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Daddy's girl?

Newimprvmodel's picture

Submitted by Newimprvmodel on Fri, 10/03/2014 - 9:08pm

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Adult Stepchildren

At first I was surprised to see a Facebook pic of dh's oldest daughter and her boyfriend. He is obviously a good 15 years older than she. That is not what struck me, but rather he looks very much like her father--they could be brothers! Uncanny resemblance. This is the one who hates dh, and really has not had any contact in over 5 years, other than to pop in for collection of some monies. The next thought that popped in my head was poor bastard, he likely is a codependent like her father and he will come to regret ever laying his eyes on her, less alone procreating spawn like herself. No joke, these witches have been going strong for THREE generations that I know of.
So, there is definite proof to all the psycho babble out there.
And on another note, dh is not running this semester to visit his other daughter at college. Not this semester at least!

Newimprvmodel's picture

Submitted by Newimprvmodel on Fri, 10/03/2014 - 9:13pm

Actually I just read an article that you might marry someone who looks like your father if you have felt abandoned by them, I guess you are attempting subconsciously to resolve the issue. However, it seems this does not make for a healthy relationship.

Newimprvmodel's picture

Submitted by Newimprvmodel on Fri, 10/03/2014 - 10:24pm

Well I think it is interesting that in looks, he just is a carbon copy of my dh, her father. And for someone who hates her father so much, isn't it funny how she dates someone who is his twin? She will be very fortunate if she ends up with someone who gas qualities like her father, as opposed to her mother. A mother who is extremely selfish and narcissistic. But I have observed is that the narcissists don't marry people like themselves. They much prefer the adoring, dependent types who will worship them. This was her parents relationship. It is funny how our parents influence us so much, even if we can't stand them.

AVR1962's picture

Submitted by AVR1962 on Sat, 10/04/2014 - 2:10am

I have been married twice and I can tell you in each case I realize I married a man who is more like my mom, and she is the parent i had the most issues with. I have read books that say that we marry a person like our parental figures and that we have to learn to resolve the issues we had with the parent within our own marriage. Many of us do not ever get the chance to resolve our issues with the parent. I feel the author is right on target from my own experiences.

As far as the finance, the thing is that some are always blind to what you see and are perfectly happy to be the puppet on the string. It's hard to predict someone future.

AVR1962's picture

Submitted by AVR1962 on Sun, 10/05/2014 - 2:10am

Had to think for minute.....DONM stands for "daughter of a narcissistic mom" and to answer your question, yes. I am the scapegoat child. My sister, year younger, is the golden child. My dad is codependent and carries out my mom's dirty deeds without blinking his eyes. He is like my mom's robot.

Spent three years in counseling to understand the dynamics of my family and work on myself to try to change who I am so I can live a healthier life. I feel I am doing better. I went no contact with my mom almost 3 years ago. The things she has done are just nuts! I saw blame headed my way over something she did and this time I decided I was finally finished with her games and have not contacted her since, and she has not contacted me. I must pay for my horrible actions against her is no doubt her train of thought.

sandye21's picture

Submitted by sandye21 on Wed, 10/08/2014 - 11:43am

Me too. I still have contact but very limited. Only 'weather reports', no narcissistic 'fuel'.

Newimprvmodel's picture

Submitted by Newimprvmodel on Sat, 10/04/2014 - 8:23am

This is the one that moved to the other coast, not the youngest. And this one did actually post a quote (the ones that make the rounds on the internet)on her FB page awhile ago that read something like this " Dear Daddy, No matter how far I go or how many guys I date, when I marry, you will always be my NUMBER ONE MAN. Love, you little girl.
Now I thought this was weird when I had first seen it months ago. Any takers?
This girl has always been tightly enmeshed with her mother, and brutal to her sister, who no surprise, worships the two, and vilifies my dh.
Ok, I will spill my guts about what I found most creepy about this girl.
She had an abortion during summer months when she was like 21. Refused to speak with dh about it, and he was told about it through her mother. Now this is the shocking part. I was stunned to see that November , she had changed her FB pic to be one of herself, looking 9 months pregnant! Dh was stunned as well, and then said that he had the bill for the abortion, so WTF?? We were able to gleam that this was her Halloween costume, supposed to be pregnant Kim kardashian? Loads of pics posted from party with her plastered looking.
Sick, sick sick.

z3girl's picture

Submitted by z3girl on Sat, 10/04/2014 - 8:41am

Yikes! I always told myself I wouldn't ever marry anyone like my father. There are two minor traits that he has that have always annoyed the crap out of me. (Yawning loudly...practically yelling, and sneezing really loud). I remember telling my DH these things. And guess what...DH does these!!! Ah!!

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sun, 10/05/2014 - 1:54pm

At some level I believe we all use the model of our parents in our life choices. For those that won the parent lottery this is obviously a good thing. For those that lost the parent lottery, it can be far from a good thing.

The good news is that at some point even the baggage we inherit from our parents becomes our problem to solve .... or not.

SugarSpice's picture

Submitted by SugarSpice on Wed, 09/09/2015 - 11:41am

my father was kind and giving man who would not hurt a flea. my dh is a man who is in love with his daughters.