Hello, I'm wondering if any of you have any advice to help me with my SD. She is making my life crazy and I don't know what else to do. We've been together for over 4 years and it seems like as she gets older her behavior keeps getting worse and the more we try and find some way to fix things, the more she rebels/acts out. She is 13 now and throws tantrums like a 5yr old when she doesn't get her way. Yelling, screaming, crying, kicking the wall, slamming doors and pulling her hair. She's told me she hates me, she told her dad not to marry me, she doesn't even know why he likes me, I'm a bad mom, She doesn't want to be here, She hates our house our family and everything about it. She was grounded for having 33 missing assignments and couldn't go to a movie with my daughter and I so while we were gone, she poured a bottle of perfume in my daughter's fish tank and killed her fish and then wrote all over the outside of the tank. She will occasionally hurt my daughter and then say she didn't do it. She's thrown things at me, stole my ipod and swore to god she would never do that. Then when she couldn't deny it anymore she rubbed her eyes really hard repeatedly until they started watering and was then "crying" and refused to talk any more. She calls her teachers lazy and liars when she gets in trouble at school or isn't turning in her h.w. When I tell her father about things she's done when he's not home, she tells him I'm lying and making things up. She steals things from my daughter and breaks things. We've tried talking to her more times then I can count both individually just me or just him, or just us and her and even as a family. We've tried grounding her, making her do extra chores, write lines. We've taken her to a behavioral therapist and he recommended she see a psychologist. Which, ofcourse, my husband has not done anything about yet. I've gotten to the point where I've told my husband I refuse to fight with her anymore. I will continue to make her dinner, drive her to and pick her up from school, fold her clothes, make sure she has enough underwear and socks... etc. But I will not say anything if she's not doing what she's supposed to be doing because I can't stand being angry anymore and fighting with her literally every day. Because that's always what it turns into. I will say something to both her and my daughter at the same time if they are screwing around. Nothing mean, just hey, you both have something you're supposed to be doing. My daughter will generally stop and go about her business. SD will huff and moan and make snotty comments and if I say it doesn't matter you have something your supposed to be doing she flips out. On her mild days it's just more loud groaning and stomping off slamming her door, which is annoying but whatever. Usually however it turns into her yelling about how it's stupid, she doesn't want to do whatever it is, it's not fair, why is she getting in trouble when my daughter isn't... and on and on. When she didn't even get in trouble and I said something to BOTH of them initially. There is so much more almost every day there's something and I could write probably 3 pages or more of everything from just the past year. Please help, I love my husband and I don't want to see our family split up. Esp now that we have a son together. I also care about my SD. I hate fighting with her all the time and want to see her succeed in life but nothing we do seems to make even a dent.