Don't get me started! SheSloth is currently sitting with an F and 3 C's. How much you want to bet they are B's by the end of the week because the teachers let her turn in weeks old late homework for full credit again! Then, she will be all beaming like she did something good. I told DH just the other night when I got that email from the teacher, "I don't care if she brings home all A's and B's. It isn't impressive for teachers to allow late homework to allow her to pull grades out of her ass! It would be impressive for her to turn her work in when due, and maintain the grade the whole period!"

We used to go to battle with the Skid's teaching teams for not flunking his lazy ass. On several occasions we would get a progress report with the boiler plate note at the bottom "For any grade lower than a C please arrange a conference with your child's teachers.". We would arrange the conference; the entire team would show up which was something that was new since I was in middle and high school in the 70 and 80's. They would arrange a semicircle of desks for the teaching team (5-6 teachers) facing two low chairs for my bride and I. It was like a mini inquisition and I always responded by grabbing the teacher’s chair from behind their desk and another office chair from the classroom next door to make sure they comprehended the true balance of power and authority. That made them notably uncomfortable when my 6’0” bride and I (6’1”) would raise the office chairs as high as they would go and the teachers were in student desks facing us rather than us on stubby little chairs facing them.

Each time the team lead would ask us with a quizzical look on their face "We are wondering why you asked for this conference. (Skid) is a great kid and we have no problems with him?” We would give them a copy of the progress report with the boiler plate conference instruction and any grades lower than C highlighted. “Oh, we did not even know that was on the progress report. You are the first parents to ever ask for a conference based on that. We usually call the parents to a conference for problem kids and even then they usually don't show up.”

That would start our interrogation of the teaching team. After about an hour the picture would be clear. Skid was a straight A student the first 6 weeks then did shit for nothing the next 6 weeks and would barely pass several of his classes. He would hook the teachers from day one with his very polite behavior, great work, and respectful class participation. The good teachers would give him crappy grades when he played his usual second 6 weeks games. The crappy teachers would give him the ‘I like him’ A grade even though his work and effort sucked. Watching the strong teachers lean back in their desks with their arms crossed and grins on their faces while the weak sympathy grade teachers squirmed, fidgeted, “Ummmm”ed and “Ahhhhhh”ed was always very interesting during our interrogation of the teaching team.

We invariably found out that the Skid was reading novels in class rather than participating. He was not turning in his work though we checked that he completed his homework each night. He was sleeping in class, etc…… Many of his teachers would ask him about his homework a week or so later and he would say “Oh, I forgot. Here it is” then give him full credit.

Each semester from 8th grade through 10th grade and then for the first semester of his Sr. year was the same old shit. Hook the teachers with straight A’s the first grading period then do nothing the second grading period. His Jr year was the exception because he was scared shitless during his first year at Military Boarding School. But, once he figured it out he went back to his usual pattern. The exception was the his teachers at Military School had no issue with flunking his lazy ass.

Each PTC for low grades we insisted that the teachers flunk his lazy ass, take his novel tear it in half and toss it in the trash can, take his desk and stand him against a wall near the front of the classroom for sleeping in class, stick him in weekend study hall for any missed assignment whether he had it done and handed it in as soon as he was asked or not. Put his ass in Sat study hall for any late work. Period!!!

The strong teachers would nod vigorously and the weak ones would immediately start with the tender “We can’t do that. We don’t want to dampen his love of reading.” Bullshit. This kid would read blank toilet paper if he had nothing else to read. He has consumed every printed word within reach since he was 5yo. Tearing up his novel and pitching it in the trash is not going to kill his love for reading, it is going to get his attention, piss him off, and motivate him.

“But what if it is a library book?” Tear it up and throw it away. He will replace it by working his ass off on every unpleasant chore we can devise to earn the money to replace any disposed of library books.

“There must be something wrong. He is such a well behaved and intelligent kid. Is he on drugs? Are things okay at home?” The only thing wrong is that you, like most of his previous teachers, have fallen for his manipulative bullshit. He earns straight A’s at the beginning of each semester if he has new teachers. Once he hooks you he then does shit for nothing and too many of you buy his bullshit.

We are on your side but we cannot be in your classroom to deal with his usual manipultions. Only you can do that. We are telling you that you should fail him. We will back you all the way to the school board if necessary. Send the kid a message and pry his head out of his own ass when he is in YOUR classroom!!! PLEASE!!!!

FLUNK HIM!!! Make him repeat a year. Barring his ass to his peers and forcing him to walk the halls a year behind his buddies will get his attention. We are instructing you to fail him. So please do it.

