My dad was in my life off and on until a couple years ago, my mom was married to him for 23 years and tried to make it work for the us (my biobrother and myself) through cheating, and much substance abuse – I truly commend my mom’s efforts as she went as far as leaving her family and taking a job across the country to try to get my dad away from the women and drugs hoping a new place would bring new life.

He didn’t actually live in the house with us until I was 9 as he was in college up to that point becoming a veterinarian, and my mom would move wherever the money was in her prospective field to give my brother and I the best life possible, and then finally after the divorce (I was 11) when I was 13 my mom married my stepdad who tried his best to not step in toes but lead me on the right path.

I have had my dad call my stepdad every name in the book, and myself as well as like I said he has been in and out of my life about 5 years ago I was slowly starting to be able to forgive him and move on but it was a struggle and he later ended up criticizing me for my life choices because it wasn’t in the order he would do them not because they weren’t good choices….it didn’t help shortly after I met DH and become inseparable with him which is easy when he is home since he works offshore at which point after we moved in together my dad I quote “You are a hefer if you are going to just live with that man, he doesn’t respect you and I question mine if you are going to do that” – this was before he even knew DH had a child, and I know and all of my family who has met DH knows that he not only respects me but my whole family, my grandmother is having a rough time and lives about 30 mi away so DH suggested we go cook her dinner tonight, he is one of the best DH’s I think I could have on the step-parent side though sometimes he doesn’t completely understand and just as a man in general.

I still remember a few decent times with my dad and so still consider him one of my dads most of the time there are days I don’t want to claim him at all. I do have a relationship with my step-mom though which I guess helps me still consider him some type of dad, while my stepdad is my dad and true father figure and the person I try to base my step-parenting off of as he even went so far as to convince me and my mom to sign off on my dad’s child support as my dad never paid so he wouldn’t go to jail during his second divorce (he claimed the money was going to me and she knew it wasn’t so tried to claim that to get half and make him pay us) because it was the godly thing to do.