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What does your stepchild call you?

violet_petal's picture

Submitted by violet_petal on Sun, 10/26/2014 - 10:01pm

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I have a SD8 with a boyfriend of 5 years. Since we are not married I wasn't ever sure about her calling me mom. I would like to have a "cute" name to be called. I'm so not seen as a step mom, I don't even get a "step mom" mother's day gift. It really doesn't help our relationship.
So what do they call you?

kathc's picture

Submitted by kathc on Sun, 10/26/2014 - 10:39pm

First name.

I'd never allow any version of mom because I don't ever want anyone to think I'm responsible for that.

HMommy's picture

Submitted by HMommy on Mon, 10/27/2014 - 12:10am

BC I have two of my own Bio kids sometimes the kids accidentally refer to me as mom - and I don't encourage it. They refer to me as step mom and sometimes mommy-H (insert first name). I have been in their life since they were 2 & 4 and they're with us 50% of the time and take care of them with the same rules as my bio-kids and an outsider wouldn't be able to differentiate between the way I treat bios vs skids.

Somuchdrama's picture

Submitted by Somuchdrama on Mon, 10/27/2014 - 9:22am

They call me by my first name to my face. And then apparently something completely different to BM. That's okay, two can play at that game!

canigetabm's picture

Submitted by canigetabm on Mon, 10/27/2014 - 7:25pm

That's what I get nothing as I'm also invisible. But when speaking to others i'm recently referred to as "stupid girlfriend". Nice.

Somuchdrama's picture

Submitted by Somuchdrama on Tue, 10/28/2014 - 5:59am

Isn't that sweet? I am stupid SM and I actually do a lot for skids! The "stupid part" is funny because I have way more education than BM and you can actually understand me when I talk!

Stepintime0111's picture

Submitted by Stepintime0111 on Mon, 10/27/2014 - 12:46pm

First name here. One ss won't say my first name for some unknown reason so he shortens it to just the first letter of my name. Gave up trying to figure that one out long ago!

Calypso1977's picture

Submitted by Calypso1977 on Mon, 10/27/2014 - 1:19pm

to my face? first name. behind my back? your guess is as good as mine.

i dont see a need to have any sort of cute/special name. and as someoen else said, i would NEVER want to be called mom as i am embarrassed by my SD's antics and behavior to the point where i dont even want to be seen with her in public, knowing peopel probably think she's mine.

TinkLight's picture

Submitted by TinkLight on Mon, 10/27/2014 - 3:29pm

SS calls me by my first name. It's never been brought up that'd he'd have to call me step-mom or mom. It's whatever he's comfortable with. I also don't get a 'step-mom's gift for mother day, nor have I expected one (though it would be nice and thoughtful). Smile

TakemySKIDS's picture

Submitted by TakemySKIDS on Tue, 10/28/2014 - 3:19am

Same here. I can't even call my father in law by his first name I call him grandad.

Skids call me by my first name. Will die the day they call me mummy. They used to call me little cow in their mother's language but i caught them out.

i don't care what they call me because I really don't care about them much anymore. (I used to have mad love for them)

SecondGeneration's picture

Submitted by SecondGeneration on Tue, 10/28/2014 - 6:40am

My SD is stb4 and she uses a nickname, its a variation of the shortened version of my name. Its what some of my family call me, SD knows my real name but to be honest, I quite like the nickname version.

HungryEyes's picture

Submitted by HungryEyes on Tue, 10/28/2014 - 11:57am

My first name. Forever. My first name lol I don't want any cutesy name. I don't want presents on Mother's Day. I just want to be married to their father

violet_petal's picture

Submitted by violet_petal on Sat, 11/01/2014 - 12:01am

SD8's Bio mom actually asked me last Mother's day if I got anything from her. Not sure if she was genuine or rubbing it in that I'm not her mom.

violet_petal's picture

Submitted by violet_petal on Fri, 10/31/2014 - 11:59pm

How often does she see you? If she lives with you, feel you will get comfortable with it, and like her; I'd let her call you mom. Maybe call you mom"firstname". I would take it as a great compliment. If you're not in those positions then I would tell her why you don't want to be called "mom" and tell her what she should call you.

Glassslipper's picture

Submitted by Glassslipper on Tue, 10/28/2014 - 2:34pm

skids call me by my first name...
bios call DH by his first name for the most part, SS15 had a cute name for him, all his own when he was little, he rarely calls him that now...
I manage most all the house and all the happenings, so the kids and skids all come to me for "can I do this" "when are we leaving", they are close in age, they often travel in large groups to ask the same question...lol
I often would re-direct by saying "I don't know, go ask Dad" so after 6 years of that...sometimes my bios call him Dad, If my daughter wants something...she will sometimes ask "Dad, I was wondering..." and he is a sucker for it every time too...

Shaman29's picture

Submitted by Shaman29 on Tue, 10/28/2014 - 6:51pm

Skid addresses me by my first name.

And I do not get gifts from her, except once or twice at Christmas.

LindaKjl's picture

Submitted by LindaKjl on Sat, 11/01/2014 - 12:56pm

Violet, first of all I think it's pompous of you to even think that your BF's daughter should call you mom. You are NOT anywhere near her MOM. Furthermore, even IF you and BF get married, the girl has a mom. You are not and will never be her mom. You are and will always be Violet. Comprendo?

P.S. To think that you should receive a gift on "Mother's Day" is the epitome of gall.

hippiegirl's picture

Submitted by hippiegirl on Sat, 11/01/2014 - 3:15pm

By my first name. MY SS tried that calling me mom shit, but I put the brakes on that pretty fast. I am not his mom. I'm sorry that his mom is worthless, but it's really not my problem.

Gwynnafaye's picture

Submitted by Gwynnafaye on Mon, 11/03/2014 - 6:32am

My skids call me Mom, and my kids call DH Dad. This was their choice. We are the stable parents in their lives, and they consider our house home, and they visit the other parents. (We have my kids all but EOWe, we have his kids 50/50). My Bios consider DH to be their real dad, because he's actually a dad to them.

LuckyGirl's picture

Submitted by LuckyGirl on Mon, 11/03/2014 - 12:38pm

Rising- what do they call you? I'm curious too - and what is the language?

SDs call me by my first name.

SMLIFESUCKS's picture

Submitted by SMLIFESUCKS on Mon, 11/03/2014 - 2:33pm

SDs when they decide I'm worth talking to call me "first name". What they call me at BM's only god knows because I dont really care.

BM threw a hissy fit because my bd (now 9) was 5 at the time, told SD (now Dirol was 4 at the time, she could call me mommy and she would share her mommy. BM called DH, I wasn't even aware of it, apparently my BD was calling DH Daddy first name and they told her she couldn't so she was trying to share me so they wouldn't tell her she couldn't call DH "daddy first name" which we never asked her to do.

They were all young, DH told BM, no one but the kids were talking, he handled it and no "sm" didn't even know about it.

I dont want SDs to call me anything mom or related to that. Honestly they are DH's children, and not my family. They have made it that way, so the separation remains.

My BD use to call a friend of mine "mommy first name" and her husband "uncle daddy first name" but I didn't care because I knew I was her mom, she was young. Now she calls them that playing around, and it's a cute story from when she was little, she babysat my daughter.