I'm not really going to send this. Just venting today. She won't stick to the custody agreement. He is going to court.

Dear BIO MOM ______

I know that we haven’t met in person but I am your ex husband’s fiancé.

I know we haven’t had the opportunity to shake hands and say hello (Neither one of us has made the effort) but there has been a sort of going back and forth between you and my fiancé, you and the kids and (of course) between my fiancé and I and, well, we know at least a bit about each other.

You know that I’m an educator- I got your message from the kids that you “asked some people where I work about me and they said I was a nice person” and I appreciated that. I know that you’re a nurse. I’m more than a little familiar with your hectic schedule and I hope it got back to you through the kids that I defended your rules about bedtime etc pointing out that it’s difficult to keep three kids on a schedule when you have a crazy schedule yourself. I hope you can appreciate my continual attempt to have a good relationship and my genuine concern for three sweet adolescents who did not ask to have their lives and family pulled apart by divorce.

You may be wondering why I am writing to you, though, and why I would type your current last name in all caps.

I emphasized your last name because THAT is your CURRENT last name. It is no longer _________________. I understand that you have to have it on Facebook so your old friends who knew you as my fiance’s wife can still find you but your current surname is ________________ and unless/until you find the opportunity to change it again (Congrats on the 1 year anniversary by the way!)

I’m reminding you this because I don’t think you completely understand how divorce works. I know that you’re new at it and all but seriously...when you divorce someone you no longer have the right to CALL or TEXT INCCESSANTLY. When you divorce someone the calls and texts should be directly related to the kid’s needs.

Additionally, being divorced means you don’t get to know what my fiancé (Your EX) is doing in his private time. That’s means asking the kids what he is doing, having them call when he doesn’t answer your calls, or calling the kids every half hour at his house “just to see if he is home with them” is not appropriate behavior. I have documented in a calendar the calls and texts that went on seven days a week and it gets old. Are you already bored in your new relationship?

It means you do not get to interrupt every date I have with my soon to be husband and give him guilt trips about the infrequent time that he spends with me. Relax. We take the kids on movie nights and ball games and spooky trail rides and for ice cream as often as we can.

You are also mind-raping the children when you tell them things like “FSM doesn’t like me (I don’t but I would never tell them that and that’s not something their little hearts need to be troubled with.) and “FSM uses your Dad’s money and that’s why you can’t have name brand clothes etc.” You are keenly aware that I make double what he does (Not that it’s any of your business) and you know full well I pay for 80% of everything we do. Also, it’s NONE of your damn business what MY fiancé spent on OUR engagement ring and the children are not starving for his having bought it so that comment was below the belt.

Can we agree not to post derogatory comments and quotes on Facebook? Your continual posts concerning “What a Dad really is are hurtful to my D-fiance and again, mind-raping your children to believe their Dad is a bad person. When he confronted you told the kids we were stalking your Facebook. Can this stop please?

Please stop questioning random people on what I am like and asking the kids what I spent on them whenever I am with them. Also, telling SD13 that I am now responsible for buying all three kids school clothes because I am now “Part of the family” is bulls$#@ and you know it. Putting me in the position of having to tell a thirteen year old that, yes, I like her…but no, I’m not going to buy their school clothes was disgusting of you.

I’m not sure where you can go to find assistance in learning to be a better divorced person with children but I would advise you for the sake of you kids to do something fast because you are messing with their heads and teaching them to be manipulative and dishonest.

I’d tell you to find a church, but I know your addiction to screwing church guitarists when you are married might be a roadblock to hearing the word and getting any help.

Lastly, I know that in your conversation today with my fiancé you told him that you want the kids Monday through Friday and he gets them Saturday and Sunday but that is NOT the 50/50 agreement…nor is that fair to us and our relationship. You’re a selfish disgusting person.

Thanks for taking the time to read this and good luck on that fidelity thing.

Sincerely,
His Upgrade