Leaving an 11 year old home alone all day??
Long story short, my husband had to go to a training for his work today. I work days, and he couldn't find a family member to watch SD11 today (she is on spring break). Insteadof hiring a babysitter or something, he left her home alone...all day...and I just now found that out!
I'm far from being overprotective. And if she was a very mature 11 year old it would be one thing. But considering that she has no street smarts, doens't even remember to wipe after going to the bathroom, and just in general has no common sense, I cannot believe he left her alone all day!
When I asked DH about it he said "well, I had no other option!" I told him, "um, you could have hired a babysitter like anyone else would have done." he said he didn't want to trust someone he didn't know to do that.
Please tell me if I'm being unreasonable or not. I just cannot believe SD11 is home ALONE right now and has been since I left for work at 7am and he left for training shortly after!
Right, this kid can't do
Right, this kid can't do ANYTHING for herself. I mean anything. I guarantee you, I will leave work here in about 20 minutes and go home, and I GUARANTEE SD11 is still in her PJs, the toilet will be full with no toilet paper and hasn't been flushed all day, she probably ate nothing for lunch but chips or something even though DH left a lunch box for her...she has absolutely no common sense. I also wouldn't put it past her to have gone sneaking through the house getting into stuff she shouldn't. She's nosy. I swear if I find out she's gone into DH and mine's room and gone through anything I will blow a fuse.
Even worse, he told her not to tlel me she'd be home alone...I mean isn't that his answer right there as to if it was appropriate or not to leave her home alone?!
I think it depends on the
I think it depends on the kid. My BS is 6 and is in first grade. He can make his own breakfast, can let the dog ( who is an escape artist ) in off her chain. He is extreemly responsible and tells me that he thinks he could get himself off to school on the bus. If he didn't have to walk to a bus stop I know he could do all that. HOWEVER I would not leave him home alone because that is wrong. At 11 though heck yes. I think in the summer time especially I will take advantage of that money saving joy. I will still sign him up 2 to 3 days a week for a summer program but at least 2 days I will let him stay home. I am thinking by 9 at least I will let him get himself on the bus & off.
I may have a craptastic marriage, I may be an idiot because I have not left my husband yet, BUT I am raising a great boy who is smart, sweet and self reliant.
I think 11 is on the cusp. If
I think 11 is on the cusp. If you know the kid is irresponsible - NO.
When I think about what they
When I think about what they do upstairs in 10 minutes while I am in the shower downstairs, I cringe every time SO leaves them alone. SS almost 13, SD almost 9, SD 7.
Right. The issue is her
Right. The issue is her maturity. If she was a mature 11 year old, I'd not think much about it. She is just immature, has no common sense, and no street smarts.
I've left my 11 and 9 year
I've left my 11 and 9 year old home alone for long periods of time but they are very responsible. They do their own cooking, have their own phone, ect.... I don't leave them home without letting a trusted neighbor know to keep an eye out. It all depends on the kid in my opinion.
As many others have said, it
As many others have said, it really comes down to the individual kid, their maturity level, and how YOU feel about it.
My 9-year-old? I'd trust him at home with no problem. He'd be totally fine. I do often leave him at home alone when I run up the street to the grocery store for a few things, and I don't give it a second thought. He prefers to stay home and read or play video games and hates grocery shopping with me, and he knows that if he screws up and does something stupid even once, that privilege will go away for a very long time. He's not willing to risk it because he knows that sometimes I take forever in the store, and he can't stand it!
He can make his own breakfast and lunch, pour a glass of milk, entertain himself in a SAFE and SANE way, and do whatever needs to be done without any help or intervention at all.
My 9-year-old (almost 10) stepson, though? HELL NO. I wouldn't leave that boy alone anywhere for more than about two seconds. He'd burn the damn house down before I got out of the driveway.
Two kids, same age (roughly), but a HUGE difference.
The info below is taken from
The info below is taken from Wiki.Answers.com. Although specific to California it gives opinions and names other states. After reading this I don't think it would be safe to leave an idiot 11 year old alone:
What is the legal age of children can stay home alone California?
In: Child Safety, Children and the Law, State Laws, Children and Divorce [Edit categories]
Answer:
California has not passed a law regarding this issue. Most authorities believe that it is safe to leave a 12 or 13 year old home alone for a few hours during the day. The child needs to be safe, feel safe, and know how to handle any emergencies.
LEGAL AGE
There are very few states in the U.S. with legal minimum ages for children home alone, but many state agencies have published guidelines. Georgia, Illinois, Maryland and Oregon are a few of the states with specific ages specified in their laws.
12 years of age appears to be the most common recommendation. Below in Related Links is an article entitled Home Alone Children Legal Age Limits which provides one guideline from a California agency representative who suggests that 8 year olds and over can be left at home for up to several hours (usually after school before a parent gets home from work). This site also provides a state by state comparison with references.
Legality is not the issue,
Legality is not the issue, it's responsibility the OP is concerned about. My SD is 22, she has 2 kids, obviously she is legally able to stay home alone. That does not mean I would want her staying in MY home alone.
Looks like the consensus is
Looks like the consensus is that bios can stay home a lot sooner than skids. Something lawmakers should consider.
Hahahhaa, I know right? Bio
Hahahhaa, I know right? Bio Kids = perfect, wonder-geniuses...step kids = ignorant, incapable bottom feeders
Definitely depends on the
Definitely depends on the kid. I'd leave my just turned 12 year old home alone all day before my 13 year old. They are just completely different maturity wise. Neither of them would be willing to be home alone for that amount of time, they'd be scared. They can handle about 2 hours.
Sounds like your SD isn't a mature 11 and he should have gotten a sitter.
The point is HE thinks she is
The point is HE thinks she is old enough to be left alone, or he wouldn't have done it... think if she were 4 years old... it would be legal neglect to say, "I had no other option" He thinks she is old enough to be left alone and does not care that you think her physical years are ahead of her mental maturity.... nothing you do will change the way he sees his daughter.
What it really boils down to
What it really boils down to is how effective is the kid in an emergency and is s/he going to do something stupid. You hear about 4 year olds dialing 911 yet 25 year old blonde bimbos can't find the eleven to punch it in. It must be true I read it on the Internet.
What can I say. If YOU don't feel comfortable then that's the end of it.
My SD goes to camps during
My SD goes to camps during the breaks...eliminates need for a sitter and gets her out of the house around kids her age. He should NOT have left here there if she is not a mature 11.