Help for lonely step mum
Ok I will keep this short. I am a mum to 3 and a stepmum to 3. I am also a full time carer for my hubby due to illness an serve depression. The 2 older steps have both ran away from bio mum due to her emotional abuse etc telling them their dad hates them for years an making them hate me an also telling them she hoped they would die an that if hubby wasn't with me he would be their with her an the kids which is bull as I didn't even meet hubby til about 3 years after they broke up. Anyway now the 2 older ones were living with us but hubby told them they had to leave due to the emotional abuse they were inflicting on me my kids an their dad with their dad ending up in hospital multiple times due to stress an panic attacks. The youngest still lives with bio mum an holidays are coming up again. Me an hubby spoke an agreed that she can come next time as I am exhausted an hubby just sleeps all day long. The step really doesn't come to see me or dad she spends the whole time with my daughter an comely ignores us. She only rings before holidays start an the rest of the year we don't hear from them. The steps are jealous as me an hubby have raised my kids an they love him dearly but that's not my fault or my kids. Hubbys kids treat hubby an us like crap, they only ring when they want something like before holidays or bdays etc. because of the way they act they have destroyed any real loving relationship they would of had with hubby but they still try to blame me. Bio mum has told some many lies but bio mum just asked hubby what was happening for holidays an hubby said we don't know yet? Will let you know even though he agreed to give me a break. Bio mum an steps guilt hubby into anything they want but treat him like crap. I'm really angry as hubby does not see how much I have to do. Step is old enough to look after herself but it's not just that. It's the extra washing, cleaning, cooking an the fact I have to worry about how we are going to afford to feed everyone. No one knows how hard it is to live with someone with serve depression, it's the hardest job walking around on eggshells, scared to talk just incase you say the wrong thing. An yes hubby takes medication that does not work plus he has counciling. Me well I just have to look after everyone with no help at all an no thanks just steps running back to bio telling lies about me that really hurt. I just want to know why hubby seems to care more about bio mums feelings instead of mine an my exhaustion. My health is going to suffer soon enough an then who looks after everyone?
Since you're the only one
Since you're the only one capable of taking charge tell your husband that this year the step-children are not coming to the home and he should plan of meeting them elsewhere for the holidays. This will limit the visits to a few hours and that finances dictate that only token gifts will be given to all 6 children.
Hopefully once the step-kids experience the minimal gift giving they'll stop showing up even for the abbreviated holidays.
Thanks guys, only problem
Thanks guys, only problem with that is sd lives 5 hours away from us so she will arrive on a train to out house an be staying for 2 weeks. Can't afford for hubby an her to stay at a hotel or anything an I know from experience hubby wouldn't anyway. One time the 3 of them came a couple years ago. My parents knew someone how had a beach house that we could use cheap for 3 nights so I sent hubby an his kids their an told them to spend some quality time. Hubby lasted 1 night an said he couldn't stand it an so they all came back home. Because of hubby's injury he doesn't drive anymore, he suffers serve depression, takes a lot of medication everyday, an most days his day is like this. Gets up at 12pm lunch time. Has a coffee maybe something to eat. Stays up for about an hour or 2. Says he's tired goes back to bed, wakes up again around 5 or 6pm maybe later sometimes earlier. Sits on his computer playing games until about 4am an does it all over again the next day. So you see why I think it's pointless that sd come to stay as he won't spend any time with her anyway an to be honest after the other 2 treated me so badly over the last couple of years I try to distance myself from my youngest sd so I don't get hurt again. I don't understand how I'm suppose to just do everything an get nothing back at all except these sd going back an telling lies to bio mum. 1 lie this sd told a couple years ago was I said she wasn't allowed to come an stay anymore unless she called me mum!!!! WTF she also hasn't learnt to be hygienic at all which annoys me as I'm very clean. She will go to the toliet an not wash her hands. She will even while having her periods not change her undies the whole time she stays. I only know this as I do the washing an her undies are never their. I have told her to put all her washing in the laundry her tshirts an stuff are their but she has a shower an puts the same undies back on!!!!! The older 2 do the same thing!!!! I just find that discusting. I understand if she's embarrased an wants to take them home to bio mum that's fine with me but she doesn't as bio mum makes them wash their own clothes an if they can't use the machine then they don't get washed. Hubby has spoken to her about this but doesn't change anything. Even having a shower she maybe has 1 for 2 weeks an that if we make her. I'm just over being everyone's maid an getting nothing in return. I feel if hubby is just going to sleep if he's unwell them she doesn't come. I've spoken to hubby an every time he says no he's fine he will look after her an help me out an it's all good then after about an hour after she arrives once again he's in bed!
Yes well just waiting for her
Yes well just waiting for her to text like she did last time an I will be telling her
I know hubby will have the shits with me