I don't know, I kind of see both points here. On the one hand, no, you're not wrong for not wanting to take birth control. But you're kind of putting it all on him (exactly what you're accusing him of doing). Either he abstains from sex with you or it means he's not really committed to you? I think that's kind of a stretch, to be honest. You don't really agree about birth control and whether each of you is ready for a baby. And each of you is entitled to their own view on that, without it *necessarily* meaning the relationship is doomed. But since you don't agree, the best you can do is say what you have - "Look, I'm not taking birth control. We can use condoms, but you know that's not 100% guarantee. I would be OK with having a baby with you at this point, so I'm willing to accept that risk. Whether or not YOU are willing to accept that risk is entirely up to you." And then just leave it be. You've made your point clear, you're not forcing him into agreeing with you or to make a decision. What he does at that point is up to him, as it should be. You're both adults, you both make your own decisions, and you both have to live with the consequences of those decisions whatever they may be.

Ummmm plan b has saved you multiple times. Birth control seems to be your best bet. If he is not willing to be in a committed relationship with you , and you want more. Why are you still there ??

If he is blankly telling you he is not ready why are you trying to change his mind. It's not working ~ ~ I wouldn't be in this relationship. Sounds like your timing is off. You want what you want and he doesn't want that. Don't try to change his mind ~ it won't be in your best interest.

O...kay. I guess I'm not understanding why taking Plan B is not an option for you. To me, it'd basically like a condom except after the fact. That's why it's called emergency contraceptive and not abortion.

So, with that in mind, is it because you want to get pregnant? Unless you actually want a child, not taking Plan B after a known accident is a very big risk and a stupid one to me. It's okay to be honest about it if you do want a kid, because to not take it seems to be swinging the favors to having one.

Obviously it's already too late to take it, but I think part of being an adult is making the best decision--not just an okay decision. Especially in light of the fact that we are in an age where contraceptives are not only legal, but so readily available.

You don't like what hormonal contraceptives do, there's non hormonal options like a copper IUD, or spermicide + condom together.

He is right in that he will not have sex with you without you being on some sort of birth control, because he can only control so much. It is absolutely his right to say he's not comfortable with having sex if you are not open to the idea of another contraceptive. In fact, I actually applaud him for it because he is actually thinking responsibly and like an adult. This is the kind of son I would hope to raise, but if you don't respect his request to minimize the odds of having a child he will not want, then you would not be the kind of woman I'd want him to be with.

He has a good head on his shoulders, either condoms plus female birth control or no sex at all. More than I can say for a lot of these other men with oops pregnancies.

I chart my cycle. I have since 2009. Ive had a few scares along the way but those were totally my fault as i knew i was taking a chance by having sex at a time when i knew i was not supposed to but did it anyway.

i HIGHLY recommend picking up "Taking Charge of your Fertility". YOu can self teach from that book.

what is it about hormonal contraception you don't like?

BC in 2014 has come a long way. Put it this way- I am much older than you, and typically not in the demographic to use many things. Because of the 'next to nothing' risk of some BC, my DR is good to prescribe.

Less stressful than Plan B

Condoms are so unreliable they might as well not even make them. I've had them come off, tear, break, etc. And Plan B is expensive, $50 a pop.

Your BF doesn't have a problem wearing a condom, so I don't think he's being selfish. Wearing a condom is pretty much the only thing he CAN do, short of vasectomy, and those are way more expensive than Plan B's.

You say you both agree that you want to get married and have kids, but last year when ya'll had your scare and had to take Plan B, he explained to you all the reasons why he wasn't ready to be a father.

So could it be possible that while you THINK you are both on the same page with marriage and kids, could it be your desire to get married and have kids is making you block out what he is saying about not being ready to be a father?

I think you need to have a heart to heart with your BF. You feel that if he REALLY wanted to get married/have kids, there should be no issue with just taking the risks of getting pregnant right now. Maybe he's not so certain about marriage/kids, hence the reason why he does not want you to get pregnant right now. And it could not even be uncertainty about the relationship, maybe he wants to make more money before ya'll make that more.

You need to tell him how you feel. Good luck to you.

I can see your concern about birth control. I was on the depo shot and then the pill for years & I got off the pill in August & my cycles are completely f'd. That being said, I still don't regret being on it because I would not have wanted an unplanned pregnancy with any of my exes.

There's not much more your bf can do than wear a condom when you think about it.

It sounds like you may not be on the same page regarding marriage and kids. Just because he had a kid with BM doesn't mean he wants another one (no offense). Take my DH for example, he never wanted to get married OR have kids, then BM tried to trap him with SD (obviously it didn't work) & he has no respect for her as a result.

I don't think anyone wants to be FORCED to be a parent. It should be something that is wanted and planned by both parties. If your bf really isn't ready to be a father, I think you should either find a form of birth control you are comfortable with or stop having sex with him.

"I would like to be celibate. That was my first suggestion after the issue came up. He threw it out and I feel like using a condom is just asking for a baby."

This actually made me wonder... what would you do about BC once you're married? Getting married doesn't mean you stop BC you know - you only stop when the time is right to have a baby. So, just for example, let's say you get married, have a kid, and then your "6 week waiting period" after giving birth is up. Are you planning on playing Russian Roulette at that point? Or being celibate inside your marriage for the first year or two after your kid is born? I think you need to figure out this birth control thing REGARDLESS of the state of your relationship as it exists now. Talk to your OBGYN, she should be able to recommend something.

I understand where you are coming from here. I am personally considering coming off birth control because, like you, I don't like what it does to my body. Although, my SO and I have never used a condom. When I told him my plans, he was like 'you'll get pregnant', and I told him I wouldn't if we took alternative precautions (which he dislikes the idea of). I too was offended because, whilst I don't want a child at the moment either, I feel like he was so quick to make one with someone else. We too have planned marriage and kids into our future, so I understand your frustrations.

Or he will be cheating ....

There are other forms of BC besides the pill.