I feel the same way, my SD lives in another state but still gets under my skin, she calls Daddy every day after Work (this use to be me and my DH's routine). I just want her to get a frigigin life and focus on that and leave mine alone! Ugh

Amen sista !!!!

I hear ya !!!

My DF acknowledges how I feel but ...... It's his daughter.

She is not permitted in my home ~ until I receive an apology n I know that will never happen. Her mission is for her father to end his relationship w me. I can't see that happening in his eyes they way he speaks of retiring with me.

I however ~ am questioning so my much lately.

The cycle that has happened is ridiculous. I called everything that has happened. I know he loves me ~ but I am gradually losing respect for him. He has spoken to his daughter about her behavior but she chooses to justify her actions. How as a father can you sit with yourself when you child is so self absorbed ~ how does nothing he says penetrate her mind. How can she be so evil n most people in his family agree that she is vile but say nothing. Saying nothing to her ~ is like her thinking she is the golden child n she should continue being a douchebag

I will continue to stand vigilant on this issue ~ she will never be allowed in my home. . The only way things change is if she apologizes for her wrong doings. Resentment will set in soon ~

How do you say but she's my daughter ~ with all that she has done. ! Don't get it.

I am the same way.... My mind is CONSUMED with the what ifs, why the hells, why am I staying in this shit, my son would never get away with what the SS's do....... I have yelled at myself to stop it. Just because I am really, seriously, going f**king insane.

Keep on posting here. I used to be angry as hell all the time and SD has been up and out for almost ten years.

I didn't have ST when she was here. I felt like everything was my fault and I'd failed miserably in every possible way.

Having never been around people in these situations I had no frame of reference.

So many things were so horribly wrong that should have been fixed but I thought I was just too sensitive or overreacting jealous and all that other bullshit they tell us.

Even though I'm not dealing with it anymore it helps me to read here and realize I did try my best and I can finally stop beating myself up ober everything.

So many things in stepland are so painful. It will probably take a lot of time to heal.

Keep posting keep doing therapy. Things will get better.

Hang in there.

(((((Hugs)))))

I don't know your story, but I felt your pain before I decided this is not my cross to carry. Evil decided to incarnate in some of these kids, what can you do. Life has a way to humble people. Time will make you stronger. Count your blessings that she is gone. But yes, talking to a therapist or priest or something will help you through the anger. After that, you can start rebuilding yourself again.

There are web sites that will sell you the items you need to cast a spell or a hex or you could see a counselor. A good counselor will be able to give you the tools you need in just a few sessions and you should be well on your way by the end of about 8 weekly sessions. It's not a lengthy process so don't let them stretch it out. If you're not being helped after 3 or 4 see another counselor.

I broke up with my Fiance last night over FSD! I still can't believe that he refused to see my point that how clingy she has been to him over all the occasions I have been there. Constantly interrupting, attention grabbing, I felt in a corner. After 3 events like that we had a face to face talk last night. I was blamed for not having enough patience, where I raised my stepson for 21 yrs! He was a Disney dad and recently his 19 yr old came to live with him, I guess he is still in this mode, scared to discipline her.

We got along so well together..my two kids (live w me) accepted him (not too happy) but they do not cling to me. I saw a red flag of his not supporting me for any issues involving his daughter, so I returned the ring.

Any comment? did I do the right thing?

Hi Lavender, I think you DID the right thing. I wish I had more red flags early on, I would not have stayed. it usually doesn't get better if daddy thinks their princess can do no wrong. It's a long lonely road.

p.s. I think you should start a new topic for this quesion. you might receive some good support and info.I

If YOU feel better now then yes you did the right thing.

If he doesn't care about your feelings why waste even a millisecond worrying about his?

Don't lose any sleep over it and find someone better

Started a new topic. Thanks all. Have a blessed day.

The problem is that in dwelling endlessly on these things the only person we are hurting is ourselves. We're just multiplying the harm that negative stepchildren have been able to inflict on our lives when we spent hours brooding and fuming and reliving. Even when contact with the children themselves has pretty much terminated.

I have spent nearly 3 years on and off, reliving the same cycle of anger and hurt and confusion and resentment over issues with my stepchildren, particularly my stepson, who decided aged 14 to have nothing to do with me, despite the fact I had been a pretty nice stepmum to him since he was 6. Recently I had some counselling and my counsellor talked about the way that the mind can get into a rut where you just keep perpetuating the same negative thought patterns, and suggested CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy). There are quite a lot of self help CBT tutorials online. Writing down the triggers that set off those thought patterns, and thinking about your physical and emotional responses is supposed to help you understand and shut down those trains of thought before they get underway. It takes effort and it's early days for me but anything is better than wasting my thoughts on people who don't give a second thought to me.

It will fade with time. For 17+ years of our CO we had Sperm Clan crama to deal with. My SS-22's SPerm Clan are toothless drama whores who are far more interested in putting effort in to destroying other peoples lives and happiness than being successful and happy themselves.

I learned to relish in barring their asses and I made their legal, social, financial, and spiritual destruction my hobby for most of the 17+ years that we lived under my SS's Custody/Visitation/Support order. I was very good at my chosen hobby.

When SS turned 18 and aged out from under the CO I had major adjustment issues as I had been so programmed to kick their asses that when the drama ended it was a major change for me.

Over the past 4 years of being past the CO I have transitioned to enjoying the empty nester time I have with my bride and the good times we have with the Skid now that he has put his Sperm Clan mostly in his rear view mirror. They still are toothless drama whore morons but now that there is no CO there is no interface between my wife and I and them and there is no way they can inject their drama in to our lives. Even the SKid has minimized their dramatic influence on his life.

We still enjoy the periodic crash and burn news from Sperm Land but it is a passive activity these days rather than a life consuming activity to protect the SKid and our family from their crap.

So, until your toxic Skid is truly gone (ages out from under the CO) focus on destroying her and her toxic crap and when she is gone engage in the drama free live with your DH.

It all does fade with time.

At least it did in our case.