I love my two step kiddos to pieces and we have a wonderful relationship. My SD12 and I are very close and love spending time together.

She gets picked on often because she has terrible allergies and breaks out badly. I'm teaching her to stand above all that, teaching her confidence, teaching her to make smart decisions, and teaching her to have her own style while we shop for clothes for her. I'm teaching her not to let anyone tell her how to feel..how to dress..that she is beautiful no matter what..and that to have her own style..well that's just a statement of the person she is and she should be proud of that.

My SD and I have a blast on our girls days out and she thrives on spending time with me. I can see the confidence in her grow, while in addition, she thrives on our "girl talks" It's a fun, giggle fest for us and so much fun as she asks me how it was for me when I was her age and we share silly stories and laugh until our sides ache.

She's also a big "Daddy's Girl" and I have no problem with the time they spend together either...I encourage it and often stand back so they can spend Daddy and daughter time, just the two of them.

However..it's my hubby that all of a sudden is having a problem with this. We both know she gets picked on in school and while I'm teaching her to stand above it, etc. HE all of a sudden must feel like he's losing control or something as he's now telling me that I'm telling him how to raise his daughter.

We had a HUGE argument this afternoon about this..that how dare I tell him how to raise his daughter when I told him that I try to be the best stepmom I can be..teaching her to believe in herself, stand above all the teasing, create her own clothing style which other's might soon follow, etc. She's not my own daughter, but a mini me and I think he's growing to hate that as he told me, "Don't EVER tell me how to raise my daughter..I'm her Dad and I'll take care of her.."

:jawdrop:

At one time he was all over mine and her relationships but now he's regretful of it??

He told me that he was more than capable of taking care of her and played down the position I had in their lives as a step mom. Told me several times that I had no place in telling him how to raise his daughter and it was HIS place to take care of her..not mine.

Again.. :jawdrop:

Okie dokies honey..I guess I'll just stand back and watch you spoil her rotten, etc.

Jealous Daddy Syndrome big time?? However, I knew it'd be coming sometime...it was just too easy as he loved the way I was with his kids until this last Mother's Day when all of a sudden the kids bought me things ALL ON THEIR OWN..which made me feel beyond good. However..Daddy being miles and miles away and not TELLING them to do it..all of a sudden he's losing control and that the kids might really love me for what I'm teaching them.

Again, hubby and I discussed it today and went around and 'round with him "being able to take care of his own daughter.." and "How dare I tell him how to raise his daughter.." The argument was pointless and the bottom line was that I saw him feeling like he was losing control working so far away.

He told me that he was ready to take two weeks of vacation and come home as soon as he could. That he missed his family and this is where he belonged.

Duh!!

This was HIS choice..to work so far away. He told me that this is the work he does..he knew no other..and he needed to make money. Now all of a sudden he's realizing what he's missing and wants to come home ASAP...

He never should have left.

As I've held down the fort here at our home, taken care of as many things as I can by myself, finally found a part time job that I love, done my best to stay close to my step kiddos, etc. and have somehow succeeded in all of it...he gets all over me for doing all the right things regarding teaching my SD how to handle things on her own (oh my..without DADDY?? Oh dear lord!!), and how DARE she learn any sort of independence!!

At one time I was the best step mom in the world and now..SD isn't calling Daddy as much. She's growing up..getting confident, independent, and learning how to do things with her time WITHOUT her Daddy?? Oh my..I guess I should step back now as I'm doing waay too much to teach her all the things she needs to know growing up.

BAD BAD STEPMOM~~!!

I guess I'll need to shut my mouth from now on!!