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Clueless dad has returned!

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

Let's see...this morning I find out DH HAS driving SD15 to school every day...dropping her off at between 7:00 a.m. and 7:15 a.m...she has no practices or anything like that, and school doesn't start until 8:45 a.m...but she doesn't want to ride the bus because it is "too crowded"! BULL!! Something else is up!

The "live in babysitter" at BM's gave SD15 his iPhone 5c, because he changed from Verizon to Spring (thank goodness it isn't an AT&T phone, because I don't what that girl on my data plan). DH set it all up to work on our wi-fi, so it basically acts like an iPod. Really? All week, the phone has been in bed with her when she has been gotten up in the morning...meaning, she is saying up until all hours on the thing...probably using some chat app, and I can PROMISE you SnapChat is on that think already! This is how she is now breaking the rules without getting caught (and yes, the school has a "guest" wi-fi, which is why she was taking her tablet to school when it worked). SD15 has been difficult to get up for school all week, and she is back to hibernating in her room.

Oh, and she didn't eat dinner last night...her grandmother had given her $40, so apparently she got a ride to the store from the boyfriend's and bought sodas, chips, ice cream, and candy. Yeah, for dinner she had a pint of ice cream and half a can of Pringles! Oh, and a Mountain Dew! DH didn't bother to make her eat anything real. Yeah, I know...at least she is eating...but she is gaining weight at a crazy rate...she is already complaining that jeans that were bought just a month ago already are getting too small, and she is blaming it on the dryer! Really? How is the dryer shrinking your clothing when your clothing doesn't see the thing but maybe once every 2 months? This binge cycle is lasting longer than normal...hmmm....

Just when I thought there was hope...

tabby yabba do's picture

Yeah, for dinner she had a pint of ice cream .... But she is gaining weight at a crazy rate ... She is already complaining that jeans that were bought just a month ago already are getting too small

I hope there isn't a whittle bundle 'o love on the way! :sick:

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

Yeah...that is what I'm worried about! I've been certain that SD15 and the boyfriend are sexually active. SD15's period have always been irregular because of eating disorders that no one wants to acknowledge (she will go through periods of starving herself, and then there will be these binge periods, which usually only last a few weeks, but this one is going on two months). She probably wouldn't even know if she were preggers!

But she simply refuses to eat anything healthy...if the meal isn't junk food or fast food of some type, she will refuse to eat it. During this binge period, she has gone through all of the snack food in the house...even the easy mac that has been sitting in the cupboard for over a year! ANYTHING that isn't classified as real food...cookies, crackers, easy mac...and DH is complaining that there is no more snack food in the house, but I'm refusing to buy it. If not having junk food in the house means that SD15 goes back to starving herself, maybe DH should do something about it...because it isn't that there is not food in the house. There is plenty of food...the fridge is always stocked with all kinds of salad fixings, eggs, lean meat, etc. Every week I plan meals that are healthy...I have a crockpot chicken on right now. DH has a huge problem with eating crap, too. He eats McDonald's EVERY DAY for breakfast and lunch...I don't eat that crap! I shouldn't be forced to cook a separate crap meal for everyone else in the house.

On a positive note, I start my hip-hop class tonight. I'm SOOOOO excited!!! Ever since they took the hip-hop class away at the gym I go to, I've had to go without my dance class trying to avoid conflict with SD15 wanting to take some $200 contemporary dance class (though, she shows NO dedication to dance). I found a studio that has a punch card system...and you can get a 5-class card for $27! The card is for their hip hop classes or their Zumba classes...and the hip-hop class is only once a week, so that is super affordable for me! I do Zumba on Thursday's at the gym, but that is ONLY because my friend who used to teach the hip-hop class does it...I'm really not a big fan of Zumba. BUT...she is getting a new manager, so we may try to get the hip-hop class back, and that will be 2 classes a week for me if we are successful. Wink

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

Oh...I'm so done! I had a glimmer of hope last week, but it is looking like DH is slipping backwards again. My hope is fading before my eyes...LOL! It is so depressing...especially with BS19 leaving for college. I'm going to be so alone in this house soon! Time to start making myself busy! I need excuses to not get drug to SD15's "stuff"...hehehe. The way she treats me, I'm not making extra effort for her!

DH completely ignores what SD15 is doing...seriously! He was too tied up in watching TV last night while I was at the Project Grad meeting to notice that SD15 was only eating that junk, and leaving every light in the house on. I only knew because of the trail of trash she left in my exercise room! I have this sneaky suspicion she was twirling her rifle in there, which she is not allowed to do in the house...period! Yeah, when my equipment is damaged or the fan/light is broken in there...grrrr! She left all of her trash all over my exercise room! I asked why he bought her all that stuff, and DH said that she bought it all herself...supposedly. I asked him if she ate anything real for dinner, and he said, "I don't think so...but I 'forgot' to eat, too." Really? You can see why I get frustrated!

I told DH I wanted him to get SD15 to get all of her crap out of MY exercise room (yes, MY room...no one else in the house uses it other than my son occassionally if the school workout room is closed). It is my space, and SD15 does not have the right to use it and especially doesn't have the right to trash it. I don't care if it is an open area (it is the other 'living space' in the house). I'm trying to build a space so that I don't have to rely on a gym any longer and so I can start having clients once I take my exam (as I just got through with studies to be a personal trainer). It just pisses me off that she has no respect for my space!

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

I guess day two in a row going over to the boyfriend's after school? I mean, she was supposed to be home by now on the bus, but she isn't. I've already gotten on to DH that he at least needs to let me know if she is supposed to be home or not. I guess he doesn't care if SD15 goes missing, or he would at least let me know so that I could call him ASAP if she doesn't walk through the door as she should. As it is, I don't stress about it because I figure he simply didn't tell me...AGAIN!

This laid back style of parenting is going to bite him in the ass, and I'm not going to help bail him out! SD15 ends up pregnant, guess who will have to take off work for pre-natal appointments...NOT ME! Who will be finding money for baby things...NOT ME, and MY income will not be touched to care for a baby! I guess he doesn't realize that our marriage will not survive SD15 getting preggers...they will both be out on their ear! I've warned him...he doesn't listen. I get this feeling that DH's life is getting ready to tumble around him...I don't know why...just get a really bad feeling about SD15 and this boyfriend thing...going over to his house so much and all.

Of course, now DH is all mad at me. I called him to see what was up, like I do at this time every day. He was explaining to me that SD15 is going over to the boyfriend's all week to "help his sister with guard stuff", and that she has to be up at the school at 7:00 a.m. all week to practice for captain tryouts (note...this is SD15 saying she wants to practice at the school...not that an official practice has been called...so she is basically there by herself). I pointed out that I didn't think it would be a good idea for her to be captain, because I can see her becoming everything she said she hated about the current captain...especially the way she talks about the other girls behind their backs. DH doesn't think that would happen. I also brought up that I am NOT a guard mom, and will NOT become a guard mom...I've got too many other things on my plate...I'm not organizing fund raisers, making bows, holding parties at the house for "team building", etc. He got really annoyed with me at that point...like "but you do x, y, and z for the other kids". You know what...that stuff I volunteered for, and I didn't always do it...AND it was never EXPECTED of me! I told him I was throwing it out there, because no one is even bothering to talk to me about any of this, and I know if she makes captain, it would be assumed that I would be a guard mom, and I'm not doing it! I have things that I want to do that other things have already taken away from...and I'm tired of it! I'm doing my thing, and if no one else likes it, oh well!