I would lose it on SD6 if she did something like that to DD1. I don't blame you at all.

It's been happening more frequently lately where I leave the room for a minute and then hear DD start crying. When I come back into the room to see what happened, SD tells me that "she fell" or "she pushed me so I had to tell her not to" or something similar. I honestly don't know what to believe. DD can't tell me what happened, and it's a little too convenient that these things just happen as soon as I'm out of the room. I've also seen SD push DD away or avoid her when DD tries to touch her. I don't trust SD around DD anymore.

The worst part for me is that I don't think my husband will believe me if I tell him these things. He'll say that I hate SD, that she's a sweet little girl, that she's in a tough position, etc.

Sounds like you had an expected response to a ridiculous situation. Good for you for protecting your child!

A couple of years ago, after spending an entire week mostly alone with skids (DH was working) taking them to water parks, bowling, tennis, etc. and lots of complaining, I was making exactly what SS11 had requested for dinner. He tells me he wants ranch dressing and when I tell him I don't have any ranch dressing but he can have A, B, C or D he lets out the most ridiculous almost cartoon-sounding whine. I lost it. Slammed the refrigerator door and said loudly "I can't fucking take it anymore!" Walked out of the room, took two deep breaths, walked back in and apologized thoroughly and profusely.

As a step, I am not allowed even this one mistake. DH tried to tell me I was abusive to his kids because of that incident and BM threatened to stop all visitation for the rest of time. Forget that I've heard both bio parents yell at the top of their lungs at these children. Grrrr!

The other day. After opening the dish washer for the hundredth time to see how it was ran essentially half full while the sink is still full of dirty dishes.... AND after being denied the full movement of the lower rack because someone had forced it into the washer jamming the taller utensils up into the bottom of the upper rack..... I paused, took a deep breath and yanked the bottom rack right out of the dish washer, onto the floor. SS13 was there and witnessed the whole thing. My voice rose to levels he had never heard before. "Learn to load the fucking dish washer or youll start washing and drying every GD dish by hand! Now get out of here and go to your room!" He ran to his room, sat on his bed, head lowered and waited for his mom for at least an hour. During that hour, however, I had cooled down and thought that I had possibly went too far. I didnt make that big of a deal about it with his mom. We all just went in, cleaned it up and he and his sister washed and dried dishes by hand that night.

Thats the first time I snapped with the skids..... of course this wasnt solely due to the dishwasher not being loaded correctly. Its partly because of that and because the rest of the dirty dishes were mostly theirs. Its partly because every time they get into any food in the kitchen, they leave it sitting out and open when theyre done. Theyre coats and shoes and school bags litter the dining room and they have to be told every single day to take them to their room so we can use the dining room... The list goes on...

and I just wanted a clean spoon to stir my coffee......

No I haven't but only because of my super human Darth Vader mind power over myself.

If I lost my shit like I have wanted/needed to, you would probably see me on the news

I have endured, lies to my face when I have SEEN the truth, the truth of hitting their 2 year old brother, the truth of entirely wrapping the brother in thick mattress plastic, of shitting in the bathroom sink, of leaving USED sanitary napkins in the middle of their bedroom floor (we ALL have to walk towards and past this bedroom to get to ours) and they have survived back chatting and yelling at me along with surly looks and door slamming.

They are teenagers now, I am just waiting for the day they hit me....one has already shouldered pushed me on the upstairs landing....when they actually strike me...all hell is going to be unleashed.

I can't wait

Yup. Sure have.

No regrets! }:)

Yes I have. Many times. I may be female but SS11 can drive me to the point where I cuss like a sailor. The lies, whining. Been there, still there. DH is a widower so there is no crazy ex to worry about but sometimes he gets onto me for not being more understanding. I get that this kid has no mom but since when does this give him a license to be a little $#i+ all the time?

DH's adult daughter tried to get involved in a parenting/discipline issue a few years back that involved my then 3 year old and SD (her half sister) who was 7 at the time. Adult skid was accusing my little one of lying, DH and I were both telling her to butt out...I ended up chasing her up the stairs, DH trying to catch me and he did...if not, I probably would have beat her within an inch of her life for talking to my little one the way she did. Not my proudest moment as an adult. Most definitely not. That day set off a series of events from which I still suffer today. I should have left the moment that my then boyfriend allowed another person to get involved in how our family operates. He has seen the light,must it took far too long and there is so much damage that I can't pull myself up and rise above. I'm having a really bad life.

This is exactly the kind of shit that occurs when kids are allowed to get away with inappropriate behavior for extended periods of time and exactly why I have always had a zero tolerance standard for inappropriate behavior from any kid in my presence whether they are mine or not.

On many occasions I have asked for an incorrigible kid be to be removed from a restaurant I was eating at. “Excuse me Mr/Ms Server. Please have that child removed so that the rest of us with well behaved children can eat in peace. If you are uncomfortable dealing with it please bring your manager to my table. Thank you.” I have even been known to turn to a table of idiot parents with a kid or kids running amok around the restaurant and told them to deal with their bratty kid or I would. I am not talking about special needs kids. I am talking about kids with idiots for parents who insist on suffering the presence of their nastily behaved children on the public.

My parents did not tolerate their children pitching a fit in public and neither did my DW and I.

If I won’t accept that crap from my own kid/nieces/nephews I sure as shit will not tolerate it from anyone else’s spawn in my presence.

Instead of being upset to tears by this crap I suggest that you come down on this ill-behaved little shit like an ton of shit in a sandwich baggy. Each and every time she pulls this kind of crap. If DH does not like you dealing with his devil spawn tell him if he does not like how you are parenting his kid then he can step up and get it done before you have to or he can STFU.

Don't get me wrong. I have lost it on SS and I did feel bad about it a few times over the years. I worked through my feelings of guilt, reviewed the incident, adjusted a bit, and dealt with the next incident a bit differently but I did deal with each and every subsequent incident. I tolerated no bullshit.

Zero tolerance. Either DH deals with it to your satisfaction or you deal with it.

IMHO of course.