3 unruly boys..
Hello all 
New member, 1st post! So happy to find a place to get advice, perspective, and maybe just vent lol. So here it is, fall for man who has 3 boys with his ex, 4, 7 and 10. When they separated, she moves them out of state, 5 hrs away. He sees them for birthdays, holidays, and a week in the summer, pays his child support and their cell phone bills (his, hers and the oldests).
They are your typical rambunctious young boys, and having basically no rules at mom's house, it was a large adjustment for all. By the end of the 3 week visit this summer, they had adapted well and I thought we had developed a fairly good rapport. They are home now, and while I cannot say I miss them (yes, yes, I'm selfish and nonmaternal) but I'm flattered they each want to talk to me on their nightly phone call to dad, but the past week has been strange..
The youngest one has stopped wanting to talk to me. Has told his dad he doesn't want him 'hanging out' with me, that he wants him hanging out with Mommy. He's 4... I'm wondering if he's been coached into saying these things?
His mother lives with the man she left their dad for, so I'm unsure something of that nature would come from her, and the other two seem completely unphashed.
I don't have children so I don't know if this if an age appropriate comment or what. Thoughts?
Un-phased as in not bothered
Un-phased as in not bothered by it?
Sure its normal behavior. Until he saw you it was just a concept - difficult for a 4 year old. While with you two it was an adventure - Dad was probably going to take them home now. But after he got home it hit, well, home.
Coached? Not likely since its just the one.
Remember bio-mothers have a nasty habit of dying, getting admitted to psychiatric wards, jailed and running off with the gardener. When you're living with a guy with kids you can go to bed and wake to being the mother of three. :O
Unphased as in the two older
Unphased as in the two older ones still ask to speak to me during the nightly phone call.
This just seems odd given the youngest being my lil shadow and always wanting to be on my lap while with us. And for 6 weeks fought his brothers to speak to me first on the phone then this?
And I do understand that if something happened to her, the children would be living here. Hopefully, for all involved, that never happens. Thank you very much for the insight.
I'm new here too and am
I'm new here too and am future step mom to three kids as well! (SS11, SS14, and SD13) I don't have any advice because I'm a newbie, just engaged so I'll let the seasoned experts here respond with advice, but I just wanted to say "Welcome" and I know how you feel!
Hello new step mom! So nice
Hello new step mom!
It is a tough situation but not impossible. I am a child of divorce so I am aiming for a much more positive experience than what I was given. Congrats on the engagement 
So nice of you for the warm welcome, and same to you
Four is such a weird age.
Four is such a weird age. And no, if the older two don't seem any different then I don't think BM is "coaching" him. It could be anything, honestly. He could have seen some Disney Special about parents getting back together (The Parent Trap, anyone?), some kid at preschool could have said something, you just don't know.
What is Dad doing to address it? You said, "Has told his dad he doesn't want him 'hanging out' with me, that he wants him hanging out with Mommy." What did Dad say in response? Because (within age appropriate bounds), Dad should me making it clear to the kid(s) that YOU are not the reason he's not with Mommy. That Mom and Dad just don't work together, but that both of them will always be Mom and Dad. So, something like, "Your Mom and I found that we don't get along so well when we hang out together, it just doesn't work. We both love YOU and hanging out with YOU though." (Never ever something like, "No, I'm with Lainey now!" which makes it sound like if you were out of the picture then it might be possible.)