I am uncomfortable with my SO buying a trampoline for skids home. why?
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All the gifts we buy skids leave our home and stay at the their mother's so why am I uncomfortable with the idea of a trampoline as a gift. We have bought bikes, phones etc before and they always take them straight home so why do I feel differently about the trampoline?
Can anyone help me understand why I feel this way.
They can be really dangerous.
They can be really dangerous. Kids fall/jump off of them and get seriously injured. I loved trampolines as a kid, but I would never ever buy one now. I remember getting hurt several times on them, and I had friends that broke their legs on them. Is this maybe what is making you uncomfortable about it?
No, it's not a safety issue.
No, it's not a safety issue. For some reason I think putting permanent items in BM yard feels strange to me.
Ah. Gotcha! I missed that
Ah. Gotcha! I missed that part of it. Maybe because it wouldn't make it's way back to your house if it goes to BM's? We don't allow anything we buy to go to BM's. Things we buy have a way of vanishing over there.
I assume the skids spoke to
I assume the skids spoke to BM before they asked for it. Because the skids are EOWE they take everything home. Leave nothing. That's the way its always been, even before me.
I really am not worried about the safety issue. If their own parents are not bothered, neither am I.
We had a trampoline for
We had a trampoline for years. My sisters did competition events thru school. It was rectangular and we NEVER had a net. The safety net only allows kids to multi-jump and not learn their limits. I was the only one who ever hurt themselves. I was stepping off it and the step slid on the grass and I twisted my knee out of place.
I would have a problem if DH decided to provide a Christmas present that would be at BMs place. Can't she save up for herself?
Lmao
Lmao
That is a bit how I feel but
That is a bit how I feel but mostly I despise BM and don't want him supplying fun stuff for her house. I don't know why I haven't had problems with the bikes phones tvs etc that we gave to skids that are at bm's.
That's true too. But I am
That's true too. But I am trying to see it from SO point of view. The two skids want this as a joint and only present. They don't want to have it here because they spend 12 days per fortnight at their house and would play on it more often compared to the 2 days they spend here.
It's a present for the kids.
It's a present for the kids. It needs to be where they spend the most time. If you and your SO can afford it then let them have it. It's not going to be a permanent fixture for life. They'll get sick of it sooner or later. In two or three years no one will want it taking up space in the yard and never being used. Stressing over this isn't worth it. As i sad, if you can afford it and the kids want it. Let them have it and be glad the monstrosity isn't going to be taking up space in your yard.
We don't allow sd to take
We don't allow sd to take anything from here to her mothers house, we'll never see it again.....don't see what the big deal is, she doesn't touch her toys or anything while she's here anyway.
Most parents seem to keep
Most parents seem to keep what they bought at their house. Not in my situation however. I am used to it but for some reason this trampoline is really giving me grief. I would prefer SO to give them money for Christmas and they can put it together and buy it themselves.
to me, it would seem like
to me, it would seem like he's "furnishing" bm's house. i'd feel this way if dh bought skid a bed for her house. does he think he will be the one installing it?
He says he won't he
He says he won't he installing it. And I have brought up the point that I like to see people enjoy the gifts I bought them. He doesn't care, he knows they will enjoy it. I get peeved because they come here and claim everything of my daughter's as theirs and she shares well with them but when they want something it goes straight home to their house and my kids don't get to enjoy anything of theirs.
do you ever plan activities
do you ever plan activities for your dd when skids aren't there? is your dd your dh's or your ex's? could it be that you are upset because this is an over-the-top gift going to his ex's house? how much are trampolines anyway? dh and I have a set amount of money that we spend on each of our kids. his gets no more than mine. is it the inequity of the situation that has you bothered? is your dh a "guilty dad", spending a lot of money over an beyond child support? is your household suffering because of it? it sounds like you would like your dd to enjoy a trampoline, or some of the nice gifts skids get, but she is denied, which wouldn't be a problem if she has equally nice things. it sucks that she is expected to share her stuff, but skids don't have to because they squirrel it away. maybe allow your dd to have one nice thing that she doesn't have to share with anybody? just trying to figure this out.