HELP!!! - New!
Please be nice to me, and don't beat up on me. I am new to this website and am seeking help on numerous things.
But first things first.
Situation- My boyfriend and I live together. He and ex wife have shared 50/50 custody. Children switch every Friday. This has been established since October 2012. He moved out of the household March 2012. We met May 2012. I moved in September 2012, divorce finalized May 2013. They share 5 children- sd13, sd10, ss6, and sd/ss3.
Mother History- In my mind completely unstable emotionally and financially shouldn't have children as much as she does, but bf won't remove them from their mother in a grueling court battle. Mother w/o electricity summer 2012, reconnected day children started school fall 2012. (he paid his half of electric bill) Fast forward April 15, 2013 Elect shut off again. Reconnected September 3rd 2013. Judge at divorce stated Bf gets full placement while children are in school if BM has no electricity, but refused to take children away during summer.
Now BM has court dad next Tuesday for eviction. BF wants full placement of his children with bm seeing EOWend. BM doesn't care about children's grades. oldest SD13 is failing, and missing homework, not only on her weeks now his because we are constantly playing catch up on homework. When bf brings subject up to talk about her, claims she doesn't see big deal, and sd13 will change when she wants to, until then she isn't ready. She is in 8th grade!!!
How does he get his kids?! I have no idea how court system works other than going through the divorce with him. I can not get an answer out of anyone on what to do. Clerk of courts, child support, social services. ALL say nothing! We live in Wisconsin.
Thank you
LOC
Thank you for your response!
Thank you for your response!
She isn't forgetting to pay the bill, she spends her money unwisely. She makes just as much as dh, but chooses to purchase clothes, iphones, etc for her children. Winter of 2012/2013 she didn't have gas turned on because she didn't pay the bill. I can prove that because bill was in dh's name, and judge told her to pay the gas bill and she refused. So in order to have heat last winter, she used space heaters ( completely unsafe with 2 yr old twins running around) which rang up according to sd13/and ex's mother a $3500 elect bill that wasn't paid all winter and was forced to disconnect on april 15th (keep on due to law from Nov1- April 15th). She has admitted it in divorce court that she hasn't had gas, and electric last summer, and it was disconnected pior to divorce court (may 2013) I don't know how to prove that she didn't have electric because we can't obtain any financial records. I didn't think photos would have done much good. She has also been taken to small claims several times in the last 30 days for credit card debit- I can obtain proof of that.
Social services- They have been made aware- They have been called twice throughout the summer- due to children coming back with massive amounts of bug bites, children complaining of heat wo no way to cool off, and being bounced around to shower/ do laundry. I have photos of some of the bug bites.
School- dh is very much so involved in children's education. ex didn't go to oldest PT conferences bc she was too busy. dh is very much so involved in communication with teachers as far as children's schooling. Emails sd 13 teachers on a regular basis(mainly because she lies so bad about her hmwrk that cannot get a straight story), and other children to find out how they are doing. I was unaware about calling cops or something else. It was so hard and frustrating to send children back to their mom's crying because they didn't want to be there bc it was too hot and bugs were in the house bc door was open to allow air in. - I have no proof bugs were in the house other than children saying and texts from oldest sd13, and children's bug bites.
I will definatley google that information.
Thank you for your help!
LOC
Welcome. I hope you find
Welcome. I hope you find this to be a good place to vent, contribute and pick up some useful advice from others who are living the blended family dream.
Document, document, document. You have to have facts to get the appropriate results from a court action. As for the bug bites, take the kids to the doctor. A medical report is great for making a point in court. We used them several times when smacking my SS's SpermClan around in court for their neglectful toxic crap. Visitation began when SS was 2yo. For a number of years we struggled to get him toilet trained. He would leave for SpermIdiot visitatio 85% toilet trained and come home from visitation in a loaded diaper that had obviously not been changed all day with butt rash so bad he had puss filled welts on his butt cheeks and his anus was so raw it would bleed when we cleaned him up. Hearing his howels when we dealt with their neglect of the Skid would rip my heart out.
We got to where we would go straight from picking the Skid up at the airport after visitation to his Pediatricians office. The doc would take pics of the Skids butt, the black goo under his arms, in the inside of his elbows and in his crotch and would include a description of how bad SS's body odor was indicating not being bathed for days. A 2-4yo with BO that would make a septic worker proud is proof positive of the toxic neglect of the blended family opposition.
We have the med reports and dozens of these photographs of the Skid that are still in our Custody/Visitation/Support files. SS (now 21yo) has seen them and the neglect of his SpermClan still pisses him off to no end. They made their own bed with SS and now they have to lay in it.
Facts are not good or bad, they are just facts and they are the best tool you have to apply consequences to your Skid's neglectful BM.
Good luck.