Permission????? NEVER. Mutual discussion, all the time.

He sounds like a control freak. And what his kids said to you all those years ago was so inappropriate.

Just do it !!!!!
What does his kids coming home have anything to do with replacing the windows.

If you have someone do the windows they clean up everything !!!

That's improving the value of your home ... That should be no question. IF you can afford it ~ it is it going to be a burden financially then your wrong ...

Wait....this is coming out of your pocket and not joint funds? And he feels you need his permission??

I would inform H of my plans and ask for any input (mainly because he's in the building and restoration biz) but ask his permission if I was using my own money?

BWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Ummmm...no...

The new windows will save on heating and cooling - eventually paying for themselves. DH and I put new windows in our last house - the difference (no drafts, lower electricity bill)was wonderful. DH and I usually agree on major purchases like you do but he has never told me he would not give me 'permission' to do something. He DOES drag his feet when it comes to getting some jobs done. If it doesn't get done soon enough for my taste, I start the job myself - and his ego takes over. LOL

But I agree with the above statement - if it is coming out of your own pocket, he has no say what-so-ever.

I discuss things with my DH and get his opinion, but I don't need his permission to do anything.

I guess I am lucky. My DH will work and work to make it in working order. However ..... I want a complete kitchen reno. With my plans it may involve ripping out drywall and re-siting things like the oven and kitchen sink. So this is not something I can do next week or even next year. If I want it reno'd he said I get one shot at it so make it exactly as you want it because there is no going back. Fair enough. But he knows it IS coming.

My aunt and uncle had a re-vamp house. An old villa they worked on for 20+ years. My uncle was dragging his feet about fixing one of the last little things. After 6 months my aunt got someone in (who had the job done in 2 hours). My uncle was not happy. But she pointed out it is done, she paid for it and now he doesn't have to worry about it.

You DH needs to consider how much warmer his kiddie-winkles will be when they trudge through 6 ft of snow to stay in your nice warm cosy home in winter. Not to mention the lower heating bill. Or tell him the next time he wants to use the toilet paper YOU buy he better damned well ask permission before wiping his arse. What a wanker...

Permission? No. Input and opinions? Yes!

This sounds to me to be a fairly common miscommunication/understanding issues. You did not start a home improvement project. You requested some estimates.

DH is way over reacting IMHO but ..... you would have been well served to have discussed it with him before hand, told him when you were going to have someone come do it if he did not get it done, then executing.

My own parents are working through a remodle on their now 15yr old retirement home. There have been some frustrations on both sides but generally they are working together and are aligned on the basics.

Reset, engage on the window topic, and work out an agreed plan forward to getting new windows.

It sounds to me that both of you are not focusing on the goal (new windows)and are allowing the glass to get in the way of the windows (forest/trees, Aligators/draining the swamp, etc....)

I think these situations require prior discussion, set a date, it gets done as discussed, or ............ it is outsourced as discussed.

Just about like you seem to always have been doing it.

If what you have are double paned and noble gas filled then the benefits are only marginal to upgrade. Occassionally the seal for a nitrogen filled double pane panel will fail. Replace only the panes that start to cloud and have water condence between the glass. Cheap and easy.

Low E, etc, etc, etc..... are great if you have them when the home is purchased but offer only marginal improvements over a builder's grade if that is what you have.

I have worked as an all lines adjuster and have purchased countless $hundreds of thousands of replacements for windows damaged in hurricane, windstorm, hail, tornado prown areas. According to several of my policy holders the biggest improvement is found when replacing casement or single pane window units with a double pane unit. Replacing a double pane unit with an improved double pain unit does not gain all that much benefit in insulation or energy consumption.

At least in my experience.

I do now have permission but it took him nearly killing himself to realize he needed help. The stay at the mental hospital and months of therapy helped get his head in order as to the reality of the issues and that I was on his side !

My husband is an absolute penny pincher so I an see this being our situation. We had a similar situation several years back actually. We bought this house with no back yard so I thought it would be great to put in plants and an in-ground water system....where we lived was dry and sprinkles weren't going to work. I found cheap work to put in the sod and do the piping for the under ground sprinkling system. He hit the roof with the plants. [Really?] When we sold the house, which we did profit from,it was the plants/landscaping that sold the house and as much as I wanted to rub into hubby's face I knew it would do no good. The new owners loved what I had done to the outside of the house.

It seems much like the same situation here.

I feel your pain. I think my DH would live in a shack. He would rather piss money away on looking like the big dog. I sent you a message...good luck.