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What is worse?!

Whyowhy's picture

Submitted by Whyowhy on Sat, 11/23/2013 - 5:14pm

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General Discussion

Hi all,

The question I have is not directly related to step issues, but I was just wondering and want to compare two scenarios.

A close friend of mine started dating this handsome, wealthy guy and was really happy, but after third date she found out that the guy smoked like every two hours or so. She asked me for advice and I didn't know what to tell her except that there are scientific facts that smoking causes cancer and many other health issues. She tells me not all smokers die young. Is that true?

Anyway, after talking about smoking and the strain it could cause on a relationship, we somehow ended up comparing it to marrying a guy with a kid. What are your thoughts on this comparison? Do you think any is better than the other? and is smoking a dealbreaker for you?

Thanks

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Sat, 11/23/2013 - 6:07pm

Smoking is a huge deal breaker for me.
Foul breath, nasty, stained teeth.YUCK

I would pick a nonsmoking dad over a kid free smoker any day.

Whyowhy's picture

Submitted by Whyowhy on Sun, 12/01/2013 - 3:29am

Very interesting responses. I think smoking is the worst because smoking can kill. I know we all die one way or another and sooner or later, but it is a fact that smoking causes many different health issues not just to the smoker but to those around them. Why should anyone marry someone who doesn't value life and puts addiction before themselves and their relationship.

furkidsforme's picture

Submitted by furkidsforme on Sun, 12/01/2013 - 5:30am

Oh get off your high horse. You know what else kills?

Pesticides
Water
Fruit
Processed foods
GMO's
Genetics
Fat
Plastic bottles
Food containers
Sunlight

and every other effing thing you eat, drink, or are exposed to on a daily basis.

I'm not saying smoking does NOT cause cancer, of course it does and everyone knows it. It also causes COPD and Emphysema, too. But after working for 15 years as a Paramedic I have met just as many smokers that lived to be 80+ who did NOT die of cancer as I have met people who have never smoked and died under 40 of cancer.

If you don't want to date a smoker then don't date a smoker. I don't really want to date a person who whistles all the time. Smoking is a habit that people do to relax, just like some people habitually whistle. Most smokers really enjoy smoking. You can't compare a persons HABIT to a kid.

Plus, a smoker could negotiate to only smoke outside and to brush their teeth afterward, and that would be a fair compromise. What would you tell a guy with a kid? Leave the kid outside and wash your hands after you touch it?

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sun, 12/01/2013 - 5:39am

My XW decided to take up smoking while we were married. Apparently she was a social smoker when she was in college before we met. It was not what ended our marriage but I told her it would not happen in my home or in our vehicles and there would be no butts disposed of on our property except in a sealed container that she would deal with. She smoked outside on our porch for a couple of weeks but decided it was too much of a PITA to smoke in compliance with my stipulations so she gave it up.