things are budgeted in your house. Ask him what his thoughts are. If he's a really good guy -- which I am assuming he is because you fell in love with him -- he will want you to be happy. It's likely he'll be really surprised at how you feel and he'll tell you what he can realistically do to shoulder more of the burden. Maybe you should be the one driving the new truck and he takes mil's hand me downs. Frankly, that's what my dh would do. Anyway, you should be able to work this out together during this conversation so both parties feel good. There's actually joy in solving one of these things, you feel more confident and in love afterward.

I strongly urge you to work this out with him. Because if you have this money resentment on top of the Disney Dad resentment, the prognosis for your marriage is not so rosy. So put your big girl panties on and get the cash flow worked out so you can feel more happiness. You are going to need all the rest of your strength to deal with the stepkid issues alone. You got married to be happy, right? Fight for that happiness!! Don't let it die off in a rising tide of resentment. Give him a chance to make things better. Speak. Up. You can do it!

I would be severely resentful if in your situation. My bf and I are both cheap and we have talked about how we would handle this. As mentioned above, add up and divide. Now in my situation, I have two kids and he has one, but we also eat more expensive food, so that is something to factor in as well. But if there are two of "them" and three of "us" I would not split it down the middle, I would figure out 2/5 and 3/5.