The Christmas issue

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Ok, so I'm sure I'm not the only one who goes through this when the holidays come. So, my wife and I have 5 daughters together. She has 2 from her 1st marriage, 15 and 5, and I have 2 from my 1st marriage, 11 and 7, and we have one 17 months together. So as we look at the finances for Christmas we have $500 to spend on the children. Ok, so to me, that means $100 a piece, more or less. Now here in lies the issue. My wife wants to get her 5 yr old a Nabi, which is some sort of learning tablet, yet it costs $200. So to me, that's out of the budget. And she's upset about it. I don't want to fight about it, but to me it just seems unfair to them all to spend $200 on one and about $75 on the others. I know it cannot be exactly the same for all, but $200 to $75 just isn't fair to me. What do you guys think?

Gotta b equal across the

Gotta b equal across the board !!!

See if you can find something similiar on eBay.

Equal all across the board or

Equal all across the board or nothing at all.

We have 4 kids, 2 from his

We have 4 kids, 2 from his ex, two from mine. Gifts are always of equal value. It is the fairest way to be.

I have 2 step daughters and

I have 2 step daughters and then 2 bio daughters with my DH...I do it equal every Christmas. If your going to get one a big gift, then all get a big gift. I usually even take the gifts I got and split it up to where they all have the same amount to unwrap. Now that SDs are older I asked SD22 if she would rather have money but she told me she likes the heart felt gifts I pick out for her. Even though that means more work for me, it also made me feel pretty good inside that she actually likes what I get for her.

Your bio together is only

Your bio together is only young but the way I look at it is, if your household is the only one the children are receiving gifts at they should receive more. For eg if dad wants to spend $100 on each of his kids, cool, that's fair. Then if each child's mum, no matter which home they are from is spending another$100 then that is fair also.so children from intact families benefit the same from children with mum and dad living apart. I think that is fair.

I have to disagree with most

I have to disagree with most on this board.
We have BS3 and SD6. SD doesn't live with us, and gets a HUGE pile of gifts every year from BM (santa)..

I think if her 2 and your 2 are getting lots of gifts from the parents that don't live in the home, the one who is missing out is the child you have together.

I understand having that many kids in the same house will look at what each other got and that would cause a problem, but its not all about how much money was spent.

DH always went overboard with SDs gifts in the beginning, they were opened and then sat at our house and never played with. It was a huge waste of money and so now BM does the gifts from santa by herself (no child needs to have santa come to both homes, that's overboard)... and DH gets her a few small things that are from us.

Let me also mention the gifts from last year to SD are still sitting at our house, in the boxes, never been played with. Xmas has turned into all about what you get/how much you get and really its stupid!

It's not stupid when you're

It's not stupid when you're trying to prevent resentment among the children. IMO

i also have to go with equal

i also have to go with equal across the board.
if she wants to get the tablet for her 5 y.o., maybe she can have another relative chip in for it (like the father!!) or her mother or sister or someone...

i also do agree that multiple christmases for skids with multiple parts of their families "shafts" the one child you do have together. not really sure how to get around that, but at the same time you cannot control or limit how much other family members gift to them.

maybe just forget anyone else, and say what happens in your household, under your roof, regarding what you two as a parental unit give, will always be handled fairly and equally to all children?

small kids don't know the

small kids don't know the cost of things. Maybe that can be a birthday present that she saves up for later??
Older kids "toys" tend to cost more so you'll find yourself spending more on those as you go on. But for the little kids.. enjoy the cheaper gifts while you can!!

Her birthday was just last

Her birthday was just last week. She took her to American Girl, got her a doll and lunch. She spent $340.

WOW. That is a lot to spend

WOW. That is a lot to spend on a two year old.
She just spent half of what ya'll plan to spend on FIVE kids for xmas, and wants to spend another $200 just her come xmas?

Rob, it sounds like your wife has champagne taste on a beer budget.

Minor correction, she is 5. I

Minor correction, she is 5. I have no problem with the spending. We have taken all the girls by 5 to American Girl to get a doll. It was a very special day for her. That's not my issue. It is the fact that she wants to spend $200 out of $500 on one out of 5 kids. And honestly, my wife is not that way. She has made many sacrifices for the kids as have I. That birthday was planned and prepared for for several months now. She does not have champagne taste on a beer budget.

I agree with you,

I agree with you, unfortunately my wife carries loads of guilt and tries to unload some of the guilt for birthdays and holidays. What is really difficult is that her 2 daughters birthdays are in November, and mine are in January. Its always a rough stretch from November to January.

Gotta b equal across the

Equal all across the board or

We have 4 kids, 2 from his

I have 2 step daughters and

Your bio together is only

I have to disagree with most

It's not stupid when you're

i also have to go with equal

small kids don't know the

Her birthday was just last

WOW. That is a lot to spend

Minor correction, she is 5. I

I agree with you,

Oops, my mistake, I thought

LeapPad is less expensive.

Her BF bought her the leap

Then a second tablet is

We have 5. He has 4 and I

Now she said that SD15 want

Yes, truth is truth, I just

So tell her to work a bit of

^^^Great idea!!^^^

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The Christmas issue