Not motherly to my ss
Me n my husband have been together for over 2 years now and when we first were together his son was 2...he was the cutest thing in the world but the connection between me n his son was non existsant...his son was litterally evil to my 11 month old baby and my 4 year old constantly hitting and bitting and scratching really malicious type of behavior ss and my 11 month bs litterally could not be next to eachother for more than 5 secs without ss harming him....and it was like that for awhile now my bs is 3 and they play and have a great time and that phase is over with ...but i still dont have that loving motherly connection... for example if i were to tuck in the kids at bed time id ask for hugs and sugars and he wouldnt want anything to do with me he would judt pull his covers up over his head and wait for his dad... all the time he says he loves daddy and he loves nanna but he doesnt ever say anything about me...but its more of a mutual thing tho ...is this ok? i feel like its going to get bad when hes older exp: he listens to me and respects me when im home with him during the day but when his dad comes home everything i say goes out the window. If he asks for something and i say no he will go right to his dad and ask him if he can have it. This is also the same for my Bs whos 6yrs old with my husband they dont really get along and have a connection like a loving father and son connection either. If his son wakes up in the middle of the night and calls for his dad he will be more patient with him, but if my bs6 wakes up he will be very flustered and have a horrible attitude with him and tell him to go back to sleep. Is it normal to not have a motherly connection with your ss sometimes i feel like a baby sitter i feel really bad when i say this but i dont play favorites i treat them all the same id do for him the same way i do my own but the connection isnt there and i can tell its the same for me on my ss's end as well... i feel like a bad person and i know id never be able to tell my husband how i truly feel.
it took awhile and alot of
it took awhile and alot of disciplining to get to this point pretty much like im the evil step mother and you cant actually admit it either because then your a bad person for not having natural love for a 2 yr old it sounds bad
Eventually, after your DH
Eventually, after your DH gives the same EXACT response you do each time, SS will be trained to know not to even bother asking DH after he has asked you. He (SS) will know he is going to get the same answer and asking would be futile.
I know and ive always told
I know and ive always told myself that obviously i did not get pregnant with my husband and create my ss but i feel like everyone especially his mom wants to instill that i must have that motherly love for him or else we shouldnt have ever been together or im a horrible person if i dont but just knowing that there are sms out there that feel the same way as i do makes me feel so much more relieved and just overall better because i have so much built up emotions sometimes i just dont know what to do or i feel like im going to snap.
I know and ive always told
I know and ive always told myself that obviously i did not get pregnant with my husband and create my ss but i feel like everyone especially his mom wants to instill that i must have that motherly love for him or else we shouldnt have ever been together or im a horrible person if i dont but just knowing that there are sms out there that feel the same way as i do makes me feel so much more relieved and just overall better because i have so much built up emotions sometimes i just dont know what to do or i feel like im going to snap.
My mom married my dad who was
My mom married my dad who was just like me had to bs's from 2 different bms prior to my mom and my mom always felt like an outsider so then they had my brother do you think having another child will make the family complete or do yall think itll get worse?
I think it's perfectly
I think it's perfectly normal. I really think Skids and Sparents are usually okay with being distant with each other, your SS is a perfect example. But a lot of bio dads have fantasies of stepparents falling in love with their kids. As long as your DH isn't like those bio dads, and as long as he doesn't blame you, and has realistic expectations, then you should be fine.
And kids acting up around their parents, and not around non-parents makes sense too.
It was really bad in the
It was really bad in the beginning of our relationship...i understood that at the time we werent living together and we both lived 30 mins away but everytime he slept over my house sunday night he didnt want to bring home his bs to his nanas house (because it would make him late for work and he hated waking up at 6 in the morning) so he would always want me to watch him...and at the time my 2 bs's were 4 and not even 1 yet and ss was very mean to my little one which caused friction between ss and my mom n dad ...especially my dad, he doesnt care for ss AT ALL he called him a devil child ...not to his face of course... but everytime id go to work on monday id have to drop him off at his nana's house and she'd be pissed off because shed have to watch him and her free time was over. i dreaded going to drop off ss at her house because she would litterally curse me out, sometimes and have the worst attitude and ask and interrogate me if i had work that day so that way it was a perfect legit excuse as to why i couldnt watch him anymore and that she would have to take over. One day she came bursting out the house when my dh's grandparents were there (my mil parents) and i didnt even see them and she cursed me out saying this is bullshit i have to watch him i have fucking plans today (she had plans to go fishing with her mom) (oh btw she was like 51 she was a young mom with my dh ...dh is 31)...and mil thought ss had plans to be dropped off at his bm's house but she backed out and disappeared and i had to go to work and so i exploded and said ...ITS NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY HES NOT MY CHILD THIS IS YOUR GRANDSON AND THIS IS WHAT HAPPENDS WHEN YOUR SON HAS A KID WITH ANOTHER PERSON AND THAT PERSON IS A DEAD BEAT..AND YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY YOUR ACTUALLY WITH HIM CONSIDERING SS'S BM BRAINWASHED DH INTO THINKING SHE "WASNT" STEALING YOUR PILLS AND TOOK SS AWAY FROM YOU WHEN HE TURNED 1 YRS OLD. it was so bad i felt like nobody wanted to take responsibility for ss and i was always being forced to watch and take care of him they even forced him to call me mommy..and i told my dh that since day one you made sure ss to call me mommy and he denies it....fyi this doesnt happen anymore ive gotten through that first year by the skin of my teeth right before he moved in it was really bad bc my parents were going through a divorce so added stress made everything worse i was on the verge of leaving him that july ...but when he left his moms house our relationship did a 360 turn and it got so much better....and alot of it was because i just dealt with it and just took it.