“Oh, we couldn’t possibly do that! To flunk a kid for the entire year they have to fail the same two classes two grading periods in a row and then not complete summer school to make up the credits.”

This is where my bride and I give them the crossed arm shit eating “you really are idiots” look and they go “Oh.!!!!” And find clarity that they are being played by the master manipulator that is the Skid. He is a great kid. Smart, polite, Kind, respectful, and he is playing you to get exactly what he wants when he wants it. }:)

When we have the repeat of lecture 27-B about buckling down and doing what he knows he should be doing and how much more work it is to flunk a class than it is to make an A he would in all seriousness look us in the eye and say ….
“Mom and dad. I know I can do it, you know I can do it, my teachers know I can do it, so why should I have to do it?”

At the end of that sentence was the only time my bride I were in in complete agreement to kill him. But one or the other of us usually changed our minds a fraction of a second after we should have gutted, scalped, and slow roasted him over hot coals and he survived yet another day.

I am so glad to be past his school years. Great kid but infuriatingly smart, logical, and laaaaaaazzzzzzyyyyyy. My mom's curse came true. I did end up with a kid just like me even though I purposley avoided spawning just to avoid mom's curse.

My bride asks her regularly why she cursed my bride too and what my bride ever did to my mom to deserve the curse.

Mom's answer ... you married HIM!!! Pointing at me. :?

You couldn't be more right about the schools making things too easy these days. When my SD's class does bad on a test, the teacher has them play a game. A team game so they can all help each other. The team that wins gets extra points on the test. The point conveniently equal the amount needed to get an A on the test. The losing team still gets points but they get less points, adding up to a B on the test. Pathetic. SD never has homework either.

I always find it bizzare, you go into a local shop here and you can buy maths and writing exercises for children from ages 3-4 up to 9-10/10-11 yet when it comes to teenagers theres little easily available.
My partner has started these writing exercises with SDstb4, and if there is little homework when she is in the upper school then there will be more done here.
Even know when you look at the methods used in schools for teaching, it is so different from when the parents were at school alot of parents struggle to help their own with the work.
Im not one that thinks kids should be having 3 hours of home work every night, particularly when you have kids that end up in afterschool care where they cant always do the work and by the time they are home its too late. But I do believe that kids should have homework, growing in difficulty and duration as their education increases, else they just flunk when it comes to college and university.

I've been hand-holding my DS14 all thru school. He's now a freshman, and honestly, it was exhausting and frustrating caring about his grades more than he did.

I announced that I was taking on the "fly or die" mentality. I don't look at his grades, I don't ask him if he has homework, I don't do anything because when I did it in the past, he's push back even harder.

Time will tell, especially since his grades determine his eligibility to play sports. He plays hockey, and although it's not a "school sanctioned sport" but a "club" it's still governed by this state's high school athletic association so he has to meet the same requirements (grades) that others do across the state.

He also knows if he loses his eligibility due to his grades, he will NEVER play again. Period. His choice, and he's old enough to be given that responsibility.

Total aside: I graduated in '87 too!

I also could have written this post. While bathing BS and BD, DW comes to me and says that SS's history teacher says he "may get an 80%" on his next report card (Nov 20).

I gave DW the Spock-eyebrow look and said "I'll believe it, when I see it."

SS is in Grade 9. He *should* be studying (on average) 1.5 hours a night. The MOST I have ever seen this kid study was 20 minutes. Most of the time, he is glued to his iPad.

And his progress report was Clear proof that he is fooling around in class.

Does it annoy me? Of course it does, but the standards I grew up in were FAR different. I had an A average all throughout high school AND I was on the swim team that went to the state finals; so there was swim practice EVERY! SINGLE! DAY! (and sometimes on Saturday mornings too). HS life for me was; wake up, school, swim practice, homework, sleep. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $20. I did more in one day than my SS does in a week. Dad said I should have been doing more, so I joined the Drama club and the Yearbook.

SS does eff-all! No extra-curriculars, no tutoring, no chores, NOTHING!!! I wouldn't mind if he was pulling A's and B's, but he is barely passing...

So I am with you Barkatthemoon, I hope he fails just so I can tear into DW.

I have seen it from both sides. The honors classes and AP classes really push these kids. The basic classes, they never have homework and the kids seem to skate through.

SS16 has almost all A's and B's in regular classes. Never has homework. BS19, had all honors and AP classes and was always doing homework. SD18 graduated with a 1.2 GPA. Didn't even know that was possible. Clearly she is part of the no child left behind...The high school they go to is one of the top ones in the state and has a 99% graduation rate. They were not going to let my SD screw up their stats. So she seemed to do really well at the end of the year and manage to graduate.