First off, I would remove the names from your blog because there are weirdos that would try and find you or your kids based on that.

Okay. If your own daughter is bossy and manipulative, and your stepdaughter wanted space from her for a week, that's her right. But your DH should have told her, any time she wants or looks like she's going to interact with your older daughter, that she made her choice and she has to follow through. What happened is that you guys are letting her have free run of interacting on HER terms, when she wants, and playing the "this is the new rule this week" card when she doesn't. Big mistake. The first step should have been to tell her that if she wants space, she can easily go to her room (if she has one) by herself and get space, and tell them politely she's tired and be left alone. Not drag the parents into making it seem like a punishable rule. It gave her too much power.

Can't have your cake and eat it too. I, however, am not sure why your younger daughter is getting upset. Is it that the older two seem to be fighting over her and she feels a lot of pressure? I'd just tell her to tell both of them, when she's playing with the other, to tell the one asking that "I am playing with x, I will talk to you when I'm done."

I know how annoying it is to have a younger and I asked so many times for space. My parents never gave it, and the only rule that they enforced was that if I told my sister politely I was tired and would like some time alone, she had to comply.

Two girls are probably fighting to see who is top dog.

It's done now. Generic advise to parents is to let kids work it out themselves unless ears are being bitten off etc. Neither force them to play together nor cooperate where they can play apart. They have the use of the home and they can use it or go hide under the bed. Don't force any apologies just leave the whole thing alone from this point on.

Interestingly I've read several recent articles about "bossy" females saying in effect if its OK for males to take charge (or attempt to) then its considered leadership behavior but why can't females? Good point. If I want the best surgeon I don't care if she's considered "bossy" by her co-workers. Same goes for the President of the company where I own stock.

But I know what you mean, bossy girls seem to have to take charge directly - issuing orders and complaining if they're not followed. Bossy boys seem to take a set-back in stride and try again later seemingly following the adage "If once you fail try try again".

Wait a minute, you made a rule that SD-P can do whatever she wants, and if DD-B is around, DD-B has to leave because SD-P wants some 'space'? And then DD-A and DD-B are crying because DD-A and DD-B were playing nicely together, but SD-P wanted to play too so DD-B had to leave and DD-A was sad because they were having fun, but SD-P is in charge?

I don't see this improving.

Kids who live together fulltime really can't have 'separate' for a week, steps or bios. The thought of that makes me smile thinking how wonderful it would have been to banish my sister from my vicinity a time or two as kids. As I'm sure there was more than once my sister would have gladly seen me locked in a closet. Kids fight. They disagree. They get bored with each other. They get in moods where they just want 'me' time and relaxation. Nothing wrong with individual 'me' time. A week? Can't and shouldn't.

Separate might mean each girl having her own space/room and being able to go in the room , close the door and the other girls leave her alone. It's ok for children to want privacy. lay on the bed and daydream. Read a book, do homework, play a game kid can play by self. All perfectly normal and acceptable 'me' time. But banning one or two of the kids from each other for a week all in one home. I'm sorry, but what were you/Dh thinking :?

Your daughters also have the advantage the new SD does not have. They have the bond of being born and raised together, true sisterhood bond where they can love and 'hate' each other and they know it's other's ups and downs and moods and just what buttons to push or not. They tease and giggle and laugh and make faces and say mean things to each other . the next day their 'best friends' again. this is all something the SD does not have with your two daughters. I would imagine you'll find that the two 10yr olds think of 'little sister' being the baby tag-along. yeah just two yrs difference but it's enough the older two may at times see themselves as superior and ooh so much cooler than the younger child (bios siblings do this no reason to believe steps wouldn't also).

These girls need to come to the realization that none of them or going to just 'poof', move out be banished , be treated more special than either of the other two blah blah blah. You and dad are going to have to help them adjust and accept this. They are stuck with each others and they can make the best of it or they can park their buns separately in their personal space/room and have 'me' time.